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Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

My baby left me 

If anyone is wondering why I am no longer on the Forum..then it's because my wife, the darling of my life left me for somebody else.
I just want to die now.
I am so alone. So lonely.
My whole life was with her 33 years.
What am I going to do now?
I can't get myself together.
I'm so drunk now and can't get my life force back.
The rain beats on the window and I am lying in bed all on my own.
I really loved her.
My heart is so broken.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 18:52:46
 
Gummy

Posts: 495
Joined: Nov. 27 2005
From: North Carolina, USA

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Hang in there Ron! I feel terribly for you... It's a small thing, but know there are people in this strange community who want good things for you.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 19:15:01
 
gbv1158

 

Posts: 410
Joined: May 29 2009
From: Italy

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Gummy

quote:

I feel terribly for you... It's a small thing, but know there are people in this strange community who want good things for you.



Yes..! only good good things for you Ron! hang on my friend!

ciao,
Giambattista
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 19:23:53
 
duende

Posts: 3053
Joined: Dec. 15 2003
From: Sweden

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

thats ****ing terrible!
Just hang in there. I think thats all i can say right now. It will probably suck no matter what anyboday says.

im sorry

/Henrik

_____________________________

This is hard stuff!
Don't give up...
And don't make it a race.
Enjoy the ray of sunshine that comes with every new step in knowledge.

RON
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 19:52:18
 
Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to duende

Henrik
I don't know if I can hang in there anymore
My whole life force is just ebbing away from me now.
I used to be so happy playing the guitar and being on the forum.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 20:56:12
 
Pgh_flamenco

 

Posts: 1506
Joined: Dec. 5 2007
From: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Sorry to hear of this, Ron. After 33 years together a break up like this can be emotionally devastating. The last thing you should do is drink alcohol. It can't solve anything and may only make things worse. It might be in your best interest to take this tragedy as an opportunity for personal growth. I suggest you find a competent counselor or therapist and begin dealing with this in a productive way. In making your selection go by reputation and not just by credentials.

_____________________________

  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 20:57:08
 
Andy Culpepper

Posts: 3026
Joined: Mar. 30 2009
From: NY, USA

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Ron that is terrible news... unbelievable. Women can be the worst sometimes.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say that a big reason why the forum has seemed more boring, slow, and generally less full of good humor is because you've been gone.
We really care about you here... I know you are heart broken now but you should sober up, regroup and look at what a cool person you are and how much you still have to offer and enjoy about life. I think Pgh has some excellent suggestions.
Good luck Ron and stay strong.

_____________________________

Andy Culpepper, luthier
http://www.andyculpepper.com
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 21:23:41
 
El Kiko

Posts: 2697
Joined: Jun. 7 2010
From: The South Ireland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Ron..

I dont know if this is the best place for advice for you or if anyone here is the best person to give it . However now is the time to rely on your friends, your real friends, go and see people , really , I'm sure there are those you can rely on.
I do agree with the suggestion of talking to a counselor if you feel you need it, especially now as you may have a lot of unpleasant emotions.
However your life is now, I am sure of one thing ,.. you cannot possibly know what will happen in the future.
These are just words , go and talk to people.

Rico_Kiko

_____________________________

Don't trust Atoms.....they make up everything.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 21:44:33
 
rombsix

Posts: 7833
Joined: Jan. 11 2006
From: Beirut, Lebanon

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

I'm really sorry this happened, Ron. The alcohol might numb the pain, but it will not make your life better. If possible, try not to stay alone, or at least try to talk to friends or family near you, or a professional. The trauma compounded with the loneliness and drinking are not a good combination. Please, if there is anything we foro members can do to help, let us know - I think I can safely speak for most of us here that we would be willing to lend a helping hand.

_____________________________

Ramzi

http://www.youtube.com/rombsix
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 21:46:31
 
henrym3483

Posts: 1584
Joined: Nov. 13 2005
From: Limerick,Ireland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to El Kiko

ron,

im so sorry to hear that, anything i can do or be of a helping hand let me know.

god bless and i'll keep you in my prayers.

harry
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 21:47:56
 
Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to henrym3483

I don't know what to do.
I waited so long to find her.
She was the love of my life.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 22:10:55
 
Doitsujin

Posts: 5078
Joined: Apr. 10 2005
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Ron be strong!! I feel with you! You are a great guy. Don´t use alcohol. Its really hard, and Im sure I cant imagine how much it must hurt because Im not even 33 years old. All I can say is,... take a timeout, but then go ahead. You have a lot of friends. I would come over to you if I could. That would be be the best. Meet some friends and try to keep strong. Its not easy..and it´ll take time. But dont think thats the end. It is not!
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 22:26:10
 
Tomrocker

Posts: 404
Joined: Apr. 18 2010
From: Italy

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Oh dear Ron.. As a Role, man is a fool, if it is hot, he want it cool, if it's cool, he want it hot, always wants what is not. PM your number my friend. A friend in need is a friend indeed and a phone call might help. We all like you here and we will do whatever it takes to take you out of this even if it ain't easy. Some of us went through this before. You need to have your mind clear to take care of That. just neglect the bottle and play your guitar instead. If you feel loneliness, let us call you. Even if we live far of each other we can be with you anyway. Hang on my friend. Life is still so beautiful to start once again..

_____________________________

This is hard stuff!
Don't give up...
And don't make it a race.
Enjoy the ray of sunshine that comes with every new step in knowledge.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 22:38:40
 
Escribano

Posts: 6421
Joined: Jul. 6 2003
From: England, living in Italy

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

It is very worrying when drink is mixed with a broken heart. I will contact him by phone tomorrow and I am sure your messages of support will help him to understand he is not really alone or unloved, not with so many friends here.

Ron, stay off the drink at this time. Whilst it can initially lift the mood, in large quantities it is a depressant. Take care of yourself.

_____________________________

Foro Flamenco founder and Admin
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 22:44:36
 
Richard Jernigan

Posts: 3435
Joined: Jan. 20 2004
From: Austin, Texas USA

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Ron-

I am a very fortunate man. I love Scotch whisky. I have a bit of a taste for tequila and gin as well. I enjoy a glass of wine...or three or four. But if I drink too much, it makes me feel bad, and I lay off it for a while. As I said, I'm a lucky man.

The best boss I ever had, my mentor in my career, eventually one of my very best friends, was not so lucky. He and his wife divorced, messily. He fell out with his children who were at university. When I asked him why, he smiled ruefully and said, "Probably because I phoned them up too many times when I was drunk."

His mother, whom his father found impossible to get along with, clung to life for nearly a year until she could die on Christmas day. One of the children told me she thought it was done out of spite.

My friend and I used to like to drink together. But bit by bit the whisky got the best of him. He would disappear for a day or two, and reappear looking like Death warmed over. He was one of the founders of a very successful company, the one that led the way for Austin to become a center of high tech. He had to be relieved of his Vice-Presidency because of the booze. Soon he was out of work altogether.

He had plenty of money to live on, but he sank lower and lower. Eventually though, he began to pull out of it. Probably at his daughter's insistence he joined a therapy group. I'm not sure how much good the therapy did him, but there he met and fell in love with a younger woman.

He got off the bottle, but had a few relapses. After two or three years though, he was off the booze completely and never went back. He returned to work, and found his niche in the company he helped to start. He ran the internally funded research and development projects. He was a scientific genius and a true gentleman. He was the binding force for the outstanding technical people.

He and his new love married. He retired from the company and they bought a farm east of Austin. His father was a PhD biologist, and he had always had a great love for and interest in plants and animals. They turned the farm into a showplace. She developed a herd of prime Angus cattle.

Once he said to me, "You know what's great about this farm? There's something that absolutely has to be done every single day."

He passed away last February at age 85. He had a full and happy life for about thirty years after he recovered from his life plowing into the ditch and the booze getting the best of him.

His funeral was a celebration of a life well lived. He was admired by all who knew him.

I PM'ed you once about a period of darkness in my own experience. I've been back out in the sunlight for 25 or more years myself. I'm happier than at any other time in my life. Now I look forward to every new day.

Hang in there. The spirit can be resilient. Life can be good after it has been as bad as you can possibly imagine. And you're not alone: look at the friends you have here.

RNJ
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 17 2011 23:59:15
 
Sean

Posts: 672
Joined: Jan. 20 2011
From: Canada

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Been there done that, the drinking, the bad decisions and choices but you know what, despite a lot of stupidity on my part it still got better. Try to occupy your mind with something that makes you feel good about yourself, volunteering and helping others worked for me.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 0:09:58
 
Mark2

Posts: 1888
Joined: Jul. 12 2004
From: San Francisco

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Ron,
I wish you the very best and hope things will work out somehow. I can only guess how hard it must be for you now. i hope that you can somehow see that when a door closes, another opens. You are a wonderful guitarist-maybe a trip to Spain is in order.........................
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 0:29:03
 
rogeliocan

Posts: 811
Joined: Nov. 23 2009
From: Canada

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Pgh_flamenco

quote:

Sorry to hear of this, Ron. After 33 years together a break up like this can be emotionally devastating. The last thing you should do is drink alcohol. It can't solve anything and may only make things worse. It might be in your best interest to take this tragedy as an opportunity for personal growth. I suggest you find a competent counselor or therapist and begin dealing with this in a productive way.


I could not have said it better.
Sorry to hear that, with 33 years of history it must be very difficult.
Throw out all the alcohol, antiseptic, pain killers and drugs won't work on this; It's a pain of the mind and you must deal with it... and it hurts like hell doesn't it. But time will do it's thing and you will see the new you emerge. And you may not believe it now, but one day you will be happy again.

_____________________________

  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 0:31:53
 
xirdneH_imiJ

Posts: 1900
Joined: Dec. 2 2006
From: Budapest, now in Southampton

RE: My baby left me (in reply to rogeliocan

damn! we've all lost loves, but i can't even imagine your pain after such a long time...hang in there, you have many friends to rely upon here!
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 0:47:33
 
Agathagoagnes

 

Posts: 1
Joined: Nov. 16 2011
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Edited by Admin as spam
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 1:26:32
 
rodrigovalt

Posts: 296
Joined: May 1 2011
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

quote:

can you tell me the reason?


This is no joke man! cant believe you posted something that stupid.

Im sorry to hear that Ron. My prayers are with you, and you will get over it with the support of the people and friends who care about you. Best wishes for you

_____________________________

Rodrigo
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 1:32:46
 
kudo

Posts: 2064
Joined: Sep. 3 2009
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

quote:

Agathagoagnes

wtf dude?? this is no joke ! and you dont even know Ron, and you just joined yesterday??

Ron, Im very sorry to hear that, and I agree with all that has been said here, its very hard but stay strong, get away from alcohol, remember what you did before you met her, how your life was being single, and focus on yourself.

If I were you, I would probably comfort myself through playing solea, seguiriya and those kind of stuff, and I think because of the deep pain, they would come out sounding really good! but I was never in a relationship so I would not really know how I would react, but my point is that to use flamenco to get your expressions/feelings out instead of letting it all instead and instead of hurting yourself. thats how flamenco was made (if you really think about it).

also, your guitar, is your dear, a part of you, a part of your life that never lets you down. play your guitar instead of drinking alcohol and seek something...

_____________________________

  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 2:06:04
 
GuitarVlog

Posts: 441
Joined: Mar. 19 2009
From: San Francisco Bay Area

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

I'm speechless, Ron. I'm very sorry to hear about this. I don't know what to say but please stay away from the alcohol.

Whatever your beliefs, you have my prayers!








Agathagoagnes is another damned Chinese spamming account for ipad accessories. Nuke it!

_____________________________

Upgraded Yamaha CG171SF
The Guitar Student Journal
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 2:11:29
 
at_leo_87

Posts: 3055
Joined: Aug. 30 2008
From: Boston, MA, U.S.A

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Ron, i definitely noticed your absence and was actually going to post something. I'm so sorry,... that is just horrible news and I really sympathize with you.

You may feel lower than you've ever felt before right now but life goes on! You'll never know what tomorrow brings so keep going.

There's a great community here, and you're part of what makes it so great. You have friends here and we all wish the best for you!

_____________________________

  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 2:34:16
 
KMMI77

Posts: 1821
Joined: Jul. 26 2009
From: The land down under

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Hey Ron,

Like the others I feel sad hearing you are feeling this way. Those emotions are so consuming and powerful.


33 years is such a long time. I remember after living with a girl for only 4 years the emotions i felt when we parted ways. 33 years really is a lifetime.


If you are able, try to also see the doors that have opened while acknowledging those that have closed.

_____________________________

  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 4:23:26
 
bluesbuster

Posts: 56
Joined: Mar. 9 2011
From: Los Angeles

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

33 years is indeed a long time Ron, but you probably have another 33 years of happiness ahead of you. Life is a tricky bitch that just kicked you in the groin. Please be strong, you'll get over it in a while. Sunny days are going to come your way eventually.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 4:36:24
 
Elie

Posts: 1837
Joined: Apr. 10 2010
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

this is terrible, I'm sorry to hear that Ron
I think most of you would agree with me that Women are Crazy, Difficult, and Complicated .. they even admit that themselves.
an interesting quote I usually hear is :
"No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree"
stay strong Ron as bluesbuster said, you still have another 33 years of happiness ahead of you.
wish you all the best.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/user/GuitarristaAD
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 4:48:11
 
Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Hang on mate...believe it or not ...besides the fact that today you had a bit to drink you are doing better than before, from talking to you ..the last messages it seemed like you were in a much better mental place....it seemed like you were accepting it a little better


almost every person has been through it Ron (perhaps not to your degree and circumstances which as i said before are terrible) , is the worst...BUT u will survive it
and come out stronger for it.....there absolutely is rainbow at the end of the rain..

think of the alternative ? better be the guy away shes missing and thinking about than the guy next to her when her mind is away... u don't want her back!...and what be worried every time and paranoid ? once is broken is broken...it might not seem like it atm but u are in the best place u need to be atm...this needs to happen..

everyone is here for you amigo

I encourage everyone that wants to please share you heartbreak experiences with Ron.. how u dealt with it, how u didn't think you could ever ever get over it...but how one day u did......

_____________________________

  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 5:44:25
 
HolyEvil

Posts: 1240
Joined: Nov. 6 2008
From: Sydney, Australia

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Hey Ron.. I'm so sorry to hear that.. I know it must be devastating to you.. and only you would know it feel to be you right now..
There's nothing I can say or do to make your spirit lift..
But in the 2-3 years I've been here. I've known that you are a sane voice in all the shouting and craziness that comes up someitmes.. and I know that in that sane voice, you would be able to tell yourself what to do..

advise yourself as tho it was a good friend going thru what you are feeling right now. and you'll know what to do..

*hug* I really hope that you will get better.,.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 6:40:06
 
Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: My baby left me (in reply to HolyEvil

takes longer for men to fall but when they do its harder...its like women have a freaking secret course on how to deal with it ....they fine the next week, out shopping and having lunch with girlfriends, making new friends, socializing, it hurts them too but they are much much better at accepting it and moving on....they are really good at keeping their mind occupied...which is something we should be learning from them...but instead we chosse to stay indors, feel sorry for ourselfs etc

while the guy is miserable, drinking, self destructive, not eating, a shadow of his former self for months and years, refusing to accept it, and making excuses for her (if its her fault)..WTF ??

see Ron u not alone mate, its the same for all of us...first thing ...stop making excuses for her to yourself...she did you wrong


sorry Ron if this is not what u wanna hear atm...its a tricky situation, hard to know the right thing to say ( i know we wanna hear, she will come back)....so i am just gonna say it...sometimes we don't wanna hear certain things at this time (correct me if anything upsets you)......but the sooner u accept shes not your "baby" anymore the sooner u stop making excuses for her and thinking of the goodtimes u shared together, which is natural btw, we all do it...the sooner your mind will get in a better position to deal with this f*ed situation


i know its a little simplistic but love and heart brake is something we do to ourselfs by oursefls...in our mind...when we chose think about it over and over in a certain way..we choose to fall inlove by chosing to thinking about it and romanticizing about it in our head in a certain way...why do people fall out of love ? because they chose to think about it the other way...or they chose to think about other people

your baby wouldn't do this to you after 33 years togheder...wouldn't leave you like this

_____________________________

  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 6:47:26
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