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Richard Jernigan -> RE: My baby left me (Nov. 17 2011 23:59:15)
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Ron-
I am a very fortunate man. I love Scotch whisky. I have a bit of a taste for tequila and gin as well. I enjoy a glass of wine...or three or four. But if I drink too much, it makes me feel bad, and I lay off it for a while. As I said, I'm a lucky man.
The best boss I ever had, my mentor in my career, eventually one of my very best friends, was not so lucky. He and his wife divorced, messily. He fell out with his children who were at university. When I asked him why, he smiled ruefully and said, "Probably because I phoned them up too many times when I was drunk."
His mother, whom his father found impossible to get along with, clung to life for nearly a year until she could die on Christmas day. One of the children told me she thought it was done out of spite.
My friend and I used to like to drink together. But bit by bit the whisky got the best of him. He would disappear for a day or two, and reappear looking like Death warmed over. He was one of the founders of a very successful company, the one that led the way for Austin to become a center of high tech. He had to be relieved of his Vice-Presidency because of the booze. Soon he was out of work altogether.
He had plenty of money to live on, but he sank lower and lower. Eventually though, he began to pull out of it. Probably at his daughter's insistence he joined a therapy group. I'm not sure how much good the therapy did him, but there he met and fell in love with a younger woman.
He got off the bottle, but had a few relapses. After two or three years though, he was off the booze completely and never went back. He returned to work, and found his niche in the company he helped to start. He ran the internally funded research and development projects. He was a scientific genius and a true gentleman. He was the binding force for the outstanding technical people.
He and his new love married. He retired from the company and they bought a farm east of Austin. His father was a PhD biologist, and he had always had a great love for and interest in plants and animals. They turned the farm into a showplace. She developed a herd of prime Angus cattle.
Once he said to me, "You know what's great about this farm? There's something that absolutely has to be done every single day."
He passed away last February at age 85. He had a full and happy life for about thirty years after he recovered from his life plowing into the ditch and the booze getting the best of him.
His funeral was a celebration of a life well lived. He was admired by all who knew him.
I PM'ed you once about a period of darkness in my own experience. I've been back out in the sunlight for 25 or more years myself. I'm happier than at any other time in my life. Now I look forward to every new day.
Hang in there. The spirit can be resilient. Life can be good after it has been as bad as you can possibly imagine. And you're not alone: look at the friends you have here.
RNJ
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