The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread

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guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread

OK guys time to fess up.....

We all have gags so stupid that they always make US laugh and with which we boorishly torture our victims in the pub.

Here is my all time favourite;

Q) What is blue and goes bedoing?

A) A blue bedoinger.

BEAT THAT !!!!!!

d.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:06:34

Sr. Martins

Posts: 3079
Joined: Apr. 4 2011

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to guitarbuddha)

Two kids in the street:

One has a soccer ball, the other is called Antonio.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:17:11

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to Sr. Martins)

What's white and comes in pints ........ milk.

What's grey and comes in pints..... and elephant.

D.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:21:52

Leñador

Posts: 5237
Joined: Jun. 8 2012
From: Los Angeles

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to guitarbuddha)

Am I just too American to understand these??....

What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:25:23

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to Leñador)

What's black and white and fukcs horses........ a black and white horse.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:27:03

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to Leñador)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lenador

Am I just too American to understand these??....

Not at all a good bad joke is like a stillborn child. It may die on delivery but we who produced it love it nonetheless.

D.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:28:31

Leñador

Posts: 5237
Joined: Jun. 8 2012
From: Los Angeles

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to guitarbuddha)

quote:

Not at all a good bad joke is like a stillborn child. It may die on delivery but we who produced it love it nonetheless.

Was that Confucius?

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:33:44

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to Leñador)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lenador

Was that Confucius?

You mean 'Did that confuse us ?'

Well, you tell me.

(just cant get the knack of young people and this textspeak and whatnot they have nowadays)

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:35:59

El Kiko

Posts: 2697
Joined: Jun. 7 2010
From: The South Ireland

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to guitarbuddha)

A Man walks into a bar ...........

He says ...''Ouch !...''

It was an Iron bar ........

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:36:05

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to El Kiko)

quote:

ORIGINAL: El Kiko

A Man walks into a bar ...........

He says ...''Ouch !...''

It was an Iron bar ........

YAY

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:38:02

Leñador

Posts: 5237
Joined: Jun. 8 2012
From: Los Angeles

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to guitarbuddha)

quote:

A Man walks into a bar ...........

He says ...''Ouch !...''

It was an Iron bar ........

I heard that differently,

Three men walk into a bar, you'd have thought the third one would duck.

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:42:28

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to Leñador)

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head. Cliff.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:43:11

estebanana

Posts: 9826
Joined: Oct. 16 2009

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to guitarbuddha)

*groans, sips coffee, groans again*

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:44:47

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to estebanana)

Mmmmm coffee and donuts.

You know how Bob Marley likes his donuts,,,,,,, 'wi jamm in'

Do you like them like that Stephen ?

I hope you like jam in too.

D.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:46:26

El Kiko

Posts: 2697
Joined: Jun. 7 2010
From: The South Ireland

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to Leñador)

Advent Calenders ........

Their Days are numbered .

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:51:35

Escribano

Posts: 6447
Joined: Jul. 6 2003
From: England, living in Italy

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to El Kiko)

A limbless guy in a pile of leaves? Russell. Same guy in a swimming pool. Bob.

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:58:02

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to El Kiko)

True story. Once met a girl at a party who was an Avian Anthropologist. She was doing a PHD on the Tern (pronounced turn, that's important).

Naturally after only a brief time in my company she found me boorish and pronounced 'I hate puns !!' Then she continued on about her project on an Island off the coast of Scotland looking at Terns.

Now I was not as bored as you might have been as I have notably low standards. After some time, during a lull in her exposition I asked her this question.

'Have you ever seen an arctic Tern ?'

to which she replied 'No.'

My follow up question

'Do you think you could drive a lorry ?'

..........

We haven't spoken since.

D.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 22:58:15

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to Escribano)

Whats the difference between Brigitte Bardot and Margaret Thatcher ?

Well when they were young they were both breathtakingly beautiful.......except for Margaret Thatcher.

What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Pamela Smith ?
Well Margaret Thatcher was the first female premier of a western democracy......and Pamela Smith is my cousin.

D.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 23:02:01

El Kiko

Posts: 2697
Joined: Jun. 7 2010
From: The South Ireland

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to guitarbuddha)

well heres a true story as well

I went into a train station and at the ticket counter said
''I want to buy a return ticket''

''Where to..? .. said the man ..

'well , back here of course ....''

I just couldn't resist it ...the man dint think it was witty at all.........

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 23:09:24

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to El Kiko)

The master at work.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 3 2013 23:11:30

n85ae

Posts: 877
Joined: Sep. 7 2006

[Deleted]

Post has been moved to the Recycle Bin at Oct. 4 2013 2:22:44

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 4 2013 2:21:42

Guest

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to guitarbuddha)

What's orange and sounds like a parrot

A carrot

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 4 2013 2:35:15

Leñador

Posts: 5237
Joined: Jun. 8 2012
From: Los Angeles

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to guitarbuddha)

quote:

The master at work.

That's definitely NOT the Apollo theatre in New York lol

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 4 2013 3:26:30

mark indigo

Posts: 3639
Joined: Dec. 5 2007

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to El Kiko)

quote:

A Man walks into a bar ...........

He says ...''Ouch !...''

It was an Iron bar ........

did you hear about the dyslexic man who walked into a bra?

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 4 2013 9:00:22

mark indigo

Posts: 3639
Joined: Dec. 5 2007

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to guitarbuddha)

quote:

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head. Cliff.

what do you call a man lying in a bog?
Pete

what do you call a man with a spade in his head?
Doug

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 4 2013 9:02:08

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to mark indigo)

ADIS, don't die of dyslexia.

D.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 4 2013 9:20:28

estebanana

Posts: 9826
Joined: Oct. 16 2009

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to guitarbuddha)

Have you met the new girl at school? She has one leg, let me introduce Ilean.

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 4 2013 13:26:29

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to estebanana)

You do like jammin !!

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 4 2013 13:33:00

Morante

Posts: 2333
Joined: Nov. 21 2010

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to guitarbuddha)

Un día. un hombre desnudo andaba por la selva. De repente se topó con un gran elefante. Pensaba "ahora muero yo!". Pero el elefante le miró y dijo "Quillo, con ésta trompeta tan pequeña no va a coger mucha hierba".

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 4 2013 15:14:52

Guest

RE: The Incredibly Stupid Gag Thread (in reply to guitarbuddha)