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RE: Forum Etiquette
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 RE: Forum Etiquette (in reply to Kate)
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Hola Kate
You are quite right. I stopped posting for the same reason as you, after speaking with Estela.
But Ron is right in saying that it takes 2 2 tango. Though I wouldn't mind if "he turned up at my door like a Jehovahs witness" 
Y Olé Florian.
Suerte
Sean
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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |
Date Jan. 16 2009 6:44:08
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Exitao
Posts: 907
Joined: Mar. 13 2006
From: Vancouver, Canada
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RE: Forum Etiquette (in reply to Kate)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kate
quote:
ORIGINAL: Pimientito
We have a situation now where at least 2 respected forum members will no longer post for fear of being immediately attacked. This has nothing to due with any viewpoint but simply personal vendettas against the members themselves.
Well said Pimiento. I stopped posting when I was told that my posts could be considered goading, that somehow simply by speaking up and defending someone I was adding fuel to the fire. I had had to watch a good friend and respected flamenco being insulted and slandered and read a load of bull about how it was in Spain from some-one who appeared to know nothing. Of course I had to defend my friend but I would have defended anyone under these circumstances. I was waiting for some-one to stand up and say enough, this has gone far enough and wont be tolerated. Jacinto even crowed that he would continue to retaliate whenever her name was mentioned. Without doubt this is the work of a bully. Estela also read these posts and made a decision not to post for fear the forum would just spontanously combust into acrimony and vitriol. Quite frankly we both have better things to be doing with our lives.
"Amser, boneddigion. Amser, diolch yn fawr"
Here's the thing. Ron (the Admin) had already told Jacinto to stop. And let's not use euphemisms please. Jacinto had apparently desisted, or had at least not commented on your 'friend' again, and you come back wanting to argue.
Like the other guy said, it takes two to [argentine] tango. He was cautioned, and you wanted to argue while he's not allowed to keep going.
Maybe it wasn't your intent to goad, but if you and your brother are fighting and your mom tells you not to talk to your brother, and then he starts saying/doing things to get a reaction from you, what would you call this?
(And yes, Ron, you're the mom in this analogy, nice apron BTW.)
When an admin does give a warning, ALL parties should heed it. It's not an invitation to win your argument in your opponent's forced absence.
_____________________________
Callidus et iracundus.
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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |
Date Jan. 16 2009 8:21:40
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Kate
Posts: 1827
Joined: Jul. 8 2003
From: Living in Granada, Andalucía
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RE: Forum Etiquette (in reply to Exitao)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Exitao
And let's not use euphemisms please.
 I have no idea what you are referring to.
quote:
Jacinto had apparently desisted, or had at least not commented on your 'friend' again, and you come back wanting to argue.
What thread were you reading ? He made loads of very specific comments about Estela after Ron's request. And no my intention was not to argue. My last post on that thread was to try and keep the record straight about Estela's reputation and achievements here in Spain, to keep a balance somehow in the face of his comments.
quote:
It's not an invitation to win your argument in your opponent's forced absence.
There was no forced absence, Jacinto did not miss a beat. Neither was I continuing to argue with him, my post was not directed at Jacinto, I am never going to change his mind about Estela. I posted so everyone else, should they wish, could see other references to Estela's work and accomplishments.
Meanwhile if Admin wants to admonish me they can say so themselves. It is not your place to do so.
Florian began this thread so we could discuss these issues, and I have a right to join in and say how I feel about them. but here you are telling me off like I am some sort of schoolgirl causing trouble in the playground.
I have no tolerance for bullies, and while it is good advice to walk away sometimes you just got to stand up to them. And right now that includes you, so get off my back !
_____________________________
Emilio Maya Temple
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B000CA6OBC
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/emiliomaya
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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |
Date Jan. 16 2009 9:57:37
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Exitao
Posts: 907
Joined: Mar. 13 2006
From: Vancouver, Canada
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RE: Forum Etiquette (in reply to Kate)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kate
quote:
Jacinto had apparently desisted, or had at least not commented on your 'friend' again, and you come back wanting to argue.
What thread were you reading ? He made loads of very specific comments about Estela after Ron's request. And no my intention was not to argue. My last post on that thread was to try and keep the record straight about Estela's reputation and achievements here in Spain, to keep a balance somehow in the face of his comments.
quote:
It's not an invitation to win your argument in your opponent's forced absence.
There was no forced absence, Jacinto did not miss a beat. Neither was I continuing to argue with him, my post was not directed at Jacinto, I am never going to change his mind about Estela. I posted so everyone else, should they wish, could see other references to Estela's work and accomplishments.
In the thread I'm referring to, Ron made his speech about about playing the ball, not the player. Jacinto continued to make 3 or 4 posts before you replied, but he had stopped talking about Estella (whoever she is when she's at home, as if I care, unless she's your mom or your Sgt., no one deserves that much loyalty).
If the Admin admonished people more often, and strictly, things would not have progressed as badly as they did. Yes, I'm sorry, this is a criticism, we need stronger modding.
I treated you like a schoolgirl because that's how I perceived it. I read Ron admonish and vaguely threaten. I observed Jacinto desisted (without further comment, which appeared to be him following instructions), and then I read you continue to argue.
Take a step back, imagine yourself as a spectator who doesn't understand or care about what you guys are going on about, and then imagine what your impression would be.
You would see one person apparently stopping, and the other person continuing to argue. I don't see any other way to read it.
If you want a conversation to end, you have to stop talking.
Unless your intent is to win or force the other person to continue behaving in a way that gets them banned.
I'm not telling you off. I'm stating my case in no uncertain terms. If you feel like a school girl, that's not my intent. As I fail to see how I could express myself otherwise, I'm not sure it's my concern. I'm not emotionally invested in this, but it seems that you are and I don't know you well enough to calm you down, so I stick to reason.
I just want for there to be a chance for things to cool down.
_____________________________
Callidus et iracundus.
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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |
Date Jan. 16 2009 11:27:11
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Exitao
Posts: 907
Joined: Mar. 13 2006
From: Vancouver, Canada
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RE: Forum Etiquette (in reply to Florian)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Florian
I understand what you are saying Extiao but also consider you are seeing it unaffected and as a spectator..as i said before...its eazy to be cool when its someone else its happening to.
She was personally in the midlle of the situation...weather she was right or wrong its irellevant..
put yourself in her shoes for a second...u are furious in a midlle of an argument with someone who going at you and then someone who isnt directly affected by it and calm, is telling you to quiet down..because its disturbing his forum experience..
telling someone who is angry about something to calm down dosent work i been saying it for years...u have to listen and make an effort or atlist pretend to care
See, I don't care who's right or wrong. I just wanted the fighting done with.
I recognise people get heated. Crap, I used to have huge anger management issues. However, as I get older, I realise that for the sake of social harmony, it doesn't matter who is right, and most of the time people don't really care.
Often, even when you win, no one cares.
Ron:
I think temp bans can be a good idea. When people get too heated, a 48 or 72 hour time-out can really help people get a check on their rage. Call it an enforced cease-fire, if you will.
If it's for other types of problems, being away from the forums may make people realise the value of the forum if they miss it, and inspire better, nicer, kinder and environmentally friendlier behaviour.
_____________________________
Callidus et iracundus.
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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |
Date Jan. 16 2009 13:26:37
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..i can allready read the threads you will post on saturday.. 
didnt you threaten me with an knife in the other thread ...said that if i didnt introduce you to my mom u hope the horse eats my fingers when i give him an apple ?