Foro Flamenco
Posts Since Last Visit | Advanced Search | Home | Register | Login

Today's Posts | Inbox | Profile | Our Rules | Contact Admin | Log Out



Welcome to one of the most active flamenco sites on the Internet. Guests can read most posts but if you want to participate click here to register.
This site is dedicated to the memory of Paco de Lucía, Ron Mitchell, Guy Williams, Linda Elvir, Philip John Lee and Craig Eros who went ahead of us too soon.
We receive 12,200 visitors a month from 200 countries and 1.7 million page impressions a year. To advertise on this site please contact us.





why is it....?   You are logged in as Guest
Users viewing this topic: none
  Printable Version
All Forums >>Discussions >>General >> Page: [1]
Login
Message<< Newer Topic  Older Topic >>
 
pink

Posts: 570
Joined: Jan. 8 2013
 

why is it....? 

Why is it so difficult for people to accept an apology on forums?
I've noticed that its really common for people to adopt some sort of personal moral high ground when disagreements happen, often when an apology has been publicly made to them as a result of the original misunderstanding/disagreement/whatever ....and even when an apology should have been forthcoming from both parties not just one.
You get the '' totally blank '' that member's comments scenario ,often when there may have been a ' humbled ' effort to put things right directed straight at them previously, or ,a pistols at dawn/leather glove facial slap ''mo/fo I'm gonna disagree with you no matter what'' vibe.
What's the score here? Has anyone else noticed this?( I'd say yes) but does anyone else think it matters or is it not a point of issue at all....these things just happen and that's it?
I'm not looking for comments on specific past issues ,just a generalisation on what people reckon?

Best

pink

NB: No sobbing ,due to past events ,was done during the writing of this post!!
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 12 2014 18:12:38
 
guitarbuddha

 

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007
 

RE: why is it....? (in reply to pink

Pink my man don't be jealous .......but......... some of us are perfect.



D.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 12 2014 19:13:54
 
pink

Posts: 570
Joined: Jan. 8 2013
 

RE: why is it....? (in reply to guitarbuddha

D
This ,as you already know ....having claim to the ''perfect ''gene by birth....was never aimed at you!!
Still love you...all the way my friend!!
X


Best and better

pinky
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 12 2014 19:19:58
 
mark indigo

 

Posts: 3354
Joined: Dec. 5 2007
 

RE: why is it....? (in reply to pink

quote:

Why is it so difficult for people to accept an apology on forums?


I didn't know people did apologise on forums....

_____________________________

  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 12 2014 19:43:05
 
pink

Posts: 570
Joined: Jan. 8 2013
 

RE: why is it....? (in reply to mark indigo

I have.

Best

pink


P.S. its not about me.....yes a guitarist did say that!!!
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 12 2014 19:46:01
 
guitarbuddha

 

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007
 

RE: why is it....? (in reply to pink

To accept an apology graciously one must accept the decency of the person offering it and recognise them as an equal and worthy of respect.

This would also force you to admit that you have some shared responsibility for the way an argument developed.

So you would have to question your own methods and behavior and, most difficult, motivation.

I apologise all the time, as is the lot of the clumsy man. And I can think of three separate occasions where three different members of this foro accepted my apologies graciously.

I assume that on the occasions where an apology was brushed aside or ignored the recipient was 'perfect' as detailed in my previous post.

Now I may be deluded there but I rest assured that I am not the only one.

D.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 12 2014 21:36:34
 
Sr. Martins

Posts: 3077
Joined: Apr. 4 2011
 

RE: why is it....? (in reply to pink

Penis.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 12 2014 21:41:44

ToddK

 

Posts: 2960
Joined: Dec. 6 2004
 

RE: why is it....? (in reply to Sr. Martins

quote:

Penis.


Absolutely..

_____________________________

  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 12 2014 21:44:17
 
pink

Posts: 570
Joined: Jan. 8 2013
 

RE: why is it....? (in reply to ToddK

quote:

ORIGINAL: ToddK

quote:

Penis.


Absolutely..



That's more like it........thus accompanied by the two b.ollocks I'd look down and hope to see.

Best

pink
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 12 2014 22:05:47
 
aeolus

Posts: 765
Joined: Oct. 30 2009
From: Mier

RE: why is it....? (in reply to pink

quote:

Penis.


yeah, things have gotten really slow around here.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 12 2014 22:35:24
 
Ruphus

Posts: 3782
Joined: Nov. 18 2010
 

RE: why is it....? (in reply to pink

And yet it could be worse.

In our common ground are included many of the insights made over the philosophical course of past ~ 2500 years.

Things that had yet to be explored by Sokrates and his followers, like subjectivity versus objectivity or the opportunity of observing oneself, are inlcuded in our associative and semantical standards. - Even if only few are aware and value the achievement.

There are other cultures that have not been there. Histories which in place of systematics of evaluation developed behavioural escape from dispute ( formal shock absorbers if you want). Deeming avoidance of discussion as high goal, not clearance.
With no routine of approaching objectivity. Equalling emotion with ratio, or opinion / belief with knowledge / entity.
Hence hardly prepared to clear yet the simplest / most obvious circumstances.

Consequently, hindered with making out bone of contention and from there focussing instead on the opponent´s personality ( lost relevance of "who" instead of "what").


Considering how much worse it can be, I embrace the size of objective measure in western discussion, even though having been discretely dissatisfied with it ever since.
Sure, there could be more education on the merits of controversy and about the misconception of passive harmony, but all in all there is progress with pragmatism.
-

What I see more cirtical than the objective measure is the desease of envy.
A primitive rudiment that is strongly re-appearing from unwashed shore and infesting the people.
Destructive envy everywhere. Even among close friends and siblings.

The generosity of granting where due, having become an edelweiss.
A status of embarrassing emotional low-brow.

Ruphus
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 13 2014 9:25:22
 
Ricardo

Posts: 13344
Joined: Dec. 14 2004
From: Washington DC

RE: why is it....? (in reply to pink

quote:

Why is it so difficult for people to accept an apology on forums?


This is because the internet is NOT the real world. It is dominated by nerds and geeks who feel entitled to equal footing and status as their tough guy macho counterparts of the real world, and go further to enjoy bullying and such in this "safe" environment behind the computer screen. One has no recourse but to learn the rules and "beat em at their own game" so to speak. Adapt, move forward.


Ricardo

_____________________________

CD's and transcriptions available here:
www.ricardomarlow.com
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 13 2014 15:49:51
 
El Kiko

Posts: 2697
Joined: Jun. 7 2010
From: The South Ireland

RE: why is it....? (in reply to pink

I think its because you dont have to .....why should you ?
You dont have to do anything , do you ?
some people really dont think about you and insult you without caring what you say or maybe even understanding it .
So of the 600,000,000 people online off and on why depress yourself over one user who insults you and then writes some kind of vague apology that you have to read between the lines to get and only to insult you again at a not so later date , best just put them on ignore and move on with your fantastic life and all the best things in it .

_____________________________

Don't trust Atoms.....they make up everything.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 13 2014 15:59:00
 
pink

Posts: 570
Joined: Jan. 8 2013
 

RE: why is it....? (in reply to pink

I've had a real problem with embracing the internet ....I'm a bit old school when it comes to communication....I like the face to face bit,personal touch,whites of eyes ,read the fellow human in front of you .....blah blah blah......
Don't get me wrong, I'm still capable of being a totally inappropriate f luck pig and am full of my own self importance and have reached an age where I'm often right ....but more overly wrong!!
But although in that sort of situation...ie being wrong I still find it hard to just hide behind a screen and not admit it....I just can't do it. Its wrong, doesn't compute. If I've offended and know it I'll try and put it right....if I've offended and not realised , I want to know , so I can put it right.
Not sure if its relevant to what happens a million times a day on line but to me I think it matters.
Just what I think I guess.
Am liking the replies .... thanks from a penis....as suggested by two testicles and Co 'members' pun pun

Best

pink

Edit.
This is the only forum I've ever looked at or joined....am I a sad sack of s.hite or just a sack of s.hite?!!
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 13 2014 17:12:17
 
El Kiko

Posts: 2697
Joined: Jun. 7 2010
From: The South Ireland

RE: why is it....? (in reply to pink

i'm really easy to get along with , ....once you people learn to see things my way ,,

_____________________________

Don't trust Atoms.....they make up everything.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 13 2014 17:32:24
 
pink

Posts: 570
Joined: Jan. 8 2013
 

RE: why is it....? (in reply to El Kiko

quote:

ORIGINAL: El Kiko

i'm really easy to get along with , ....once you people learn to see things my way ,,


Ahh , the way of the Kiko.....you share it so well!!

Best

pink
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 13 2014 17:48:33
 
Ruphus

Posts: 3782
Joined: Nov. 18 2010
 

RE: why is it....? (in reply to pink

In the moment I can´t find a headline to show you, but just yesterday there was in the German news how prejustice against the virtual world has been proven as just such.
People not becoming isolated / unsocial computer nerds; some games even turning out supportive for skills. Etc.

Before spreading of PCs I belonged to those who would not expect much from computers. I thought more or less like "calculators, so what!?"
Even when the internet became accessible for everyone, I did not understand its actual potential and possible relevance to us, as after all an informative species.

My todays take about internet communication is that it is priceless and probably the best means for information and support to democracy ever. Even with its weak point of opinion as apparent facts / a requirement to learn how to use it.

And what etiquette is concerned, my impression is that we are progressively getting better at it, with many understanding the challenge of virtually behaving like in life. Understanding the gift of being network across the globe and of instantly or even real-time exchanging ideas and knowledge.

If used constructively the computer represents a lovely complex tool for text, audio, graphics and meanwhile even 3D production that by far exceeds what I once would had even dreamed of. And the means of research and communication (, meanwhile even including video conference or remote home guarding for almost free) are just fantastic.

Who be left biased against this technology in good use, must realize that it likely is about ordinary resentment based on matter of inflexibility with age.


Man, how I remember my international communication of many years ago. Typing letters, bringing them to the post office and having them delivered within 3 to 4 weeks.
Getting your reply in two months or so.
Calling another continent at 5 expensive dollars or more per minute.

Or standing in the dark room and waisting budgets for often not so great photographic works.

Or the headaches with getting something multi tracked ... and so on.

And I recall my first encounter with a digital pocket calculator, in a stores display on Paris airport.
Love on first sight.
But merely four fundamental operations of arithmetics at a price of nearly 400 francs.

These days you get them thrown after you when you miss out on closing the door while leaving the room.

Ruphus
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Jan. 14 2014 9:35:34
Page:   [1]
All Forums >>Discussions >>General >> Page: [1]
Jump to:

New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts


Forum Software powered by ASP Playground Advanced Edition 2.0.5
Copyright © 2000 - 2003 ASPPlayground.NET

4.492188E-02 secs.