My Brother

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My Brother

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guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

My Brother

I have always had a pretty challenging relationship with my brother. And it must be said that I have occasionally been pretty free with invective concerning him. Often whilst getting drunk with a shared friend.

Yet at even the mildest slight in his direction from an acquaintance I feel my hackles rise.

Is this because I am a hypocrite ?
Or is it because the new guy...... well ....he ain't my brother ?

D.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Jun. 5 2013 11:06:53

estebanana

Posts: 7935
Joined: Oct. 16 2009

RE: My Brother (in reply to guitarbuddha)

quote:

have always had a pretty challenging relationship with my brother. And it must be said that I have occasionally been pretty free with invective concerning him. Often whilst getting drunk with a shared friend.

Yet at even the mildest slight in his direction from an acquaintance I feel my hackles rise.

Is this because I am a hypocrite ?
Or is it because the new guy...... well ....he ain't my brother ?

I thought this might flow better as one paragraph:

I have always had a challenging relationship with my brother, I am free with invective concerning him. Often whilst getting drunk with a friend he and I have in common. Yet at even the mildest slight in his direction from an acquaintance I feel my hackles rise. Is this because I am a hypocrite, or is it because the new guy is not my brother ?

Hee hee I messed with your sentences!

I have the same relationship with all of my four sisters as you have with your brother. We can tease each other as much as we want, but when someone else talks poorly about one of the girls I get defensive. I would never think of myself as a hypocrite for this way of being. I have an openly adversarial relationship with one sister in particular, we are highly competitive. We attended college together and competed for attention and validation from a cross section of students who we had over lapping friend relationships with. Her friends were my friends, we competed for attention from people because she began at the college a year before me, then I breezed in and tried to make friends with people she had had existing relationships with. At the time it caused some tensions between my sister and I, and we had harsh words in public once or twice. However if I over heard a guy talking about her in the cafeteria in a manner I did not like I was ready to beat his ass into next Tuesday.

I think it's perfectly natural to be protective of a sibling, and as a sibling you have a complex competitive set of emotional gears to shift through that you don't have with non siblings. That means you may not always be outwardly kind to one another, but treat each other roughly because you know the interior of the sibling in a way a non sibling never would or could.

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Jun. 5 2013 12:44:56

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: My Brother (in reply to estebanana)

quote:

ORIGINAL: estebanana

I thought this might flow better as one paragraph:

I have always had a challenging relationship with my brother, I am free with invective concerning him. Often whilst getting drunk with a friend he and I have in common. Yet at even the mildest slight in his direction from an acquaintance I feel my hackles rise. Is this because I am a hypocrite, or is it because the new guy is not my brother ?

How kind of you to hoist me on YOUR own petard.

quote:

ORIGINAL: estebanana

Hee hee I messed with your sentences!

And also my meaning. Which is fine. I prefer fresh ideas to be enthusiastically expressed in online communication. Too much self consciousnes ostentation often curdles them. That has never been what I wanted.

I enjoyed the bulk of your post. I once dropped a guy who was about to stab my brother. We still managed to have an argument later.

D.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Jun. 5 2013 13:18:01

Ruphus

Posts: 3782
Joined: Nov. 18 2010

RE: My Brother (in reply to guitarbuddha)

If you don´t mind me spoiling your thread with negativity, GB.

My brother crossed the river 21 years back now.
And last time I have been cringing about the vacancy has been a week ago.

Simon & Garfunkel have a passage that goes like: "He was my brother!"
Can´t hear that beautiful old song without associating.

Embrace him, GB.

Ruphus

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Jun. 5 2013 13:37:33

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: My Brother (in reply to Ruphus)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ruphus

If you don´t mind me spoiling your thread with negativity, GB.

My brother crossed the river 21 years back now.
And last time I have been cringing about the vacancy has been a week ago.

Simon & Garfunkel have a passage that goes like: "He was my brother!"
Can´t hear that beautiful old song without associating.

Embrace him, GB.

Ruphus

All, earnest sentiments are welcome Ruphus. Thank you for the well meaning caution.

Have you seen 'The Straight Story' by director David Lynch ? I think it is his most earnest and direct work.

It must be a hard man indeed who can spend a whole life denying kinship and not feel guilt.

D.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Jun. 5 2013 13:43:07

estebanana

Posts: 7935
Joined: Oct. 16 2009

RE: My Brother (in reply to guitarbuddha)

quote:

How kind of you to hoist me on YOUR own petard.

My pleasure, brother.

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Jun. 5 2013 13:44:12

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: My Brother (in reply to estebanana)

quote:

ORIGINAL: estebanana

quote:

How kind of you to hoist me on YOUR own petard.

My pleasure, brother.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Jun. 5 2013 13:44:40

Escribano

Posts: 6072
Joined: Jul. 6 2003
From: England, living in Italy

RE: My Brother (in reply to guitarbuddha)

I have a similar thing going on with my sister. She thinks an IQ of 100 is really, really good like (100 out of 100), that her having children is worthy of a Nobel prize and it is just plain stupid not borrow to the maximum and beyond. No savings, no pension, no equity and she works in Financial Services.

Her gifts are so tacky and cheap that they go straight to the charity shop.

But... she is my sister and I only have the one so I would defend her to the last

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Jun. 5 2013 13:56:27

Ruphus

Posts: 3782
Joined: Nov. 18 2010

RE: My Brother (in reply to guitarbuddha)

quote:

ORIGINAL: guitarbuddha

All, earnest sentiments are welcome Ruphus. Thank you for the well meaning caution.

Have you seen 'The Straight Story' by director David Lynch ? I think it is his most earnest and direct work.

It must be a hard man indeed who can spend a whole life denying kinship and not feel guilt.

D.

Unfortunately, don´t know that movie.

However, I am in the same time who in ways can deny kinship with my sisters.
They have been full of envy all of their lives, with the glue been merely the intensional suppressing and emotional one-way street of me and my old lady.

When my old lady passed away and my sisters suppressed over 80% of my inheritage, things became too blatant for any more of romatic fancying.

They do not exist anymore in my emotional life, and the surprising thing with the new situation is that I do not miss them for one second. What I miss is the condition once fancied to be.

What remains is that if there is a true bound siblings can be a unique chap, but other than that:
Siblings must not be friends inevitably, and your brothers and sisters mustn´t be genetically related either.

( When at high scholl we hhad two Japanese sibling brothers who hated each other. First thelike case for me, and it shocked me to see. I found it incredible.
Little did I know.

When you see modern surveys and studies on the sibling matter you actually come to appreciate parents who manage to bring their kids up truely solidary with each other.

Ruphus

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Jun. 5 2013 14:01:41

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: My Brother (in reply to Escribano)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Escribano

I have a similar thing going on with my sister. She thinks an IQ of 100 is really, really good like (100 out of 100), that her having children is worthy of a Nobel prize and it is just plain stupid not borrow to the maximum and beyond. No savings, no pension, no equity and she works in Financial Services.

Her gifts are so tacky and cheap that they go straight to the charity shop.

But... she is my sister and I only have the one so I would defend her to the last

Wow that sounds a lot like my sister.

And she keeps telling me that she has learned to be someone else, perhaps from a book by Gillian McKeith, and that from now on everything will be different. And that's the thing that drives me away from her, the hungry look in her eyes searching for approval.

She seems to believe that convincing me she has become a different person will make it true. She thinks I can't accept her but that in not the case, it is she who cannot accept herself. Therefore she hides behind increasingly ridiculous narratives . I want her to accept the truth of herself so that she can begin to bear that in mind when contemplating the next crazy decision.

Pretending to be seven feet tall wont help her slam dunk, no matter what Oprah Winfrey says.

D.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Jun. 5 2013 14:27:54

pink

Posts: 570
Joined: Jan. 8 2013

RE: My Brother (in reply to guitarbuddha)

Hi GB,
Just been reading your thread and you have taken me back to the early seventies you made me think of this...........

Not trying to belittle any of what's been written thought I'd share a blast from the past!!
Best regards
pink

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Jun. 5 2013 17:19:55

guitarbuddha

Posts: 2970
Joined: Jan. 4 2007

RE: My Brother (in reply to pink)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pink

Hi GB,
Just been reading your thread and you have taken me back to the early seventies you made me think of this...........

Not trying to belittle any of what's been written thought I'd share a blast from the past!!
Best regards
pink