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Anders, I’m very sorry to hear this. I can’t imagine what this experience is must be like for you, but from what I’ve gotten to know about you here on the Foro, you strike me as the sort of guy who can weather the grief and pain of this loss and come out a stronger man for it.
A close friend of mine died last year, just a few months short of his fiftieth birthday, someone who was a bright, burning ball of the most positive energy I’ve ever encountered. A cancer snuck up and tore through him in a matter of months, and that was that. A year and a half later I still think about him every day, and all I can really do is just shake my head and say ‘God damn it’, helpless to understand why someone like that has his life taken away from him so prematurely, and just plain sad at the loss. I don’t think the sadness will ever leave, but I can still feel the energy he gave off, and can feel how fortunate I am to have had him in my life.
My deepest condolences Anders... Words are never enough... ' when you are sorrowful look again in your heart, And you will see that in truth You are weeping for that which has been your delight' Kahil Gibran
It has been quite touching to find and read through this thread. My feelings are with you, Anders; the more as I see you as a rare kind of personalities of integrity and adorable honesty.
Only somewhat easing is the thought that - as Adam remarked above already - you will likely handle the loss more rational than me, who seems kind of unable to overcome the passing of beloved spirits yet after years and decades.
Life goes on, and those gone certainly wouldn´t want one to be living in grief for too long.
My condolences Anders. She seems to have had a beautiful spirit that fit perfectly with yours, and I'm sure you were both very lucky to have found each other. Our thoughts are with you.
I also want to say when the time is right for you everyone looks forward you being online on the Foro on a regular basis. I know thats not much at this moment, but you have a community here that appreciates you.
Hi Anders, it's a beautiful, but tragic sentiment you have written about your truly beautiful wife Soledad... You are fortunate to have lutherie as a vocation because the great degree of concetration required can only help you in the future as I'm sure it has over the last year or so. My deepest sorrow for your situation. Dave
Anders I can't really imagine your emotional situation as I never accompanied someone gong through a long suffering like your wife must have done. All I can say is that it really makes me sad to hear about your loss and want to thank you for your trust in this community and every member as this is something so personal that you really wouldn't have to share with an online community. Descansa en paz, Soledad.
Thanks a lot all of you. A lot of wise words that I will reread and take with me.
Yesterday sole was burnt (cremated?) and we, the family, her kids, Nimbus and I took her to her last fysical place here on planet earth. The day before she died, we kind of talked many thing through (she couldnt talk or write but she could communicate with me in other ways) I asked her where she wanted to stay after her death. She said that she wanted to be under a tree and that she wanted me to choose the spot. That was easy for me. I knew perfectly well where she should be. Underneath one of those round pines above the beach of Moguer on top of the cliffs. So there she is now. I can go there and play in peace and relax in the shade and go down and take a swim in the atlantic sea. It smells absolutely wonderfull there. lots of aromatic plants, pines and atlantic sea.
So this is the end of a story. Life continues and I will go on with my life even though it seems a bit difficult right now. I want to thank you all for your very kind ways of dealing with this. Its been a great help. Taking somethings as off topic as death to a flamenco forum hasnt been a bad idea. The photo doesnt really show the water, but its part of the greyish blue background.
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A very peaceful and beautiful spot to rest , although her spirit will always be with you. Look at Nimbus, bless the little fella. So, peace and freedom from pain for Sole. You know where we are if you need anything.
Dear Anders, I too want to express my condolences and affection. I always thought of you as a man blessed with the talent and sensitivity of a true artist, exuding the purity of a free and sincere spirit.
Your wonderful work, your artistry, each of your sculpted guitars will be the spectacular shrine where her memory will survive. And the happiness she brought into your life will not yield to the sadness of the loss, as she will always be part of you. I am sure you will find her smile as you brush that delicate coat of varnish, finishing yet another inspiring masterpiece, imbued with the immortal sound of the joy and pain you heart embroiders into your guitars.
Your openess regarding this tremendous loss has touched me deeply. I actually found this forum a couple years ago when my brother was dying from pancreatic cancer. The family-feel of this online community provided a needed feeling of companionship, especially once my brother was no longer strong enough to play his guitar with me. I am building my first guitar as a tribute to him. I only mention this, because I feel that I have noticed a beautiful change in your guitars and playing during the time of Soledad's illness. I believe this beautiful sound is a product of the unfortunate type of maturity that a tragedy provides. I wanted to post this a year ago, when you first mentioned her diagnosis, but I felt too awkward because I never post. I still feel awkward, but I thought it may help you with your grief to know that you are helping others with their grief.
Anders, I am no stranger to lost loved ones. THis time of year especially I am reminded of my father's passing 20 years ago, and usually get nostalgic and emotional. He died suddenly, but I also experienced close relatives that suffered and died too young. Music is pretty much the only way I delt with it all through the years.
There is a famous young rock guitarist who was stricken with ALS right at his rise to fame. I believe he still lives with it, a prisoner in his body, but he was lucky to keep music going. This piece he composed on guitar he could not record because of his lost ability so he highered an acappella group ( I belived under direction of Bobby McFerrin) to record his guitar piece with just voices. Its an amazing piece of music, and in my darkest times I think about people that have suffered with this illness and how any of my own problems are relatively minor in comparison, and this song really helps to bring internal peace .... at least for me. I hope it helps in some way as it does me.
Please accept my condolences, Anders. She no doubt was a remarkable woman who was fortunate to have you, just as you were fortunate to have her.
Kind regards,
Bill
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And the end of the fight is a tombstone white, With the name of the late deceased, And the epitaph drear, "A fool lies here, Who tried to hustle the East."
Your openess regarding this tremendous loss has touched me deeply.
this is true for me as well, and is true of your previous posts about your wife's illness.
my girlfriend was diagnosed with cancer last year and it's been really tough her going through treatment etc. these last months, but i still can't imagine what you have gone through losing your wife.
Cancer is a horrible dissease. BUT, depending on the kind of cancer, there´s hope. Lots of people get through a cancer and continue with their lives. My father was in treatment when he was 77 - 78. Now he´s 81 and doing very well.
To all the rest, thanks a lot...................... I really mean it. I´ve reread the whole thread and it has given me a very good feeling. For various reasons, I´ve not had the best relationship with the foro lately, but I think I´ve learned some things and this thread has done a lot to make me feel that I shall continue to be a member here.
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