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Funny Performing Experiences
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Florian
Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia
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 Funny Performing Experiences
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Since i had a not too good performance last night i tought i might start this thread so that I tell about some of the funny ones and you can tell me about yours.
Last night is too fresh in the memory and is too painfull to talk about just yet i need to let it heal first  .
But heres one that happened about 2 years ago:
Well first off the stage was too sliperry so some genius ( i wont name names  tough) He says :- " Why dont we put that white powder on stage that ballet dancers use I think is called " Roaslin" or something that sturts with R 
SO we put this stuff allover the stage the show starts 1st number is a group number with 5 dancers banging away, the white cloud of this powder lifts up in the air making a cool effect , ( me idiot thinks " OH wow wicked man , just like on tv"  ).
2 seconds lated the powder is in out mouth , our eyes, our Hands !! 
Playing with this powder on our fingers was like dipping your hands in honey and trying to play afterwoods. The musos where looking at eachother thinking " OH **** ". 
But as i later discovered that was the list of our problems, about 10 minutes into the show we had THE MOST SPECTACULAR FEEDBACK I have ever heard "feedback": dosent even do it justice the microphones had picked back the feedback and sending it back and back it had gonne into overdrive.
The Feedback lasted about 2 minutes. It was like something out of " Saving Private Ryan' when they landed on the beach my hearing was goone, i turned to my left the cajon player  has stopped playing all togheder standing there looking down and holding his hands around his ears TIGHT.
I turn to my right the other guitarist I moving his arms in the air and screaming and pointing only our hearing is goone and you cant hear a thing, all that is going trough your head is : "Oh please god make it stop! " and " AM I getting sex tonight ?"
Troughout all this there was this poor dancer on stage who didnt stop she acctualy keeped dancing trying to cover all this up (God bless her).
I didnt tell you this at the start but the soundguy was just a guitarist friend of mine who just came to see the show and i convinced him to sitt at the desk (soundguy had an accident )
I said to my friend " Domenic all you have to do is sitt at the damn desk thats all and you get free alcohool all night, cmon man what can go wrong ?"
Poor guy I remember the pain in his eyes when i looked at him from the stage (the hole crowd was giving him dirty looks).
He looked straight at me in despair and with his eyes he said "You bastard "
That's is , i am sure i made spelling mistakes but i got so excited about this storry i didnt wanna stop to double check.
I have plenty more like this one :)
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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |
Date Feb. 20 2004 2:49:50
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Jim Opfer
Posts: 1876
Joined: Jul. 19 2003
From: Glasgow, Scotland.
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 RE: Funny Performing Experiences (in reply to Florian)
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Hey Florian, that was a great read, I've got tears in my eyes laughing, I'd have to say it's a combination of the funny story and your spelling!
This is one of mine.
Ive got a dancer, a palmero/cajon and me on guitar. We call ourselves, Deseo.
We went to see this man who was putting on a big show in Glasgow. There was a lot of fuss at the door during rehersals when we arrived and we were shown through into this sitting room with a big fire and about 7-8 people all sitting around on soft comfy chairs.
There was a big dog lying on a rug in front of the fire.
About half way through our talk this big dug (scots way of saying dog) just streatched, got up, walked round in a circle and did a great almighty crap right on the rug in front of the fire. It then laid back down and fell asleep.
We were mortified and nobody said a word, they all just seemed to take it as normal!
At the end, we got up to leave as quickly as we could because by this time the smell was dreadful!
As we walked out the guy shouted, 'Hey! Deseo, are you not taking your dug?'
I said, 'It's not ours'
He looked stunned for a minute and then he shouted, 'get that ****ing dug out of hear'
and started to wallop it with a brush.
It turned out it was a stray that just wondered of the street looking for a heat and came in behind us.
Cheers
JIm.
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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |
Date Feb. 20 2004 14:26:05
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Merle
Posts: 218
Joined: Jul. 6 2003
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RE: Funny Performing Experiences (in reply to Florian)
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Many years ago, when I played alto sax in a rhythm and blues band (remember those), we were invited to compete in a “Battle of The Bands” gig, featuring 20 or so local bands.
We arrived early afternoon, found our “marked off square” to set up the drums, amps, guitars, mics, etc. Every band had it’s own “territory” to set up in. Needless to say, each band was pretty close to each other! We rehearsed the 3 songs that we were gonna play, and left while other bands set up.
We came back to the auditorium (down town Albuquerque, NM) around 6:00 pm, and the show started around 7:00. The floor was PACKED with band equipment from all kinds of different bands!
After 8 or 9 bands played their songs, we were next to play. Well, the first song “Mustang Sally” went really well, the audience applauded (about 300 or 400 people). We started our second song (which I don’t remember now, because about half way into the song all hell broke loose)!
During the second song, the drummer was pounding away, and one of his cymbals and stand started to topple over, so he sort of stood up to grab it, and when he did, the back of his legs tipped over his drum chair, which he was not aware of! Well, when he went to sit back down he FELL DOWN BACKWARDS, ARMS FLAILING AWAY, and fell into some cymbals of a band set up in back of us, and those cymbals fell to the side of another bands cymbals… which knocked over a mic (positioned to pick up the bass drum) that started a loud feedback that sounded like … well we all know how that sounds!
Someone quickly shut down the offending amp, and the whole damn place was as quiet as a mouse for about 10 seconds…then, THE WHOLE FREAKING CROWD started booing us like nothing I’ve ever heard! We got the hell outta there before they killed us!!
The event went on till about 11:00 or so that night, and there we were, the five of us waiting in our old broken down van, drinking beer, trying not to kill our drummer, until almost 2:30 in the morning, so that we could be the last to go fetch our equipment!!
We played all over the city the following year, but, we never got invited to the next “Battle of the Bands”!!
Bummer…………!!!!!!!!! You may not believe it, but, it’s a true story!!
Merle ;>)
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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |
Date Feb. 20 2004 19:30:20
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Paleto
Posts: 243
Joined: Jul. 29 2003
From: San Diego, CA
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RE: Funny Performing Experiences (in reply to Florian)
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Great stories, I was really laughing. I love these kind.
My one performance screw up happened about 1995.
When at university, I used to pracitce in a foyer outside the presidents office, it has great acoustics. He liked it when I played as he was a fan of "Spanish" guitar.
He retired just about when I graduated, probably a little after. The alumni director contacted me and asked me to play for the retirement ceremony as a surprise.
It was held at a local hotel. I sat down at the bar and drank some wine to calm the nerves, I was going to play solo for about 500 people. I don't remember what commotion there was at the bar but I spilled red wine all over the crotch of my jeans (which they had requested I wear to appear as a student).
I had to walk on and off the stage with my guitar held in front of my waist, surely they would have thought I'd p***ed my pants from the nerves.
Not nearly as funny as some other stories, but performance brings some risk.
Anyone ever accidentally let one out near a mike? (I hear Segovia did that, got up, left the stage, then returned after a couple minutes).
My friend took a BIG spill off a stool, hit another chair, then hit the floor. Must have been embarrasing as hell. He kept moving toward the edge of the stage without knowing it, then suddenly, off he went.
Anthony
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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |
Date Feb. 25 2004 23:30:24
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