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Hi there, I have been giving my blanca a steady diet of Top Ramen and sometimes I add some spring onions or crack an edd in it while the broth is hot. Even though this soupy dish seems kind of mild, both my blanca and i have been getting gastro intestine issues from this meal.
is there some thing wrong with how i am preparing the ramen or should I try some certain brand? we are having trouble separating me from it and her from me so I might like some feed back on that too. Does anyone have that problem too?
More importantly, i think the ramen diet is effecting my ability to grow strong thumb nails? should i take my blanca in for a check up and get some tests done? I hate to waste the money on tests, but i don't want to end up with blanca with a thyroid or worse yet a hemroid "situation". i've heard somewhere in these archives that thumb nails illnesses can be activated by too much ramen leading to hemroids.
my action is also really high and i'm wondering if the spring onions are too "springy". But that is the least of the troubles, really.
RE: Gastro Intestinal Problems with ... (in reply to estebanana)
LOL!
Perhaps try a different brand of ramen? It is said Royal Spanish Ramen goes down pretty easy, and it shouldn't plug up your corn hole on the way out. Plus I hear they are simply Andal-icious!! Mmmm, mmmm good! Just sayin'...
As for your nails, all I can think of is Viagra. Apparently, it works wonders getting things hard again....
Posts: 833
Joined: Oct. 29 2006
From: Olympia, WA in the Great Pacific Northwest
RE: Gastro Intestinal Problems with ... (in reply to estebanana)
I buy all my ingredients for this at the Grocery Outlet, which is where poor people shop in my state. I forget what the equivalent is down your way since I was actually flush enough to shop at Safeway the last time I was there. Not including the investment in spices and such I think there's maybe two to three bucks worth of food in one big-ass pot.
Open a beer or maybe pour a little glass of sherry. The liquor biz was recently privatized in Washington, so I was able to score eight bottles of Dry Sack on super cheap closeout at the state store, which I had to carry home, because my car broke down for good in December and I can't afford a new one. What am I doing buying imported fortified wine when I should be saving up for a new car? I don't see what that has to do with this recipe, so let's continue.
Caramelize a couple onions in a generous splashing of olive oil.
Chop up some russets while the onions cook. Don't use a waxy potato 'cause your thing will end up soupy instead of stewy. Dice a carrot or two. You can chop some other crap up, a parsnip, celery and so on, but I keep coming back to the simple potato/carrot combo and find that it's nice to keep it simple with just those two.
Oops, you forgot to chop up a few cloves of garlic to toss in when the onions are just about done. You should have held on to that garlic press from years past, which would have saved some time, but you read somewhere that real cooks/men chop, not press, their garlic, so you jettisoned that little guy and have been second guessing that decision ever since.
Dammit, you also forgot to put a kettle of water on so it doesn't go into the pot cold and slow everything down. If you had some stock you'd put that in there instead and it'd taste better, but you're too cheap for that so you'll have to make up for it with extra spices latter on.
Toss the garlic in.
Turn on the faucet to create a wall of white noise and QUIETLY open a can or two of beans, taking care not to arouse the interest of the cats who will come in and demand a treat, distracting you and making you burn your garlic. Besides, those little bastards get enough treats as it is. Now, if you were as broke as you like to pretend you are you'd be cooking from dried beans, but screw that. You can find cans of organic garbanzo, black, and great northerns for one dollar at the G.O. Use a different bean each time and you can pretend you're not eating the same goddamned thing every night.
Dump everything in there, top it off with the water, or stock if you're a Rockerfeller, dump the spice rack into the thing, bay leaf, corriander, cumin, ginger, thyme, basil, Ms. Dash, that tin of pimenton de la vera you had to buy at the store you're supposed to be boycotting because the Grocery Outlet sure doesn't stock that stuff.
Kick up the heat to get it simmering and then kick it back down and put the lid on. You could cook it pretty quick if you wanted, but I like to put it on low heat and let it cook for 45 minutes or so to let everything hang out in the pot for a while. The garbanzos will hold up to plenty of simmering, but the great northerns might dissolve to mush. Who cares?
Keep drinking. Reflect on some of the choices you've made in your life. Get up every once and a while to stir the pot (literally. That's not a metaphor) and knock some of the starch out of the potatoes. Ask yourself if this is "really it." Try to think about what your life might be like a year from now, five years, twenty.
Open another beer or bottle of sherry. Wait a minute, you had eight of those a couple weeks ago and now you're down to only three??
Grind pepper into the pot. Shake a lot of Jane's Crazy Mixed Up Salt in there too. You could taste it at this point, but you've made this crap so many times that you can just eyeball it and you know exactly what it'll taste like.
Dinner is served.
There you go, a recipe everyone can use. How's THAT for a full realization of the Foro's potential?
(edit added later upon reflection) Splash some Lee and Perrins in there. Not enough so's you can actually taste it, but just enough to add a little poor man's umami to the proceedings.
RE: Gastro Intestinal Problems with ... (in reply to estebanana)
Okay Steve, I think your problem is that your NOT using "TOP" Ramen... Here's a guy that uses top ramen and actually crushes it with his blanca (@59.0)... Try his recipe for a week and your nails and innerds will thank you, guaranteed. Could be bad for your blanca though.
RE: Gastro Intestinal Problems with ... (in reply to estebanana)
I've been totally puzzled throughout this thread wondering how everyone could see estebanana's "surreal joke" except me.
I have never heard of Ramen before and assumed it was maybe the American spelling of the word Ramin, which is a white hardwood often used in strip mouldings for beadings in frames and windows.
This made a kinda sense, since he works with wood and also said he was feeding his blanca the stuff and I also know he's nuts..
OK.....finally googled Ramen and realize it's some sort of Japanese food!
Jeez...I though by Top Ramen he meant "Top quality" Ramin!
RE: Gastro Intestinal Problems with ... (in reply to estebanana)
Ron... I think this thread is mostly for americans or for those into american culture... Being european and non native english speaker, I dont understand anything and I dont even know what its about. So if its a surreal joke,,,,,, then what part is surreal and where is the joke?
RE: Gastro Intestinal Problems with ... (in reply to Dave K)
oh yuck!!!!!!!!! i have been to america once , it is a beautiful country and nice people, whatever you people build are gigantic, whether they are malls, roads or food, even when you ask for location ,a block away is just like afew miles. unbelivebale!!! the only thing i don't like is so many unhealthy food.
RE: Gastro Intestinal Problems with ... (in reply to estebanana)
Richard, for your next visit to the Bay, put a visit to my humble shop on your to do list and I'll take you on a latin food tour of Ea(s)t Oakland. And Cafe' Valparaiso in Berkeley has Chilean humitas made with actual choclo.
Posts: 1708
Joined: Jan. 29 2012
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
RE: Gastro Intestinal Problems with ... (in reply to estebanana)
This reminds me of a dream I had about a guitar I was making on which the rosette got distorted. I dreamed that when the guitar gave birth the rosette got straightened out as the baby came out the soundhole.
RE: Gastro Intestinal Problems with ... (in reply to estebanana)
I have lots of guitar making dreams. One from last winter where Carl Jung was making guitars and I was the apprentice. A similar dream came up a year or so just prior to meeting Gene Clark and having him coach me through the first few guitars.
There was a an artist name Sal Scarpitta who used operating table sheets with the hole in the middle and glued them over wooden kayakish sled frames he made. He talked about the hatch created by the hole in the sheet as a birth hole. Makes perfect dream sense why a guitar would give birth, or a kayak.
Posts: 15725
Joined: Dec. 14 2004
From: Washington DC
RE: Gastro Intestinal Problems with ... (in reply to estebanana)
All my guitar dreams are nightmarish where I am about to show my dad my flamenco guitar and I open the case and the thing is in splinters or bridge falling off etc.
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