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RE: Flamenco guitar and criticism
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avimuno
Posts: 598
Joined: Feb. 9 2007
From: Paris, France
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 RE: Flamenco guitar and criticism (in reply to KMMI77)
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I'm also in a bit of a rut at the moment... i don't feel like touching my guitar at the moment because i just don't have fun anymore. I completely understand you... but bear in mind that there are periods like that. And that those periods go away eventually... sometimes you have to work at making them go away and sometimes they just disappear on their own. I find that sometimes, the smallest changes can make a world of difference.
I'm a writer and I write for local papers quite often... I went through a period last year where I quite simply couldn't write anything. I guess that it's what people call 'writer's block'... I don't care much about the label, the fact was that I would sit down in from of a blank sheet of paper and that sheet of paper would remain blank hours after I started 'writing'.
I really panicked because in my field of work, writing is very very important, and because I had never experienced such lack of inspiration before. The worst was that whenever I forced myself to write, it would get worse.
I reached a point where I decided that maybe I needed a break from it all... I had just completed my thesis, which had taken a lot out of me, and having to write for the papers every week was very tedious. It's one thing to write journalistic reports (which consists in reporting events mostly), and another thing to have a philosophical column (I am a philosopher by 'trade').
So I just woke up one morning, packed my bag and headed straight to the airport... I had absolutely no idea where I was going. I just showed up at a counter and asked the the lady there which plane I could catch within the next hour. I ended up in Cape Town, in South Africa.
Cape Town has to be one of the most beautiful places on earth... the city is quite simply gorgeous, and the surroundings are close to something out of a dream. I am a big aficionado of wine, and one is rarely more spoiled than in Cape Town when it comes to good wine. I stayed 3 months there, going from little town to little town... staying in very unique places. And one experience after another lead me to start thinking again... which in turn lead to start putting things on paper again.
After my 3 months in South Africa, I returned home with a bag full of almost 200 pages of notes on a book I want to write. I don't know what I'm going to do with it yet, or if it's even slightly usable, but I know that whenever I have to put pen to paper now, it just sort of happens. I feel inspired, motivated and fresh again... and this is the beginning of my answer to you...
Sometimes life drags us down... the same routine, the same place, the same people, the same thoughts... little by little things like that wears you down. The worst is that this depreciation happens so slowly that you can hardly notice it at all... until one day you don't feel like waking up, you don't feel like going to work, you don't feel like doing anything really, and until even the slimmest of challenge seems like a mountain you'll never be able to climb... I realize now that last year, before taking this trip, I was quite literally empty. I had worked so hard and given so much in the years before that that I had no energy left in me... I was quite simply empty and I needed a break from absolutely everything in my life. We all need a break from time to time. A break doesn't necessarily mean going somewhere... it means doing things you have never done before, or rather, not doing the things you do every day.
I find that the lightest changes really make a world of difference... for example, I change the position of my desk from time to time, just to have a different view when I'm writing. I change the music I listen to quite often, even if I'm completely 'in' an album. I change my sleeping habits, my eating habits, my reading habits quite often... just for the sake of it. Change in itself has a way of healing which is quite extraordinary.
To come back to the issue at hand... I also find myself in periods when I do not want to pick up my guitar. Periods when you feel that you'll never become good enough for yourself, in order to please yourself when you play. Those are challenging moments because you either give up or work your way out of them... either way, there's always a change ahead. And here again, I find that the slightest changes can make a world of difference.
For example, a while back, I could not pick up my guitar because I was really tired and bored of its sound and the way it played... I'm sure that we've all had days like that. I quite simply ordered a bunch of strings I had never tried before and decided to experiment with them... now I'm in love with that guitar again because I have found strings that make it sound and play differently. The strings I use now make me want to pick it up all the time... it 'feels' great!! And I have realized that those strings give me a better sound than the ones I used before, so there's been progress in my playing too.
Give yourself some time and things will improve... and don't forget that "The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind" (Nietzsche)
This post ended up being much longer than I was going for... 
Just my 2 cents...
Saludos!
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Date May 12 2011 7:02:43
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KMMI77
Posts: 1821
Joined: Jul. 26 2009
From: The land down under
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RE: Flamenco guitar and criticism (in reply to KMMI77)
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Gerundino, Thanks for the reply, I find technique study/practice and the additional control developed through focus, to be essential in being able to express and enjoy. I tend to look for expression and enjoyment also in practice. When i can find it.
Alval, Thanks for the thoughts and suggestions. From what i have been able to put together about you through the internet and forums etc.. I gather you are involved in teaching, performing and recording with others in a variety of styles and settings? I have never really enjoyed performing for many reasons. Although i have done it a lot over the years.
Powo, Thanks for taking the time to share your wife's thoughts with me. When i play music i try to share that which drew me to the music in the first place. Being something I view as positive. I also try to be honest with my intention. My intention varies according to my own thoughts and surroundings. It would be nice to be able to choose intention but I find attempts to do so lose meaning or become fake for me, especially at gigs which lead me to feeling uncomfortable. I would prefer to avoid those feelings.
Regeliocan, I am still unsure regarding what i mean by playing the guitar paying off. I have a suspicion that my current feelings have more to do with decisions i have chosen throughout life as well as guitar and music. So i am being a bit misleading there. I still don't feel as though i have a product to market although i feel a hint of something. I am still looking for the product. I have passed many gig/performance opportunities, solo and with others, because i did not believe in the product. After to many uncomfortable experiences. Perhaps i made a mistake there. I still don't know.
Hi ralexander, Thanks for having a listen to my tunes. I am glad they gave you some enjoyment. Yes, flamenco is certainly a challenge as would be learning to play steel string if i gave it a try. I agree that receiving some positive feedback from players we look up to is great. I have been fortunate enough to have shared music and received some positive comments from a few well known players over the years and i feel blessed and grateful for that.
Mark2, Thanks for the positive feedback. Your right, I do need to find a way to relax about all this stuff and find some direction.
malakka,
sorry to hear about your hands giving you problems. I'm sure all those years of playing within other styles of music will give you something nice to offer within Flamenco.
Holyevil, Luckily it seems I can always find plenty of mistakes and problems. Not just within my music either. 
It would appear that music offers a never ending journey.
Estebanana, Thanks for re affirming and sending those helpful views to me. I can really use that right now. You have helped me here and i thank you for that. I can strongly relate to your descriptions. The points you make regarding getting rid of stuff have put some things in context for me.
Florian, How Sh*t I am?  Just joking I understand your point. Yes it's a hard balance to find. I feel i am honest with music and only find that during those times, does music offer me something back.
Kevin James Shanahan, I have been thinking about borrowing a base from a friend. Perhaps i will take a break from guitar and borrow it. I have shared the "guitar not for me" feeling many times. Good luck to you also.
Nenadk, Thanks for the advice. I agree the critical part is necessary and at times it feels overpowering.
Well, you have all given me a lot to think about.
I need to find some kind of path to feel inspired again. And find a product that i believe in. I know there is something out there and i hope i manage to find it before giving up becomes a reality. It may not be flamenco at all. I don't know, I'm still looking which i guess is a good sign. I am not looking for fame or to be the best etc..
I would like to find a way of playing music that is expressive, honest, enjoyable to others, with good energy and intention. I guess that is my goal. I posted random ideas on you tube to see how people responded to certain things. I guess as a way of finding direction. I guess i need to take a break and then return and see where i am at.
I feel confused and often down when i listen to others opinions relating to music. Perhaps that is a lesson i need to learn? I will see
I was "for some reason"attracted to Flamenco because at the time I felt i needed to learn something through it. I feel i am close to knowing what that is now.
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Date May 12 2011 8:31:32
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Florian
Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia
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RE: Flamenco guitar and criticism (in reply to KMMI77)
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quote:
Florian, How Sh*t I am? Just joking I understand your point. Yes it's a hard balance to find. I feel i am honest with music and only find that during those times, does music offer me something back
lol yes low self esteem, self doubt, stress, ...the constant feeling on unrest...whatever you doing you feel like you should be practicing, the constant feeling like you not doing enough...and when you do get a compliment the feeling of guilt almost cause you feel like you deceiving people...cause you know whats out there and you know your mistakes... if this is what music offers when you honest to it you can start calling me Pinocchio..
While i am kidding mostly, all this things are true to different extents for different people..but what can you do, comes with the job, a world of dissatisfaction and constant feeling of unrest and frustration...one needs a good sense of humor, not to take himself or it so seriously and know that this is what it is...if you know its there and its natural and happens to everyone to different degrees its easier to deal with and have a sense of humor about it..
with playing music you lose certain innocence about listening to it...i often wonder if we appreciate it more or less ...i wish i had my untrained ears back when i could just listen to music and hear music...now i hear modes, and falsetas i wanna steal, if a piece is difficult, and mistakes...the most beautiful thing in the world can become ugly or average if you look to close and too deep..
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Date May 12 2011 16:08:10
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ToddK
Posts: 2961
Joined: Dec. 6 2004
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RE: Flamenco guitar and criticism (in reply to KMMI77)
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Its ok man, that is totally normal to go through those times of doubt.
Hell, just this forum alone, and how critical we all can be here on each other sometimes can be really oppressive.
Playing guitar shouldnt be like studying medicine. It should be like sailing a boat, or getting a massage.
Of course, we need to have serious practice sessions to sharpen technique and all that stuff, but we have to remember why we picked it up in the first place.
I have the same thoughts you do, all the time. I have to remind myself to just
play, just to listen to how cool the guitar sounds, and no other reason. Just pure fun.
Not a care for how people will judge what im doing. If you get caught up in that, ay ay ay, thats rough.
You have to get back to the kid inside you.
You'll be ok man, that spark will hit you again, and you'll be inspired to play!!
We can all be very critical and judgemental here, but as this thread shows, we can also be very caring and supportive. The posts in this thread are absolutely inspiring.
TK
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Date May 13 2011 0:20:37
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Ruphus
Posts: 3782
Joined: Nov. 18 2010
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RE: Flamenco guitar and criticism (in reply to avimuno)
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A well thought post, Todd.
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Lost my almost finished post Wednesday,so once again, as a notice:
#
Achievement ( in any discipline ) can´t compensate for emotional deem of imperfection.
The functional response to this common problem of our civilizations would be replacement of traditional pedagogics of permanent legitimation challenge, with pedagogics of untouched legitimation and exclusively matter-related challenge. ( In the sense of: "I dislike what you are doing" instead of "I don´t like you when you do like that".)
#
Letting oneself be inspired by the cracks out there is of great value, but expecting to absolutely match their skills will rather push you back and frustrate.
The benchmark at best should be your former self. Outperforming oneself will allow confidence and further progress.
No concrete expectations will equal no limits of achievement in the same time.
#
When in need of realizing how far you have come already, reverse the guitar for a moment ( fretting with the RH and plucking with the LH ).
The unfitness sensed that way should roughly ressemble what you once started out with / help you appreciating what has been gained since then.
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I have wittnessed several professional musicians quit.
No matter the level of advance, I always find it sadening to see someone giving up.
Despite their skills and talent, in the end I used to think hat there must have been passion missing; otherwise one would never rest an art of such beauty and emotional value.
Me has been Sisyphos on the guitar hill for decades.
Started out just for the sonics. First ten years just spontaneously with no whatsoever aim of achievement. Initially even coincidentally with ergonomic technique, until I saw Segovia on TV and messed up everything towards dysfunction. Years later with all wrong posture, routines and poise I had reached a level of faking technique that would even impress academic guitars students ( in regard of touch and improvisation ), yet clearly experiencing cramp and one-trick pony deseases.
In the end it all led to focal dystonia.
Meanwhile I had started investing on ergonomical technique ( which at first used to be practised and conveyed vastly uncounsciously in the guitar world [ or imperfectly ], analyzed and publicly described since only some years now ), gathering bits and pieces one by one from artists and teachers and from observing myself.
About 5 years or so ago, I decided to let the wrong habits aside and rebuild technique from scratch.
It can´t be emphasized enough how hard it is to remove wrong patterns. The minute efforts it takes to imprint is worlds apart of what it takes to overcome them. ( And probably why bad technical habits for many people and cases usually are there to stay.)
Anyway, the subject is requesting superhuman descipline from me now, including the one to not gallop ahead and fall back into old "virtuoso routines". And I am surprised to see the stamina that I am able to mobilize ( though having proved steadyness before in another realm ).
I believe that I, as an actually pretty unpatient character by nature, am only able to bring forth such patience, for being a connoisseur of sonics.
In fact I consider myself more of a sonical crazy than a musician in its common sense.
The beauty of vibrating strings pulled me in initially and keeps me sticking to the guitar.
And while I understand you well about growing knowledge and raised bars; I think that yet sophistication should still allow to appreciate that little kid´s performance on the recorder; just as no howsoever beautifully sounding track of the world´s leading guitarists will spoil the sonic pleasure a good guitar grants me.
Every thing has its own place and merrits.
And if you ever come close to the level of top performers, that should be fantastic, but if you don´t still appreciate what you have nonetheless.
Don´t lie, don´t betray, don´t steal and there will always be high quality with you, and sufficient confidence for any performance level in subjects. ( No matter what the child- and parent ego might insinuate.)
Ruphus
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Date May 13 2011 11:37:11
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Ruphus
Posts: 3782
Joined: Nov. 18 2010
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RE: Flamenco guitar and criticism (in reply to KMMI77)
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Hi KMMI77,
The loss of posts that occured to me has been due to MS "Security essentials" which likes to download updates and reboot the idle computer, notwithstanding that you checked its setting to not do so. I now disbaled certain functions in the OS services, hoping that it will finally prevent the autonomous function.
quote:
ORIGINAL: KMMI77
Achievement ( in any discipline ) can´t compensate for emotional deem of imperfection.
The functional response to this common problem of our civilizations would be replacement of traditional pedagogics of permanent legitimation challenge, with pedagogics of untouched legitimation and exclusively matter-related challenge. ( In the sense of: "I dislike what you are doing" instead of "I don´t like you when you do like that".)
In your own words above, Are you referring to the interpersonal communication process? The introduction of communication theory into the education system, allowing better understanding from an early age, would surely offer significant advantages to individuals and communities. Only over the last few years did i read a communications book by Joseph A. devito. better late than never.
Absolutely. If there were lessons tought in school like on soft power etc., it would be quite constructive.
In some schools in Germany there have been introduced courses on ethics, which could be another very constructive measure; only that I suspect that it won´t help as much as it could by far, as long as didactics won´t have realized the difference between moral and ethics first.
( In Germany´s institutional "ethics council" there have been seated clerics, which clearly indicates that the above fundamental difference is not realized.)
What I was about has been something else however.
I was trying to expose the lever of existence legitimation with obsolete pedagogics, which results in the common unease of grown-up individuals.
Trying to summrize as short as I can:
We are born with the so called primeveal fear which reigns emotions from the very beginning, yet even before formation of conscious association ability.
It basically is the fear to be left behind in the wilderness by the group, then exposed to predators etc.
This is why a new born already is able to mirror mimics in the unconscious attempt to please / not be rejected.
In an natural ambience this primeveal fear is scheduled to cease around teen age ( 14 years ), after the community will have continously have backed up the individual and confirmed its unconditional value ( hence: right to exist ) to the group. ( With exception of eventual, actual and severe infringement to the groups interests, naturally.)
However, retarded principles of old fashioned ( yet, still common ) New Age pedagogics and their inherent moralistics are making use of the primeveal fear to produce submission. In that destructive strategy existence legitimation of the young is being granted only temporarily and regularly withdrawn.
Such method causes severe harm to a person´s ego, making him unable to ever be confident. Surrendering him to a feeling of inadequacy for a lifetime.
This resulting subjective inadequacy leaves the individual constantly seeking for relief, hoping some proficiency or appreciation might finally deliver the feeling of completeness. Unfortunately, however compensation does not work.
( It only works for beneficiary of feudal and capitalistic systems for whom people´s compensational attempt secondarily yields irrational profits.)
This is why I have been trying to make parents of young children aware of that they must never connect children´s faux pas to the personal value. ( Which would be the above mentioned "I don´t like you when you do like that"). Instead, on principle leaving the person´s value absolutey untouched and addressing the critique to the action exclusively ( = "I dislike what you are doing").
( A friend of mine had the exceptional luck that his parents were aware of this significant detail, and I wished I could introduce him to whoever could hypothetically be doubting on the crucial relevance of leaving offspring´s legitimation unchallenged.
He has become an outstandigly well rested and robust personality, and his baby son is now benfitting of the same natural temper and stability.)
quote:
ORIGINAL: KMMI77
Sometimes i become side tracked and forget to appreciate what i have.
Having heard a track from you, I think that you have achieved quite a treasure with guitar playing.
Notwithstanding the dazzling art of the Pacos & co.; hear what complex, cheering, singing, moaning and growling music you can pull out of such a simple construction with just a couple of strings over a waisted box ...
Keep rocking on, by all means! :O)
Ruphus
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Date May 14 2011 10:41:53
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