no one to accompany

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no one to accompany

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CarloJuan

Posts: 169
Joined: Sep. 19 2010
From: Philippines

no one to accompany

My flamenco teacher here in the Philippines obviously got pissed at me for some reason. So now no flamenco lessons FOREVER. I'm left to live, study, practice on my own. Bad thing is, this flamenco teacher of mine is one of the main guitarists here in the flamenco circle that accompanies baile. So by him, removing all compassion and discarding me the privilege as his personal flamenco apprentice, i am also removed of one of the great sources for improving flamenco....accompanying baile (since if my teacher and i are in good terms then he'd make me accompany his dancers right?)

Ugghh,

i feel like crying...haha, soo gaaay. Flamenco slipping away from my reeeeeaaaaaach. Noooooooo

But nothing will stop me, it's my responsibility to live on my dream, circumstances wouldn't block my path or drain me off my inspiration.

God will provide! He is the Ultimate source of everything, i shall not want!!!!!!!!

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 24 2010 1:57:48

Elie

Posts: 1837
Joined: Apr. 10 2010

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

quote:

My flamenco teacher here in the Philippines obviously got pissed at me for some reason. So now no flamenco lessons FOREVER.

Can't you just apologize to him ? bring him a gift or watever ?
just cut the drama out of your life

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/user/GuitarristaAD

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 24 2010 8:15:23

kozz

Posts: 1766
Joined: Feb. 26 2009
From: Eindhoven NL

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

quote:

My flamenco teacher here in the Philippines obviously got pissed at me for some reason.

And you don't know which reason?

_____________________________

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 24 2010 8:50:37

XXX

Posts: 4400
Joined: Apr. 14 2005

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

A bit speculative but maybe he doesnt want to have you as competitor (in some years)? i have heard from two other guys who got problems with their teachers, and many years ago i took 2 or 3 lessons from a non pro player, who was good though. Suddenly he had no time, although i was very polite to him. The same teacher was angry about another student that took lessons from him and then accompanied another dancer in a different group than his??

From my point of view these things are just children's poo-poo among adults and a waste of time. We students just want to get better and cant deal with caprices IMO. Besides i dont like to be part in those b*tch games, i always tried my best to include other people wherever it was possible (sometimes even where it was not possible).

_____________________________

Фламенко

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 24 2010 9:47:42

CarloJuan

Posts: 169
Joined: Sep. 19 2010
From: Philippines

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to Elie)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkElieDraven

quote:

My flamenco teacher here in the Philippines obviously got pissed at me for some reason. So now no flamenco lessons FOREVER.

Can't you just apologize to him ? bring him a gift or watever ?
just cut the drama out of your life

Dude, i apologized. Lol.... bring him a gift? i'm not that gay...haha

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 24 2010 13:08:56

CarloJuan

Posts: 169
Joined: Sep. 19 2010
From: Philippines

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to kozz)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kozz

quote:

My flamenco teacher here in the Philippines obviously got pissed at me for some reason.

And you don't know which reason?

Ya i think i know the reason. It's because i cancel my lesson moments after just saying yes i'd do (for some plausibly valid reasons). But i go to his house weekend nights, so what's the big deal? All he has is to do is to sit and wait if i'd come for lessons. If i don't, then he can resume his schedule (assuming he ain't busy cause it's on weekends) Despite all means of being polite and apologetic...that's just the way people are.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 24 2010 13:19:12

ralexander

Posts: 797
Joined: Jun. 1 2010
From: Halifax, Nova Scotia

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

Your post is a bit confusing - are you saying you expect him to sit around and wait for you, not knowing if you'll show or not? Maybe he has to change some of his plans to make time for you? Personally, I'm usually quite busy on the weekends so that would annoy me. Sorry if I misunderstood you.

Also, I'm not gay but you've used the term twice in this thread alone in a negative way. Not cool, amigo! Just my opinion. Good luck, I hope you can patch things up with your teacher and get back to learning.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 24 2010 13:34:34

Ramon Amira

Posts: 1025
Joined: Oct. 14 2009
From: New York City

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

It's impossible for any of us to know what really went on between you and your teacher – I can't help thinking that there may have been other factors as well that made him give you up, because it's fairly rare for a teacher to just drop a student completely.

I have had students cancel on me calling me on my cell phone twenty minutes before the lesson when I was actually in my car on my way to them. You can imagine I was not very happy about that, but I just politely told them that if it happened again I would expect to be paid for the lesson. But I didn't just cut them out.

At this point, if he's that adamant about dropping you altogether, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to go back to him even if he changes his mind. Surely there must be some other teachers in the Philippines.

_____________________________

Classical and flamenco guitars from Spain Ramon Amira Guitars

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 24 2010 14:07:48

veet

Posts: 231
Joined: Nov. 29 2004
From: L.A.

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

If you skip a scheduled lesson without enough notice, you should pay for it anyway. That's the way it works with my teacher. His time is valuable.

Without knowing the details, it sounds like maybe you need to apologize for standing him up, and offer to pay. It's all about respect.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 24 2010 17:57:43

CarloJuan

Posts: 169
Joined: Sep. 19 2010

[Deleted]

Post has been moved to the Recycle Bin at Oct. 15 2010 5:36:28

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 25 2010 9:30:12

Doitsujin

Posts: 5078
Joined: Apr. 10 2005

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

Carlosjuan. Never make you depended on anybody! (Except hot women).

EDIT: And.... dont mess with appointments...

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 25 2010 9:59:11

Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

quote:

There was a time when i constantly cancelled my lessons just after arranging a scheduled lesson with him (as i said, due to valid reasons). So he got pissed.

CarloJuan,

I'm afraid I would have dumped you too!

You showed complete disrespect by regarding his time as "low priority".

Maybe the odd cancellation...but constantly??

He should have made you pay for the lessons you cancelled IMO.

cheers,

Ron

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 25 2010 10:08:57

XXX

Posts: 4400
Joined: Apr. 14 2005

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

well in your first post you said you didnt know the reason

When i sign up for a lesson i always tell that i dont have the time or money to come on a weekly or even monthly basis.

quote:

He should have made you pay for the lessons you cancelled IMO.

Cancellation should be ok if its more than one day beforehand. Especially if its on weekends, i see no problem. If the teacher had some gigs at weekend he probably would have NEVER accepted lessons in that time in the first place. Think about it

. But i agree that your attitude is not appropriate for a student.

_____________________________

Фламенко

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 25 2010 10:11:37

Arash

Posts: 4495
Joined: Aug. 9 2006
From: Iran (living in Germany)

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

you behaved very bad and you still sound very egoistic.

if i would do that here with a teacher, not only he wouldn't even talk to me anymore, he would sue me for the lessons.

if i were you, i would opologize again and try to fix the problem.
its not gay to do that.

_____________________________

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 25 2010 11:26:49

Ramon Amira

Posts: 1025
Joined: Oct. 14 2009
From: New York City

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

How did you ever get stuck originally with a nasty, mean guy like this teacher? First he has the colossal nerve to offer you free lessons. What a creep! Then he makes matters worse by not only giving you free lessons, but lessons that "run long into the night." Disgusting behavior! Then he goes and makes you "constantly cancel your lessons just after arranging a scheduled lesson with him." Outrageous! You should have dropped him right then and there when you saw how selfish he was.

CarloJuan, amigo, I don't know how old you are, but you have some serious growing up to do.

_____________________________

Classical and flamenco guitars from Spain Ramon Amira Guitars

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 25 2010 14:46:29

CarloJuan

Posts: 169
Joined: Sep. 19 2010
From: Philippines

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

Can anyone please tell me the straight, honest-to-goodness truth about what i did wrong and how bad it was?

I thought it wasn't big of a deal because i was the one going to his house. Would it be a problem if i cancelled constantly?

I honestly thought, no harm done if i cancelled lessons (even constantly) since he woudn't worry more of me, and he could resume whatever else he needed to do: do some stuff, finish work, or sleep early, i dunno.

Egotistical, childish, naive, and a lot of times being called stupid and petty....yup i get them a lot. Dagger to the heart admitting one's shortcomings.

Shame one me, i do need a lot of growing up to do. Pretty bad start for a newbie on the forum.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 26 2010 12:19:08

Mike_Kinny

Posts: 689
Joined: Feb. 12 2009

[Deleted]

Post has been moved to the Recycle Bin at Nov. 26 2010 21:59:42

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 26 2010 12:31:54

Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

quote:

Can anyone please tell me the straight, honest-to-goodness truth about what i did wrong and how bad it was?

CarloJuan,

A lot of teachers don't just teach for the money alone.
They are big aficionados of the music they play and take an interest in teaching others who are enthusiastic too.

Depends on what "valid" reasons for cancelling means..

If you are ill or something...then obviously that's acceptable.

If it's because you've decided to go to the Movies with your mates instead, then that's not.

What would you be saying if everytime you booked a lesson, he called you 30 mins before to say a friend of his had turned up and they were going to the pub instead, so will maybe see you next week?

Remember he has a life too. He doesn't just switch on and off like a robot and "just resume what he was doing".

Maybe he had turned down something like a fun social arrangement or something, saying "No..I'm afraid I can't make it...I've got a young student coming round on Sunday and I don't want to let him down".

IMO the man obviously thinks you're not serious and not worth wasting his time on.

Sorry amigo, but that's life!

People don't like being treated like shi*

cheers,

Ron

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 26 2010 12:35:22

XXX

Posts: 4400
Joined: Apr. 14 2005

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarloJuan
Egotistical, childish, naive, and a lot of times being called stupid and petty....yup i get them a lot.

And you wonder why he doesnt want you as student? Hm.
To say it in your words: its gay to be an as*hole! (btw please note the multidimensionalness of this joke)
Just get a new teacher, or teach yourself or whatever.

_____________________________

Фламенко

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 26 2010 12:59:19

CarloJuan

Posts: 169
Joined: Sep. 19 2010
From: Philippines

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to Ron.M)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ron.M

quote:

Can anyone please tell me the straight, honest-to-goodness truth about what i did wrong and how bad it was?

CarloJuan,

A lot of teachers don't just teach for the money alone.
They are big aficionados of the music they play and take an interest in teaching others who are enthusiastic too.

Depends on what "valid" reasons for cancelling means..

If you are ill or something...then obviously that's acceptable.

If it's because you've decided to go to the Movies with your mates instead, then that's not.

What would you be saying if everytime you booked a lesson, he called you 30 mins before to say a friend of his had turned up and they were going to the pub instead, so will maybe see you next week?

Remember he has a life too. He doesn't just switch on and off like a robot and "just resume what he was doing".

Maybe he had turned down something like a fun social arrangement or something, saying "No..I'm afraid I can't make it...I've got a young student coming round on Sunday and I don't want to let him down".

IMO the man obviously thinks you're not serious and not worth wasting his time on.

Sorry amigo, but that's life!

People don't like being treated like shi*

cheers,

Ron

Well said Ron. You understood my plight very well, and i was shocked because of the thing you said about him cancelling some social arrangement with friends instead of me. I honestly thought the same thing and that was the main reason!!!

Anyway, so what now? it's sad learning on your own, and if i had a chance i wouldn't have treated not only him, but other people as well, the respect they deserved. Damn, was i so stupid and careless. I'm just really miserable. Hard lesson and tough price that i'm paying.

Good thing there's foro

cheers to that,

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 26 2010 13:05:07

Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

Yeah, well we've all done stupid and selfish things amigo...

It's only when you keep on doing them and expecting a different outcome that's dumb..

cheers,

Ron

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 26 2010 13:31:08

CarloJuan

Posts: 169
Joined: Sep. 19 2010
From: Philippines

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to XXX)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deniz

And you wonder why he doesnt want you as student? Hm.
To say it in your words: its gay to be an as*hole! (btw please note the multidimensionalness of this joke)
Just get a new teacher, or teach yourself or whatever.

Could you stop adding more insult to injury? if you do then you'll be the kind of gay you're referring too (note the mulitdimensions of this statement).

peace

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 26 2010 13:41:42

Chiste de Gales

Posts: 298
Joined: Jan. 13 2009

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

Teachers do get disappointed when students cancel.

He's spending time with you, helping to make you a better player.
When you cancel a lot, you are acting like you don't care about the work he has put in to help you.
He probably thought early on that you had promise and he hoped he could make you better.
When a good student cancels a lot, it can be emotionally upsetting to the teacher.
Some teachers dont want to deal with that. They are much more interested in dedicated students.

Flamenco is hard to play and requires a student to be dedicated.
It sounds like you need to give up and spend your time doing something else.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 26 2010 14:31:49

Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to Chiste de Gales)

Well, I reckon Carlo has had a hard enough time....so let's not pile it on.

Carlo...you can learn an awful lot without a teacher, especially on this site.

My teaching prize goes out to Davy Graham, the famous Folk/Blues guitarist of the 60's/70's, who would take about 10 students at a time for a "workshop" in his house in London.

He'd put on a Ravi Shankar LP for them to listen to (for insight and inspiration) and then go round the corner to the pub.
Half an hour later, he'd come back and turn the record over and go back to the pub.

Then in another half hour, he'd come back and charge them all a Tenner each!

God Bless the guitar legends!

cheers,

Ron

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 26 2010 21:03:57

Alonte

Posts: 214
Joined: Dec. 2 2008

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

Hey Carlos. I didnt realize there is a flamenco scene in the philippines? Anyway if its that small, you better make sure you dont burn bridges. Keep the relationship healthy and It will help the thriving scene grow. Filipinos are very kind people, have a talk, make ammends and keep us posted on the flamenco scene over there.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 28 2010 1:07:10

CarloJuan

Posts: 169
Joined: Sep. 19 2010
From: Philippines

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to Alonte)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alonte

Hey Carlos. I didnt realize there is a flamenco scene in the philippines? Anyway if its that small, you better make sure you dont burn bridges. Keep the relationship healthy and It will help the thriving scene grow. Filipinos are very kind people, have a talk, make ammends and keep us posted on the flamenco scene over there.

do you have any suggestion as to how to make proper ethical ammends to my former teacher?

thanks all

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 28 2010 9:04:33

CarloJuan

Posts: 169
Joined: Sep. 19 2010
From: Philippines

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to Chiste de Gales)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chiste de Gales

Teachers do get disappointed when students cancel.

He's spending time with you, helping to make you a better player.
When you cancel a lot, you are acting like you don't care about the work he has put in to help you.
He probably thought early on that you had promise and he hoped he could make you better.
When a good student cancels a lot, it can be emotionally upsetting to the teacher.
Some teachers dont want to deal with that. They are much more interested in dedicated students.

Flamenco is hard to play and requires a student to be dedicated.
It sounds like you need to give up and spend your time doing something else.

thanks i'll take note of that

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 28 2010 9:09:00

Ricardo

Posts: 14848
Joined: Dec. 14 2004
From: Washington DC

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to CarloJuan)

There is still hope. You have to prove yourself more then anything, that you are interested and humble, that's all. I have encountered many types that in the early stage can be annoying like that, but some keep at it and "break through" and all that early "annoying new guy who wants it all on a silver platter" is forgotten. But you have to do it on your own. You can only appologize so much. You need to demonstrate that you are a worthy student or colleague. Show up at dance class with your guitar one day if you think you are up for it. Or at least support your teacher when he performs by showing up to his gigs or shows and hanging out afterwards. Remember, all flamencos need to be good aficionados first and foremost. In the beginning that is just showing respect for the artists and the art form.

Ricardo

_____________________________

CD's and transcriptions available here:
www.ricardomarlow.com

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 29 2010 1:58:19

CarloJuan

Posts: 169
Joined: Sep. 19 2010
From: Philippines

RE: no one to accompany (in reply to Ricardo)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ricardo

There is still hope. You have to prove yourself more then anything, that you are interested and humble, that's all. I have encountered many types that in the early stage can be annoying like that, but some keep at it and "break through" and all that early "annoying new guy who wants it all on a silver platter" is forgotten. But you have to do it on your own. You can only appologize so much. You need to demonstrate that you are a worthy student or colleague. Show up at dance class with your guitar one day if you think you are up for it. Or at least support your teacher when he performs by showing up to his gigs or shows and hanging out afterwards. Remember, all flamencos need to be good aficionados first and foremost. In the beginning that is just showing respect for the artists and the art form.

Ricardo

thank you so much ricardo!!!!! i honestly got nervous when i saw your name replied to my post (i thought, is he gonna rant at me like the others did, o please dear God, nooooooo

)

But your advice is well appreciated...made my day... thanks for uplifting my spirit, God bless you amigo!!!!!

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Sep. 30 2010 3:53:46