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Why is it so difficult for people to accept an apology on forums? I've noticed that its really common for people to adopt some sort of personal moral high ground when disagreements happen, often when an apology has been publicly made to them as a result of the original misunderstanding/disagreement/whatever ....and even when an apology should have been forthcoming from both parties not just one. You get the '' totally blank '' that member's comments scenario ,often when there may have been a ' humbled ' effort to put things right directed straight at them previously, or ,a pistols at dawn/leather glove facial slap ''mo/fo I'm gonna disagree with you no matter what'' vibe. What's the score here? Has anyone else noticed this?( I'd say yes) but does anyone else think it matters or is it not a point of issue at all....these things just happen and that's it? I'm not looking for comments on specific past issues ,just a generalisation on what people reckon?
Best
pink
NB: No sobbing ,due to past events ,was done during the writing of this post!!
To accept an apology graciously one must accept the decency of the person offering it and recognise them as an equal and worthy of respect.
This would also force you to admit that you have some shared responsibility for the way an argument developed.
So you would have to question your own methods and behavior and, most difficult, motivation.
I apologise all the time, as is the lot of the clumsy man. And I can think of three separate occasions where three different members of this foro accepted my apologies graciously.
I assume that on the occasions where an apology was brushed aside or ignored the recipient was 'perfect' as detailed in my previous post.
Now I may be deluded there but I rest assured that I am not the only one.
In our common ground are included many of the insights made over the philosophical course of past ~ 2500 years.
Things that had yet to be explored by Sokrates and his followers, like subjectivity versus objectivity or the opportunity of observing oneself, are inlcuded in our associative and semantical standards. - Even if only few are aware and value the achievement.
There are other cultures that have not been there. Histories which in place of systematics of evaluation developed behavioural escape from dispute ( formal shock absorbers if you want). Deeming avoidance of discussion as high goal, not clearance. With no routine of approaching objectivity. Equalling emotion with ratio, or opinion / belief with knowledge / entity. Hence hardly prepared to clear yet the simplest / most obvious circumstances.
Consequently, hindered with making out bone of contention and from there focussing instead on the opponent´s personality ( lost relevance of "who" instead of "what").
Considering how much worse it can be, I embrace the size of objective measure in western discussion, even though having been discretely dissatisfied with it ever since. Sure, there could be more education on the merits of controversy and about the misconception of passive harmony, but all in all there is progress with pragmatism. -
What I see more cirtical than the objective measure is the desease of envy. A primitive rudiment that is strongly re-appearing from unwashed shore and infesting the people. Destructive envy everywhere. Even among close friends and siblings.
The generosity of granting where due, having become an edelweiss. A status of embarrassing emotional low-brow.
Why is it so difficult for people to accept an apology on forums?
This is because the internet is NOT the real world. It is dominated by nerds and geeks who feel entitled to equal footing and status as their tough guy macho counterparts of the real world, and go further to enjoy bullying and such in this "safe" environment behind the computer screen. One has no recourse but to learn the rules and "beat em at their own game" so to speak. Adapt, move forward.
I think its because you dont have to .....why should you ? You dont have to do anything , do you ? some people really dont think about you and insult you without caring what you say or maybe even understanding it . So of the 600,000,000 people online off and on why depress yourself over one user who insults you and then writes some kind of vague apology that you have to read between the lines to get and only to insult you again at a not so later date , best just put them on ignore and move on with your fantastic life and all the best things in it .
I've had a real problem with embracing the internet ....I'm a bit old school when it comes to communication....I like the face to face bit,personal touch,whites of eyes ,read the fellow human in front of you .....blah blah blah...... Don't get me wrong, I'm still capable of being a totally inappropriate f luck pig and am full of my own self importance and have reached an age where I'm often right ....but more overly wrong!! But although in that sort of situation...ie being wrong I still find it hard to just hide behind a screen and not admit it....I just can't do it. Its wrong, doesn't compute. If I've offended and know it I'll try and put it right....if I've offended and not realised , I want to know , so I can put it right. Not sure if its relevant to what happens a million times a day on line but to me I think it matters. Just what I think I guess. Am liking the replies .... thanks from a penis....as suggested by two testicles and Co 'members' pun pun
Best
pink
Edit. This is the only forum I've ever looked at or joined....am I a sad sack of s.hite or just a sack of s.hite?!!
In the moment I can´t find a headline to show you, but just yesterday there was in the German news how prejustice against the virtual world has been proven as just such. People not becoming isolated / unsocial computer nerds; some games even turning out supportive for skills. Etc.
Before spreading of PCs I belonged to those who would not expect much from computers. I thought more or less like "calculators, so what!?" Even when the internet became accessible for everyone, I did not understand its actual potential and possible relevance to us, as after all an informative species.
My todays take about internet communication is that it is priceless and probably the best means for information and support to democracy ever. Even with its weak point of opinion as apparent facts / a requirement to learn how to use it.
And what etiquette is concerned, my impression is that we are progressively getting better at it, with many understanding the challenge of virtually behaving like in life. Understanding the gift of being network across the globe and of instantly or even real-time exchanging ideas and knowledge.
If used constructively the computer represents a lovely complex tool for text, audio, graphics and meanwhile even 3D production that by far exceeds what I once would had even dreamed of. And the means of research and communication (, meanwhile even including video conference or remote home guarding for almost free) are just fantastic.
Who be left biased against this technology in good use, must realize that it likely is about ordinary resentment based on matter of inflexibility with age.
Man, how I remember my international communication of many years ago. Typing letters, bringing them to the post office and having them delivered within 3 to 4 weeks. Getting your reply in two months or so. Calling another continent at 5 expensive dollars or more per minute.
Or standing in the dark room and waisting budgets for often not so great photographic works.
Or the headaches with getting something multi tracked ... and so on.
And I recall my first encounter with a digital pocket calculator, in a stores display on Paris airport. Love on first sight. But merely four fundamental operations of arithmetics at a price of nearly 400 francs.
These days you get them thrown after you when you miss out on closing the door while leaving the room.
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