I never had a chance...

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Miguel de Maria

Posts: 3532
Joined: Oct. 20 2003
From: Phoenix, AZ

I never had a chance...

Okay, so I get a call from the main male dancer here in Phoenix, (names withheld to protect the guilty), and he wanted me to play at Pepin, the flamenco tablau here, for dinner. I explain that I have a few flamenco "pieces", but I'm not accompaniast, that's fine. I explain that my music is a mixture of flamenco, classical, Brazilian, that's fine. I explain that I normally play background or ambiant music, that's okay.

Now I talk to him this morning, and he slips in one more detail after going over mundane equipment and schedule items. "People are probably going to ask you where the dancers are and how come there isn't a flamenco show," he noted quickly, "you should just tell them you don't know, that you just got called in last minute. The owners said they are going to come up withs ome crazy story, but I don't want to get you mixed up in that!"

Of course I already knew the real reason is because his dance troupe is giving a big concert in the Scottsdale concert hall, but it seems that informing the clientele of the FLAMENCO DANCING RESTAURANT that the FLAMENCO DANCERS aren't going to be there is left up to the solo background guitarist!! Luckily I am not as petrified on stage as I used to be, but that doesn't mean that I am capable of replacing a flamenco show or dancers and singers by any means!

I'm not sure what I'm going to do. However, given I am a substitute and I am usually in the background I might be able to have a little fun. My idea is that if people look disgruntled or want a show, I can give one to them. I have a Soleares, Sevillanas, Granaianas, Bulerias, and Rumba pretty solid, so I might give them a few words about each and then play them, a "lecture/concert". Then I can play Leyenda and Recuerdos and improvise about how they are linked or somehow related to flamenco. It is a _Spanish_ restaurant after all. Then I could play a couple bossas and explain how they are related to Spanish music...hrrrm.. That's about a half hour there. It's supposed to be a 45 min. set. Anyone know any good jokes to tell?

This could be fun!

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 11 2005 17:32:05

Jon Boyes

Posts: 1377
Joined: Jul. 10 2003

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Miguel de Maria
Anyone know any good jokes to tell?

How about "Did you hear the one about the background music guitarist who turned up for a gig where hundreds of people had payed good money to seee a flamenco show with dancers?"

Seriously though, the concert/lecture thing can work really well Mike, I have seen a couple of solo flamenco guitarists do this and give background info on each palo. Both gigs went down great.

_____________________________

Spanish Guitarist in Devon, Cornwall and Somerset

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 11 2005 18:36:03

sorin popovici

Posts: 427
Joined: Jan. 7 2005
From: Iasi, Romania

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

short one:

I would pay even 100.000 bucks just to be a milionaire (in romanian sounds better).
Now this is not very helping ,is it ...5 sec to tell this one.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 11 2005 20:18:56

koella

Posts: 2194
Joined: Sep. 10 2005
From: holland

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

Seems to me you'll just be a sitting duck (i believe that's how you call it)
No matter how amusing your story's and how good your playing, they pay for good food AND a flamencoshow.

Imo you have a lot of guts to go there and play in front of that audience.They must pay you good.

Hope that we hear from you again without tar and feathers

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 11 2005 20:21:17

Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Jon Boyes)

quote:

Seriously though, the concert/lecture thing can work really well Mike

Absolutely Jon,
This is how Paco Peña made his name in Britain.
People went to his shows expecting to sit back in a judgemental sort of way and listen to some "foreign" Spanish guitarist play "The" Flamenco, as a kind of poorer form of Classical, (but interesting nevertheless.)
But Paco turned the tables on them by being highly articulate and educating the audience where all this stuff came from...it wasn't just "Spanishy Music".
He explained about the Moors, the Gitanos, Compás... and the reason why certain songs were sung in a particular way...etc.

By the end of the evening, he had the audience eating out of the palm of his hand.
So they left feeling they had just had an "experience" rather than just listening to some Spanish guy play guitar, without playing "La Cucaracha" which was their all-time favourite Spanish piece.

cheers

Ron

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 11 2005 20:51:32

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

Just remember tho , guitarists are not good speakers or even actors

I have a litlle story

About 6 years ago we where doing a show and we (me , another guitarist and a singer) decided that instead of having everything so predictable that we would add a litlle bit of a story line to the show,

The singer says , Ok il come on stage and wel talk wel make it look like we just casualy meet and we sit down ( we had a table and chairs on stage) drink a litlle chat a litlle and do a colombiana unplugged ( it wasent really unplugged, there was floor mic next to where we were sitting ). Simple

We were like " Yeah what a good idea Titi' !! something different

Well the show starts and we get to the Columbiana and Titi comes on stage and he starts speaking to me and the other guitarist in Spanish, at that very instant our faces turned blue cuase it just hit me and the other guitarist at the same time " **** i dont speak Spanish , what do I say ?!" (lol just a litlle detail we left out

)

SO after a few seconds of me and the other guitarist just loughing and agreeing at everything Titi said we realised that we had to make a sound cause it was getting very onesided this "converstaion" we were just shaking our heads and taking sips of wine

so we started to mumble made up words

that was the first and last time i was ever interested in a show with a story line that requires me to say anything

man i still lough everytime i think of that

But i am sure that wont happen to you Miguel, stuff like that can only happen to me , i agree to speak in Spanish and then i remember that i dont acctualy speak spanish.

_____________________________

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 11 2005 21:30:58

koella

Posts: 2194
Joined: Sep. 10 2005
From: holland

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

Man Florian, how do you do that? You remember me of my father. A story for every occasion. It's about picking up chicks. It's about leaving your homeland. Bringing people together who shouldn't be together in the first place.

I think your one of the main people who keep the flog together on this forum !!

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 11 2005 21:44:05

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

hehe , either that or i talk alot of ****

damn koella now u made me think, i did tell alot of story's, i better slow down or in about 5 months il have nothing left to say.

the story above is true tho

Ps... My storys are not about picking up chiks but about how i droped one on her head accidentaly. I dont share my pickup storys here cause there arent any

_____________________________

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 11 2005 21:50:04

koella

Posts: 2194
Joined: Sep. 10 2005
From: holland

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

I have no doubt that the other stories were true too ronald.

By the way, how do you keep your nails save while wrestling (I don't mean the beach wrestling)

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 11 2005 22:10:52

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to koella)

koella, my name is not ronald, i was beeing silly when i filled out the hotmail application, didnt realise that they where acctualy gonna use it

gues the joke is on me.

quote:

By the way, how do you keep your nails save while wrestling (I don't mean the beach wrestling

Well I dont do any wrestling

i just saw a wrestling move on tv once and tough id try it out, as you probably know it didnt quite work out like in the movie

All this answers i am giving are making me look like Anna Nicole Smith giving an interview, i have nothing further to add until my public relations guy gets here LOL ...

_____________________________

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 11 2005 22:17:23

koella

Posts: 2194
Joined: Sep. 10 2005
From: holland

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

As a punishment from now on I will call you "ronald".
It won't do any good to your credibility

(joking)

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 11 2005 22:40:20

koella

Posts: 2194
Joined: Sep. 10 2005
From: holland

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

By the way: who is Anna Nicole Smith.

(Í'm just a dutch peasant)

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 11 2005 22:42:24

Miguel de Maria

Posts: 3532
Joined: Oct. 20 2003
From: Phoenix, AZ

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

Ronald? What the hell? From now on, Florian is "Ronald," to me at least.

That's a good story Florian... you do have a share of them, eh? Luckily I made a vow long ago never to pretend to speak Spanish. Whenever I try, I get in trouble. Ask the guy at the Mexican drive through.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 11 2005 22:42:33

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to koella)

koella Anna Nicole Smith is a Blond with Massive errr.. Personality who married a Old Oil Taycoon ? I think the difference in theyr age was 50 years , anyway he died now shes rich, I am not sure if she acctualy does anything but she seems to always be on tv giving interviews.

I saw a couple of interviews with her here, alot of the questions went straight over her head

she came off looking very err. simple

Miguel

quote:

you do have a share of them, eh?

HA ! look whos talking "Mr. il start a post" about something that is happening to me everyonce a week

Atlist i find other pples Posts and attach my story in theyr reply post to camuflage it

teasing man , i enjoy your posts very much, thank got theres users here whos posts acctualy make sence cause half the time i have to read my own post 3 times just understand what i am trying to say.

_____________________________

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 11 2005 23:11:38

duende

Posts: 3053
Joined: Dec. 15 2003
From: Sweden

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Florian)

Ronald!! Ronald!! Ronald!! Ronald!! it either that or Flo le fleur

_____________________________

This is hard stuff!
Don't give up...
And don't make it a race.
Enjoy the ray of sunshine that comes with every new step in knowledge.

RON

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 12 2005 6:13:38

sorin popovici

Posts: 427
Joined: Jan. 7 2005
From: Iasi, Romania

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

I just realized y I love this forum ...it's because everybody here have a soul ...I just hate
that male crap when guys talk about boobs and stuff ...I'm in also for the big personality in a women

Duende ....my french is bad .....le fleur or la fleur (where is my google toolbar)?

Noo, for the last time I am Not gay.It was just a joke

!!!

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 12 2005 13:17:40

duende

Posts: 3053
Joined: Dec. 15 2003
From: Sweden

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to sorin popovici)

Sorin Florian sounds like something to do with flowers. so i just tease him

_____________________________

This is hard stuff!
Don't give up...
And don't make it a race.
Enjoy the ray of sunshine that comes with every new step in knowledge.

RON

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 12 2005 13:28:16

sorin popovici

Posts: 427
Joined: Jan. 7 2005
From: Iasi, Romania

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

I understood that, flower in romanian is "floare" and there is a day we call it flowers day
when u celebrate all the people who have flower names like florian,florin, margareta,narcisa,
zambilica ...etc etc etc....

Sorry , my humour is just weird ..

...sometimes.....well, most of the time to be sincere.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 12 2005 13:41:03

duende

Posts: 3053
Joined: Dec. 15 2003
From: Sweden

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to sorin popovici)

it´s ok.

_____________________________

This is hard stuff!
Don't give up...
And don't make it a race.
Enjoy the ray of sunshine that comes with every new step in knowledge.

RON

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 12 2005 14:10:32

Ryan002

Posts: 173
Joined: Oct. 18 2005
From: Singapore

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

In this situation Miguel should maybe pause in the middle and dance for them!

Or tell them the story about the guy who tried to show this girl some wrestling moves!

(PS Just kidding dude)

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 12 2005 14:26:31

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

whats this the pickonflorian thread ?

Dont make me climb down there you Eurovisionlovingpoofs

_____________________________

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 12 2005 18:28:20

koella

Posts: 2194
Joined: Sep. 10 2005
From: holland

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

Florian you should just have agreed with being called Ronald.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 12 2005 19:27:33

Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to koella)

quote:

Florian you should just have agreed with being called Ronald.

Hey...I'm called Ronald...what's the big deal about Ronald?
Sounds like it's a naff name like "Simon" or something..

There was Ronald Regan, President of the United States and Paul Simon, the great singer/songwriter
So what's the big deal here LOL!

Ron

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 12 2005 20:31:15

duende

Posts: 3053
Joined: Dec. 15 2003
From: Sweden

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Florian)

quote:

Eurovisionlovingpoofs

Poof!! poof!! just love that word! Poof poof!

Flo i might send ya a x-mass poof!

_____________________________

This is hard stuff!
Don't give up...
And don't make it a race.
Enjoy the ray of sunshine that comes with every new step in knowledge.

RON

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 12 2005 21:00:59

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Ron.M)

quote:

Hey...I'm called Ronald...what's the big deal about Ronald?

absolutly nothing wrong only is not my name

_____________________________

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 13 2005 6:55:49

duende

Posts: 3053
Joined: Dec. 15 2003
From: Sweden

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Florian)

i don´t understand that quote?

_____________________________

This is hard stuff!
Don't give up...
And don't make it a race.
Enjoy the ray of sunshine that comes with every new step in knowledge.

RON

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 13 2005 7:04:09

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to duende)

opps :-) i dont know how that happened

ment to quote Ron

_____________________________

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 13 2005 7:21:04

Miguel de Maria

Posts: 3532
Joined: Oct. 20 2003
From: Phoenix, AZ

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

Well, I played the gig last night. I had a gig at 5-6 and then had to rush down to get to Pepin for the gig at 715. I don't really have much to report. I played two 45 min. sets. No one asked me anything about the dancers, and people didn't really seem to pay that much attention to me. A couple tables seemed to be watching, so I played my flashiest stuff and tried to look "muy serio". I had a 45 min break between sets so I had a glass of tinto, Torres from Catalunya, and talked to the bartender, who coincidentally happened to be from Catalunya. My stomach was empty and I could feel the effects of the wine! In the second set I got brave and played Panaderos Flamencos :). I was a little intimidated because I rarely play for Spaniards, but they seemed to be pretty much like normal people. They liked the rumbas, especially the ones where I ended with a loud Gipsy Kings flourish! :)

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 13 2005 16:32:55

koella

Posts: 2194
Joined: Sep. 10 2005
From: holland

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

And again the lesson is: The only thing you have to fear is fear itself.

(have that from TV...or was it a heavy metal album?)

Oh no it was a president of the US (sorry)

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 13 2005 21:14:24

Ricardo

Posts: 14887
Joined: Dec. 14 2004
From: Washington DC

RE: I never had a chance... (in reply to Miguel de Maria)

Glad to hear you are getting lots of gigs. Filling in or getting subs at restaurants is always a pain.
A lot of times it is unfair to the regular performers, the sub, AND the regular customers at the venue. Like at
X-mas time when everyone has private parties etc,
I don't see the big deal in just canceling on resaurant gigs, instead of getting subs.
On the other hand it can be good to have variety.
Looks like the flamenco world is pretty small, since I just played for your
Anonymous dancer last week Miguel,

Ha!, hope his show went well too.

Ricardo

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Nov. 14 2005 7:22:04