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A spokestree for the Organization of American Cedars has spoken today about the anger that is harbored in the arbors of the Western Red and Eastern Purple Cedar communities. OAC leader Todd Greenbaum, no relation to pop singer Norman Greenbaum, has said the Cedar prejudice must end. In a statement delivered near the entrance to a vast spruce forest near the Canadian border he elaborated on the grievances of the Cedars:
"Just because we are the softer surfaced species we feel we get shorted our chances to shine in flamenco guitars. We really advocate that end users rethink the traditional paradigm of Spruce vs. Cedar." Greenbaum said, although holding a stiff upper bough hints of emotion could be heard in his voice. He went on to say: "The Spruces really are a denser species, yeah, take that literally in terms of brain power. We are re more flexible across the grain wood, but that does not make us any less qualified to do the job. We feel our flexibility is an asset."
The potentially inflammatory remarks did not go unnoticed by the National Spruce Council who's spokestree said, speaking anonymously : "We regret this Cedar difficulty, but without policies that promote Spruce hegemony the social fabric of the music world could completely unravel. "
Both sides will have their say next month at World Sudden Oak Death Summit in Tel Aviv, but this reporter is not holding out for any changes in the weather, or in the minds of end users who seem to be taken in by the Spruce Lobby and it's heavy influence on the International Woody Congress.
"We regret this Cedar difficulty, but without policies that promote Spruce hegemony the social fabric of the music world could completely unravel. "
"...Spruce hegemony..." The spokestree has obviously read his Gramsci.
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And the end of the fight is a tombstone white, With the name of the late deceased, And the epitaph drear, "A fool lies here, Who tried to hustle the East."
It's Cedar's fault for being "uppity" in the days of early guitar construction. Spruce was there when it was needed at a price that could be afforded. NOW it wants attention, shoulda thought of that in the 19th century.
You mean Thuja? Can't be trusted, trying to pass itself off as a Cedar when its really more of a Cypress; which we all know has no business in Flamenco.
"This puts me in a knotty dilemma," said the pine.
_____________________________
And the end of the fight is a tombstone white, With the name of the late deceased, And the epitaph drear, "A fool lies here, Who tried to hustle the East."
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