Shortage of Tonic Water (Full Version)

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RobF -> Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 27 2020 22:04:37)

I mean...seriously? WTF???

When my butler told me this morning that he checked all over town and couldn’t find any I was so upset I threw my Martini across the lawn and kicked the damned lounger into the pool. Everyone knows breakfast = G&T!! This is a FREAKING CATASTROPHE!!!






(So.....do I get the part? I’ve been watching Netflix a lot recently...I think I’ve got a pretty good idea of what people want.)




BarkellWH -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 27 2020 22:24:52)

I can understand your displeasure at the blighter, kicking him into the pool. As a retired member of the British regiment known as the Khyber Rifles who has seen action on the Khyber Pass and the Northwest Frontier, I brought back with me in retirement my batman who had served me so well while engaged in action on the Frontier. He would certainly know where to obtain tonic water, and I would be obliged to put him in touch with your butler.

William H. Barkell, Esq., Regimental Commander (Ret.)




Pgh_flamenco -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 27 2020 22:46:08)

People probably want tonic water that has Quinine in it even though it’s not the same as hydroxychloroquine.




RobF -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 27 2020 22:50:52)

quote:

He would certainly know where to obtain tonic water, and I would be obliged to put him in touch with your butler.

Why, thank you, Bill.

Good butlers are so hard to come by these days that I would never dare to abuse the dear fellow, fortunately it was only my chaise lounger which felt the wrath of my boot. I will have my man contact yours post haste, as indeed my mood is has suffered grievously and this news of your kind offer has worked considerable wonder in brightening it.




RobF -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 27 2020 22:57:48)

quote:

People probably want tonic water that has Quinine in it even though it’s not the same as hydroxychloroquine.

That’s what I was thinking, too. Also, there’s talk about a shortage of aluminum for cans and the manufacturers are prioritizing which pops get to fill them (I guess the most popular ones are first in line). Regardless the reason, there’s none to be found in these parts.




Pgh_flamenco -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 27 2020 23:30:59)

From what I’ve heard a lot of pop and beer sales occur in restaurants and bars. The shortage of cans is due to an increase in consumption at home. Breweries poured thousands of gallons of beer down the drain because there was no way to get it to the consumer. I would assume that products with the best profit margin that are selling at a high rate would be a priority.

Can you add something bitter to carbonated water to make it taste more like tonic water?




RobF -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 28 2020 2:09:56)

There are craft tonic syrups available locally that use all natural ingredients and are pretty good. Expensive, though.

There’s nothing quite as thirst quenching or as satisfying as a nice, cold G&T on a hot summer’s evening, although it’s more of an occasional indulgence for me rather than a regular thing. But it sure is nice to be able to have one when the mood hits, so I think I’ll pick up a bottle of the syrup. Probably healthier anyways.




Ricardo -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 28 2020 18:02:17)

quote:

Can you add something bitter to carbonated water to make it taste more like tonic water?


Yes ... MORE GIN!

For the record I prefer Hendricks. Tangeray beefeater etc is good too, not a fan of Bombay sapphire but I of course tolerate if that’s all I can get.




Auda -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 28 2020 18:18:02)

quote:

For the record I prefer Hendricks. Tangeray beefeater etc is good too, not a fan of Bombay sapphire but I of course tolerate if that’s all I can get.


I would recommend giving Seagram's gin a try. A lot of the time now when/if I do find tonic water I will purchase the entire stock.

Cheers




BarkellWH -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 28 2020 19:01:04)

Rob, I would like to suggest you try a favorite drink of old British colonials in Malaya--a "gin pahit." I am familiar with it, having served four years at the U.S. Embassy in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and rereading Somerset Maugham's short stories about every six or seven years, many of which were set in British Malaya. The word "pahit" in the Malay language ("Bahasa Melayu") means "bitter" and a gin pahit consists of gin and Angostura bitters with ice in a martini glass. Take your favorite gin and pick up a bottle of Angostura bitters, and your set.

The Long Bar at Raffles Hotel in Singapore uses 2/3 gin to 1/3 Angostura bitters, but of course you use the ratio of gin to Angostura bitters that best suits your taste. Fix yourself a gin pahit and sit out on your verandah (or porch or deck, I forgot that we are in the 21st century) about 6:00pm for a refreshing sundowner, thinking of the old days in Malaya. Good days, those, made even better by the gin pahit in your hand.

Bill




hamia -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 28 2020 20:35:24)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BarkellWH

Rob, I would like to suggest you try a favorite drink of old British colonials in Malaya--a "gin pahit." I am familiar with it, having served four years at the U.S. Embassy in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and rereading Somerset Maugham's short stories about every six or seven years, many of which were set in British Malaya. The word "pahit" in the Malay language ("Bahasa Melayu") means "bitter" and a gin pahit consists of gin and Angostura bitters with ice in a martini glass. Take your favorite gin and pick up a bottle of Angostura bitters, and your set.

The Long Bar at Raffles Hotel in Singapore uses 2/3 gin to 1/3 Angostura bitters, but of course you use the ratio of gin to Angostura bitters that best suits your taste. Fix yourself a gin pahit and sit out on your verandah (or porch or deck, I forgot that we are in the 21st century) about 6:00pm for a refreshing sundowner, thinking of the old days in Malaya. Good days, those, made even better by the gin pahit in your hand.

Bill


Get your emergency grab bag ready Bill as your fond thoughts of past colonial days will have put you on the radar of the cancel culturistas. You may need to go dark. Your contacts should serve you well but be vigilant. They are everywhere...




RobF -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 28 2020 22:45:55)

Well, I picked up some craft tonic syrup, made with cinchona, lemon, and lime. I’m going to try out the Pahit, too, but that’s a pretty strong drink, so maybe I’ll cut it with some soda and see how it goes.

This summer I’ve discovered two gins that I really like. One of them, Sipsmith’s London Dry, is a classic styled gin, nothing fancy, it just does the job well. It’s priced at about the same level as Hendricks, maybe a touch less. The other one is a French gin called Citadelle, which is priced around the same as Bombay or Tanqueray. It’s pretty flavourful, I’d take it over either of those two any day, although I don’t mind Tanqueray. But I’m perfectly happy with some Beefeater or Gordon’s in a G&T, they work just fine. Seagrams doesn’t appear to be available here.




Estevan -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 29 2020 2:25:44)

quote:

Fix yourself a gin pahit and sit out on your verandah (or porch or deck, I forgot that we are in the 21st century) about 6:00pm for a refreshing sundowner, thinking of the old days in Malaya. Good days, those, made even better by the gin pahit in your hand.

Ensure that your punkah wallah is on duty. (And, of course, that he addresses you as Tuan.)




Morante -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 29 2020 16:21:22)

Hola maestro Ricardo

next time u are in Andalucía, try Rives Black label; it is an extraordinary gin. Best with the peel of a whole lemon hung from the rim of the glass. I prefer it with Sprite, but with anything else according to gusto personal.




Ricardo -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 29 2020 17:03:15)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morante

Hola maestro Ricardo

next time u are in Andalucía, try Rives Black label; it is an extraordinary gin. Best with the peel of a whole lemon hung from the rim of the glass. I prefer it with Sprite, but with anything else according to gusto personal.


Morante!!!

I will! In fact that name rings a bell, but it was usually “befeatah con Tony” down there.
Sprite works too of course! Even with manzanilla for a poor man’s rebujito.




Estevan -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Aug. 30 2020 21:49:36)

quote:

it was usually “befeatah con Tony” down there.

A bit of high-level trivia connected to another thread: Many years ago I had lunch with Julian Bream, and his prelude to the meal was "Beefeater and water". Tony was not there. Later that night, he commenced his post-concert unwinding with a double 'wiki' - as they say in Andalú, though of course he was speaking English.




estebanana -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Sep. 4 2020 4:25:43)

quote:

The Long Bar at Raffles Hotel in Singapore uses 2/3 gin to 1/3 Angostura bitters, but of course you use the ratio of gin to Angostura bitters that best suits your taste. Fix yourself a gin pahit and sit out on your verandah (or porch or deck, I forgot that we are in the 21st century) about 6:00pm for a refreshing sundowner, thinking of the old days in Malaya. Good days, those, made even better by the gin pahit in your hand.

Bill


Angostura is a natural with Gin because its similar to the aromatic additives to the fragrant gins. Angostura is made with roots and a bunch of spices.

If the pahit drink too strong-

no tonic, use soda water agua mineral con gas

Yield: makes 1 Cocktail
Ingredients

1 1⁄2 oz. navy-strength gin
1⁄2 lime
10 dashes Angostura bitters
2 oz. tonic or agua con gas
Instructions
Pour gin into an ice-filled rocks glass; squeeze in half a lime and drop into drink. Stir in bitters and tonic.

Possibly a bit too much information here, but I've arrived at this recipe over time and have kept it the same. I have to ensure continuity in the recipe because one of my many mistresses will be making it for me depending on whom I decide to visit any evening. Rather than suffering an uneven taste experience each residence I have a mistress is well provised with gins and tonics, but my taste for tonic has waned in recent years, and thus the preference for agua mineral con gas.




davewphx -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Sep. 4 2020 14:56:50)

Estevan, you inspired me to get a bottle of Beefeater. Arizona seems to have no shortage of tonic water, but alas the Schweppes that I bought is too sweet for me now. I may have to go to the seltzer water route of estebanana.....




Richard Jernigan -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Sep. 5 2020 20:48:12)

I am clearly only an amateur when it comes to gin.

Looking back I find that besides a wife or girlfriend I have always had a female (platonic) best friend, since I was six years old. As an Air Force brat and generally itinerant person, there have been more than one.

In the '60s in Austin, I would drop in unannounced on my friends Pat and Jeanie. There were eight or ten of us on such terms, an improvised family. Jeanie would lift an eyebrow. If I nodded, she would pour a Tanqueray and Schweppes, with a squeeze of fresh lime, set out a bowl of peanuts, and sit down at the table to discuss the way of the world.

Last September Pat passed away. I went to Juneau, Alaska for the funeral. The afternoon I arrived a friend picked me up at the airport and took me to Jeanie's house up on the hill. After we walked in Jeanie gave me a hug, then lifted an eyebrow. I nodded, she went to the kitchen and reappeared with a Tanquery/tonic, and a bowl of peanuts. We sat down at the table.

It was as if fifty years had passed in the blink of an eye.

RNJ




RobF -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Sep. 5 2020 22:01:54)

...and we never stop learning. This thread inspired me to try something different last night so I cut the tonic with about a third of agua con gas and added a couple of healthy splashes of Angostura. Very tasty. The bitters marry well with the tonic and gin.




BarkellWH -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Sep. 5 2020 22:38:17)

quote:

...and we never stop learning. This thread inspired me to try something different last night so I cut the tonic with about a third of agua con gas and added a couple of healthy splashes of Angostura. Very tasty. The bitters marry well with the tonic and gin.


I hope you enjoyed it on the verandah. No doubt you were dressed for dinner later at the club, which was hosting the District Officer who is making his rounds of the rubber plantations. The talk, of course, is of a planter up-country who was stabbed by one of his tappers who apparently had run amok.

Bill




estebanana -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Sep. 6 2020 2:45:06)

quote:


I hope you enjoyed it on the verandah. No doubt you were dressed for dinner later at the club, which was hosting the District Officer who is making his rounds of the rubber plantations. The talk, of course, is of a planter up-country who was stabbed by one of his tappers who apparently had run amok.


Hell of a thing there Barkell, I heard about that. Have to admire the stabbing chap as that planter was brute. Reminds me of an incident that happened when I was a boy sent to live with my uncle the mercantile exchange man in the Upper Effendi. Why there was a crooked planter there who went absolutely king of Belgium on his workers. One day they tied him upside down to a rubber tree and carved him open with the lid from a tin can and shard of broken gin bottle. They kept him alive three days whilst they filleted him like a Christmas goose. It’s said he was so foul an individual that the local police refused to visit the property during the flaying.

My uncle said let that be a lesson to you, don’t be stingy with the gin.




RobF -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Sep. 6 2020 3:00:36)

quote:

...with the lid from a tin can and shard of broken gin bottle.

Egads! How distressing to associate two of the mainstay tools of our craft with such a macabre tale. Could not a thorough shellacking have sufficed?




estebanana -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Sep. 6 2020 7:18:05)

quote:

gads! How distressing to associate two of the mainstay tools of our craft with such a macabre tale. Could not a thorough shellacking have sufficed?


True, true, nothing scrapes down ribs like a fresh shard of a Bombay bottle.




estebanana -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Nov. 4 2020 13:11:42)

I know this may not be the place to look, but I’m still seeking that Swiss clinic that does thumb replacement operations.




Richard Jernigan -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Nov. 5 2020 2:45:51)

You are evidently unaware of the "straw hat" process for changing the shape of your thumbnail. It requires a 4-poster bed, a straw hat and 1 liter of gin of your choice, at least 80 proof. 90 proof would be better.

The procedure is as follows.

1. Place straw hat on one of the bedposts at the foot of the bed.

2. Climb into the bed, make yourself comfortable, assuring a clear view of the two bedposts at the foot of the bed..

3. Drink a hefty shot of gin.

4. Look at the straw hat.

5. Repeat steps 3 and 4 until there is a straw hat on each of the two bedposts at the foot of the bed.

You may ask, how does this change the shape of your thumbnail? In fact, it does not. But if the procedure is faithfully executed, you will no longer be concerned about the shape of your thumbnail.

You are welcome,

RNJ




estebanana -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Nov. 5 2020 7:30:40)

Jernigan, my word that’s brilliant.
Question, can Texas bluebonnets be used as herbals to add to the gin?




Richard Jernigan -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Nov. 5 2020 19:06:34)

quote:

ORIGINAL: estebanana

Question, can Texas bluebonnets be used as herbals to add to the gin?


I should think so. However this is a theoretical response, untested by personal experience.

Empirical evidence supports the straw hat process.

RNJ




Estevan -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Dec. 23 2020 1:01:52)

quote:

You are evidently unaware of the "straw hat" process for changing the shape of your thumbnail. It requires a 4-poster bed, a straw hat and 1 liter of gin of your choice, at least 80 proof. 90 proof would be better.

The procedure is as follows.

That is a piece of real American folklore! Apparently the method can be adapted to various purposes.
I first heard it, handed down as a cold remedy, from the great folksinger and story teller Michael Cooney, who was my upstairs neighbour for a while. We used to hear each other practising. It was a nice time.




Richard Jernigan -> RE: Shortage of Tonic Water (Dec. 24 2020 1:25:38)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Estevan

quote:

You are evidently unaware of the "straw hat" process for changing the shape of your thumbnail. It requires a 4-poster bed, a straw hat and 1 liter of gin of your choice, at least 80 proof. 90 proof would be better.

The procedure is as follows.

That is a piece of real American folklore! Apparently the method can be adapted to various purposes.
I first heard it, handed down as a cold remedy, from the great folksinger and story teller Michael Cooney, who was my upstairs neighbour for a while. We used to hear each other practising. It was a nice time.


Yes, I heard it from my grandfather Neville Jernigan, as a cold remedy employing Bourbon whiskey. Grandfather was born in 1882. He attributed the straw hat cure to his father William Hunsdon Jernigan, born 1831, using the same spirit.

RNJ




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