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El Kiko -> Can you handle the truth ...?? (Mar. 31 2014 11:48:56)
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Following on from another thread about what people think of Flamenco ...I suppose its time to let you all in on ....
The true and verdad invention of flamenco
....like the kind of stuff you can’t find in books ...or even in Spain (assuming that Spain is a real country)
One day, a long time ago ...like in the 1950's or something ....there was this guy called Juan..I think ...and he was a bit of a lazy cabrón anyway, and so one day he was out sitting under a tree in ''Spain ‘‘doing absolutely sweet Fk all.
He had an old acoustic guitar with him as that was all he could afford...what with not working and everything...
So ,...he was practicing his first chord ...E maj and basically just moving that up and down , when a fly landed on his guitar ...So , he hit it ..Or ...he tried to anyway, but the Spanish fly was all just too quick for him ...he was gone, and yet soon back to bug him and land on his guitar again ....
Not wishing to loose valuable practice time with his, now movable and multi-functional, E maj chord ...he just kept on trying to hit the fly in between chords now and then...You know it was one of them flies that , like , lands on your nose and then you brush it away and it lands on your cheek .. and then back on your nose again ...and is irritatingly persistent,. Anyone who has lived in a country that has ..A).. Heat ...and B) Sh1t ... would have came across flies like that ....Anyway, I digress..
Soon a friend of his ..Possibly also called Juan ...yeah, lets keep it simple and call all the protagonists Juan...so Juan (2) came along and said ''Hey man ...what are you doing?'' ..but like in Spanish language stuff, probably ..like ..''Que pasa tronco ..'' .and all that, and was speaking with a one of those upside down question marks that I don’t know how to pronounce ..¿ and letters like n's with a little wigglely 'manitas de plata ' above it ..like that ñ..
Juan (1) said ' I'm like trying to learn this chord, but the flies here are really persistent, and fast, and sooo annoying ''
So Juan (2) said (actually I think I'll change his name to Jose ..as it’s too confusing to have 2 Juan’s ....) So anyway Jose said ''That’s Ok man ..I'll sort that out for you , I know how to get them fickers , I’m really quick ..The trick is to wait a bit and then just clap your hands together and you could get 2 at a time ...''
But , After a short while of clapping and banging and playing, Jose started shouting ''ay ay ay ay'' ...and just at that moment another friend of theirs came along ... a young girl called Maria ...she too could speak with ñ and ¿....''??ñ¿whats goiñg on añd what you shoutiñg about ??ñ¿'' she asked ...
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‘‘It’s ñot the flies that are bugging me '' said Jose '' it’s the ants,''There’s a sh1t load of them all over here ''
''Also'' he added ‘‘if I stand still long enough there are all over my sandals and feet ...and these guys bite ...''
'I’ll get them ' shouted Maria. .who had a fear of insects .. So she lifted the edge of her skirt up and started stamping all over the place to get as many as she could ...
Suddenly amongst all the clapping and stamping and flies and guitar hitting and shouting ...they realized they might have just invented something.....
‘‘Yeah '' said Juan '' but if we tell anyone how we did it ..They just won’t believe us ...''
‘‘And ''said Jose '' it wont catch on much anyway ''
True story............
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