A velvet vagina ?

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A velvet vagina ?

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Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

A velvet vagina ?

I had to share this lol...One of the dancers went to see a Joaquin Cortes concert...its the one about his life...

Apparently he comes on stage through a giant red velvet vagina

and i am trying really really hard to imagine it !!

all autobiographies should start that way ! i would get myself more educated about other peoples lifes...just not enough vaginas in stage props this days...people forghet where they came from ...I feel they could have taken it further too, his dad wasent represented and that is a litlle sexist...but i can sort of understand why not.

imagine if there was an accident and the props felled on him and injured him lol ...he probably wanted to avoid that news headline "Oil prices set to go up again and dancer Joaquin Cortes

gets injured during a performance last night when a giant penus collapsed on top of him, stay tuned for the story after this mesages.."

hehe i am loughing at my own jokes but if i was a comedian this would be gold .. i can go on forever with this ...." it took the safety officers on call up to 5 minutes to set mr Cortes free...or however long it takes to finish a cigaret.." pshh

I been searching for photos on the net about this concert...i cant find anything if anyone has anything or knows anything or has seen it...tell me !!

i want to know everything, how was it ..

I want to see the velvet Vagina !! if its the last one i see..i wanna see this one !

wouldnt surrprise me if this was from the show ?

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 6:38:28

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

hes done everything, theres no more clothes left to take off and i am starting to get worried about what he gonna do next..

. nNouU.

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 7:17:30

Pimientito

Posts: 2481
Joined: Jul. 30 2007
From: Marbella

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

quote:

I feel they could have taken it further too

You mean he didnt re-enact his own conception!!
While he was at it, couldnt he have bought Naomi Campbell into the show to re-enact his love life somewhere too.

Dude - thats the funniest thing I've heard this week!! Having a semi serious accident on stage in a model of your mums vagina has got to be the basis for a new Almodovar movie as far as I'm concerned.

Sometimes the flamencos take themselves WAY WAY too seriously.
I remember seeing Juan Andres Maya doing a sort of flamenco passion play which ended up as a kind of live homo erotic sado maschist fantasy where he was being whipped by two bare chested greased up romans and then tied to a cross. Kate will back me up here.....it was terrible and so NOT NOT flamenco...yet somehow he got away with with it. I was cringing in the seat and waiting for it to all be over.

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 11:04:07

Pimientito

Posts: 2481
Joined: Jul. 30 2007
From: Marbella

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Pimientito)

quote:

the basis for a new Almodovar movie

Actually I'm pretty sure thats where he got the idea...remember "Talk to her"

(Warning - Do not open if you are shocked by scenes from Spanish movies.
We Europeans are very wierd)

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 11:15:04

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Pimientito)

quote:

I remember seeing Juan Andres Maya doing a sort of flamenco passion play which ended up as a kind of live homo erotic sado maschist fantasy where he was being whipped by two bare chested greased up romans and then tied to a cross.

did Mel Gibson direct that one too ? i think the gypsies are the only minority left he hasent yet offended.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 11:20:39

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

quote:

remember "Talk to her"

Ive never heard of it...but it looks good !! kind of the European version of " Honey i shrunk the kids"

whats the story is the guy really small or is tyhe woman really big ?

quote:

(Warning - Do not open if you are shocked by scenes from Spanish movies.

I am only shocked if Spanish movies dont contain shocking scenes

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 11:26:27

Pimientito

Posts: 2481
Joined: Jul. 30 2007
From: Marbella

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

quote:

whats the story

The plot of "talk to her" is revolves around a girl in a coma who has a baby.
The guy who is the father is actually the girls nurse and he has to see a therapist who is married to a female bullfighter who gets gored. The girl comes out of the coma and edventually falls in love with the therapist.
Somewhere in the movie a dream sequence (i cant remeber whose) where a man shrinks and shrinks and edventually ends up living inside his wifes vagina.

BTW- this is not the most Bizarre film plot from Spain!!

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 11:34:57

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Pimientito)

quote:

The plot of "talk to her" is revolves around a girl in a coma who has a baby.
The guy who is the father is actually the girls nurse and he has to see a therapist who is married to a female bullfighter who gets gored. The girl comes out of the coma and edventually falls in love with the therapist.

heheh only in europe

thats brillant...i wish we had Eurovision everyday on tv here !!

ps..i think i found photos from Joaquin's show....after the concert he allowed audience to come up on stage and inspect the props

in the memorabilia shop you could even buy necklaces and bracelets made from his umbilical cord.

on a side note while i was checking my spelling for "umbilical cord" and beeing in the images section of google where i found all this photos , i saw some disturbing pictures...it will take some time before i am ever able to think sexualy again

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 11:42:43

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

I hope noone finds this thread offencive and if you do....dont be a pus*y its natural

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 12:25:06

Kate

Posts: 1827
Joined: Jul. 8 2003
From: Living in Granada, Andalucía

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Pimientito)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pimientito
I remember seeing Juan Andres Maya doing a sort of flamenco passion play which ended up as a kind of live homo erotic sado maschist fantasy where he was being whipped by two bare chested greased up romans and then tied to a cross. Kate will back me up here.....it was terrible and so NOT NOT flamenco...yet somehow he got away with with it. I was cringing in the seat and waiting for it to all be over.

The funniest thing was the looks on the guitarists faces. Total embarrassment but you'd think they would be used to him by now.

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 12:27:15

XXX

Posts: 4400
Joined: Apr. 14 2005

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

OMG how can someone be that narcissistic

Apparently he has success on the girls audience with it. It is a sick, sick world we are living in.

Paco only has his little tree on stage, and thats it. On the concert i attended, he even hadnt that. There were only 5 chairs on stage.

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Фламенко

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 12:42:11

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to XXX)

quote:

Apparently he has success on the girls audience with it. .

does he ?? that's terrible !! ...........you know... it wouldnt be totaly untrue if i used one in a gig, i mean..afterall hes not the only one that came out of one

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 12:48:25

koella

Posts: 2194
Joined: Sep. 10 2005
From: holland

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

LOL Flo.
I can't stop laughing.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 12:54:16

koella

Posts: 2194
Joined: Sep. 10 2005
From: holland

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Florian
really ?? that's terrible !! ...........you know... it wouldnt be totaly untrue if i used one in a gig, i mean..afterall hes not the only one that came out of one

Of course you would be the first one that came out with a guitar in his hands.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 12:57:51

XXX

Posts: 4400
Joined: Apr. 14 2005

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

did you ever had the feeling, that you think you are wasting your time with thinking of something really really sick, useless and nonsense, but you cant think of something else?

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Фламенко

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 12:59:49

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to koella)

quote:

Paco only has his little tree on stage, and thats it.

maybe he was adopted

quote:

did you ever had the feeling, that you think you are wasting your time with thinking of something really really sick, useless and nonsense, but you cant think of something else?

Never

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 13:00:04

XXX

Posts: 4400
Joined: Apr. 14 2005

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Florian

maybe he was adopted

... or had a cesarian

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Фламенко

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 13:02:54

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to XXX)

i am acctualy really tired, its really late here but i am scared to go to sleep, all this "props" talk... i am afraid i will have nightmares about large velvet vaginas chasing me

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 13:04:37

XXX

Posts: 4400
Joined: Apr. 14 2005

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

anyways, flo please let me know if you have pictures. I guess you will post them here anyway

if they are not too offensive i guess. Or maybe you will just post them anyway

quote:

i am afraid i will have nightmares about large velvet vaginas chasing me

you had the same dream? or nightmare. .. ah.. yes..

whats props? anyway, bye and good night. (hey its late here too...what coincidence).
its so sick.

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Фламенко

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 13:07:10

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to XXX)

quote:

whats props?

stage props...the things they use to dress a stage, curtains, trees, whatever they use.

quote:

Or maybe you will just post them anyway

Hey dont look at me

...i didnt invent the vagina or the name...its hard to not mention it when you are talking about it in a flamenco context...it was either god or the Spanish that invented it

but atlist i used the biological name, so i tried to keep it as clean as i can ..but its very hard when you are discusing ......well you know

so i might have slipped a litlle, i apologise if anyone is offended

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 13:18:11

kovachian

Posts: 506
Joined: Jan. 30 2008
From: Americanistan

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

LMAO! Oh man, I need a smoke to calm my nerves now.

Would anyone like one?

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 18:50:07

Pgh_flamenco

Posts: 1506
Joined: Dec. 5 2007
From: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

quote:

Apparently he comes on stage through a giant red velvet vagina

Reminds me of the movie "Spinal Tap."

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 15 2008 19:55:06

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to kovachian)

quote:

Would anyone like one?

UH yeah let me get my lips around those babyes

quote:

Reminds me of the movie "Spinal Tap."

heheh yeah

Joaquin = Nigel

if i was in tv, id do a reality show on him where i get the camers to follow him around all day to see what he gets up too

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 16 2008 10:57:04

Haizum

Posts: 43
Joined: Apr. 21 2008
From: York, England

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

Well, thats the most surreal ten mins I have spent on this site. And I am now blind

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 24 2008 9:43:26

Ailsa

Posts: 2277
Joined: Apr. 17 2007
From: South East England

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

Guys I haven't joined in this thread so far because I've been feeling a bit confused. I mean, aren't all vaginas velvet?

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 24 2008 11:07:15

koella

Posts: 2194
Joined: Sep. 10 2005
From: holland

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Ailsa)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ailsa
aren't all vaginas velvet?

I would say it must be, when there's an entire dancer stuck in it.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 24 2008 11:25:59

Estevan

Posts: 1936
Joined: Dec. 20 2006
From: Torontolucía

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Haizum)

quote:

Well, thats the most surreal ten mins I have spent on this site. And I am now blind

Welcome back, mate!

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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 24 2008 11:57:21

Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Ailsa)

quote:

Guys I haven't joined in this thread so far because I've been feeling a bit confused. I mean, aren't all vaginas velvet?

Phew...I've just returned from running my head under the cold tap here....

Stop it Ailsa, the last thing we need here is your comments.

Anyway...
Back to the "other" stuff....ie Flamenco...

This rasgueado thing is worth looking at closely.
I'd say forget looking at playing rasgueado as some sort of a "set piece"....that you start on a certain finger and finish on a certain finger etc.

I'm not an expert, but I reckon that the idea of trying to get independence of the fingers, like mark indigo seconded is the key to kind of "generalise" this technique without getting too caught up in how it is executed is the way to go.

This is an example of a Tomatito thing I tried a while back and it would have been impossible for me to do if I had thought about rasgueado cycles having beginnings and ends on certain beats or fingers.

I just basically forgot about technique and just tried to get into the rhythm.

make sense?

cheers,

Ron

Sorry this is in the wrong thread....
I'll go and run my head under the cold tap again...

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 24 2008 12:16:37

Florian

Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Florian)

quote:

Guys I haven't joined in this thread so far because I've been feeling a bit confused. I mean, aren't all vaginas velvet?

I dont know...it hard to tell from the magazines and movies

quote:

Well, thats the most surreal ten mins I have spent on this site. And I am now blind

well I am sorry but it is your own fault.. you shouldnt bring that kind of thinking here and shouldnt have been doing that ....this is a flamenco forum

.....everybody knows you go bind if you eep oing it oo much...

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 24 2008 17:01:53

Haizum

Posts: 43
Joined: Apr. 21 2008
From: York, England

RE: A velvet vagina ? (in reply to Estevan)

Cheers Estevan. I got banned from playing guitar

Flo, I put the blame wholly on you dude.

REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE | Date Oct. 25 2008 2:52:06

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