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RE: My baby left me   You are logged in as Guest
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Anders Eliasson

Posts: 5780
Joined: Oct. 18 2006
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Come on Ron.

Do as Simon says... Stay away from drink. AND get out of that bed. It doesnt help you at all lying there. We all need to whine and feel sorry for ourselfs but we also have stop and I think you´ve been there long enough. Its 6 month or so? Get out of the house. Walk around. Go down to the North Sea and throw a stone in the water. Believe me it helps. Try to see if you can find someone to talk to. If there´s noone else, call some of the helpphones that I´m sure exist where you are.
I´m very sorry to hear you cry of help and it worries me. ^Please take it easy. But at the same time I´m hard on you because YOU are the one to choose. YOU have a life although it can be hard to see it now.
AND:::: WE MISS YOU HERE..... And thank you a lot for posting this thread. It gives me the hope that you want to come out of you horrible situation.

I might be a little rough on you. But thats what I was taught to be.

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  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 8:15:14
 
michel

Posts: 315
Joined: Apr. 14 2008
From: france

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Anders Eliasson

quote:

AND:::: WE MISS YOU HERE.....

true!
my thoughts are with you Ron, wish you all the best.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 8:33:39
 
aleksi

Posts: 528
Joined: Nov. 10 2008
From: Helsinki, Finland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Oh thats horrible!
Stay strong Ron and remember to breathe! That small thing always helps me in difficult times so I hope it will help you also.
take care man
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 9:22:49
 
Argaith

Posts: 480
Joined: May 6 2009
From: Iran (living in London)

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Anders Eliasson

Sorry to hear the bad news Ron, life can be a bitch:(

A fellow guitarist mate of mine had a similar experience. It was during university days which obviously we were all drunk most of the times anyway. Among mates, we all went cold turkey on the buzz to encourage him not to drink too. Also, we kept company with him. He played a lot guitar during those days and his work was the most soulful music you'd ever hear.
He moved on eventually; married a nice girl and even got two kids with her. Still together and happy as far as I know.

Don't stay at home lonely and do play your guitar mate, that'll help you a lot.

Good luck,
A

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  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 9:54:32
 
krichards

Posts: 597
Joined: Jan. 14 2007
From: York, England

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

I've been happily married for 35 years myself and I'm trying to imagine how you must feel. It must be very tough.
Whatever happens, the trick is to turn it to advantage in some way. Turn the negative thing into a positive, however difficult it might seem, at first.

When things get better for you it'll be great to have you posting here on the forum again. Its not the same without you.

_____________________________

Kevin Richards

http://www.facebook.com/#!/kevin.richards.1048554
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 11:06:35
 
Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Argaith

My heart is breaking.
I waited so long to find her
I cant live without her
She was the love of my life.
She's now with somebody else.
What am I to do now?
I just want to curl up and die...so many memories with her.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 12:02:48
 
Anders Eliasson

Posts: 5780
Joined: Oct. 18 2006
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Anders Eliasson

I´m glad you write what you´re going through here on forum. It shows me that you want to go on, that you dont wanna sit there being drunk and writing sad poetry.

If thats what you have to do, do it. Post all your sad poetry here and I´ll read it. I like sad poetry. I´m very sad myself and very depressed, so your sad poetry helps me.
Thanks
Anders

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  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 12:51:08
 
kudo

Posts: 2064
Joined: Sep. 3 2009
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Argaith

quote:

He played a lot guitar during those days and his work was the most soulful music you'd ever hear.
He moved on eventually; married a nice girl and even got two kids with her. Still together and happy as far as I know.

Don't stay at home lonely and do play your guitar mate, that'll help you a lot.

thats EXACTLY what i was trying to say. jondo palos will help you a lot and they will sound great enough to be recorded

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  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 13:15:38
 
Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to kudo

I know I'm going to vomit my guts up tomorrow.
Too much drink.
Will life ever be the same?
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 14:37:47
 
Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Anders Eliasson

Anders,
I know you are in a difficult position yourself
May God bless you and give you hope.
I'm so alone and have to fight back again.
And play some Flamenco again.
I know one day I will be in Huelva and come and see you at your workshop.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 14:45:55
 
akatune

 

Posts: 188
Joined: Mar. 28 2008
 

[Deleted] 

Post has been moved to the Recycle Bin at Jan. 11 2013 17:37:32
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 14:47:38
 
henrym3483

Posts: 1567
Joined: Nov. 13 2005
From: Limerick,Ireland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to akatune

life wont be the same ron, but it'llbe better than it is now. onwards and upwards and onto better things.

god bless and lay off the gargle, it dims the brain and makes you even more unhappy.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 15:02:13
 
Elie

Posts: 1837
Joined: Apr. 10 2010
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Hey Ron,
you know we all love you here ... you have helped mots of us and we all wish that you get back to what you used to be, and I hope you don't bear a grudge against me for what I'm going to say (as I was given this speech before).
you said that your wife left you for someone else so probably she's smiling and having fun now with that someone and not thinking about you while you're suffering here ( i know its hard but it happened ) don't let that happen as she chose to be with someone else, you didn't do anything wrong .. it was betraying from her side. don't be sad while she's happy, just start again and live your life ... maybe in the coming days you will figure out that this happened for your own good and you'll meet a better girl.
sorry if I said something not nice..
wish the best luck

_____________________________

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  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 15:21:22
 
mrMagenta

Posts: 942
Joined: Oct. 25 2006
From: Sweden

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Anders Eliasson

Sad Poetry: Yes! Music: Yes!
But I'll echo your many friends here and say: Easy with the drink.

I can really sympathise with the feeling that ANY sort of relief is welcome, but if you cloud your mind beyond a certain point, you won't be sober enough to pick up on the good things that will, eventually, come in the wake of these heavy changes.

That said.. no one is immune to hard times, and the idea that everyone can and should make themselves perpetually happy by 'positive thinking' is something i react against. feelings of sadness and sorrow are NOT something you should hide in secret from your friends in some misguided attempt to spare them.

I wish you strength.


this is a video of bert jansch that I like. I'm sure you've seen it, but I'd still like to share it with you.

  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 16:35:58
 
Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to mrMagenta

Thanks guys for your help.
This is the song I keep hearing in my head.
"May you never lay your head down without a hand to hold
May you never make your bed out in the cold
And
May you never lose your woman overnight."
I am so heartbroken.
He wrote this song after his wife, Beverly left him.

It's all come so true now.
John was a friend of mine back in Glasgow




I've lost everything.

  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 17:01:56
 
BarkellWH

Posts: 3387
Joined: Jul. 12 2009
From: Washington, DC

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Ron--At first it's hard to accept, but she clearly was not the person of character you thought she was, or at least not the person she may once have been. From your posts, I assume that her betrayal was a shock to you. After the initial shock wears off, don't let her deceitful action get you down.

As soon as possible, force yourself to get out of the house with your guitar. Find a place, perhaps a local pub or some such venue, and play some flamenco. Saunter in as if you had been practicing nearby and wanted a brew. You know how people are attracted to a guy who plays flamenco guitar. And regardless of your age, women always think a guy playing the guitar (particularly flamenco, even though they may not know a damn thing about it) is pretty cool. Before long, you will be the center of attention, and have a couple of phone numbers as well. And after a bit longer, you will wonder what the fuss was all about.

Cheers,

Bill

_____________________________

And the end of the fight is a tombstone white,
With the name of the late deceased,
And the epitaph drear, "A fool lies here,
Who tried to hustle the East."

--Rudyard Kipling
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 18:04:00
 
estebanana

Posts: 8672
Joined: Oct. 16 2009
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Anders Eliasson

Damn you Ron, I have not had a decent smart ass interlocutor on this farking foro since you went underground. Anders is the only devil who comes close to you but he's not you.

Now if I lived near you I would take you on a three day, three night drinking spree and I would try to kill you out of yourself pity by drinking your sorry ass under the boards for a straight 72 hours. Then I would dump your liquor soaked carcass on your front door step and walk drunkenly home. Then the next day I would come back to your house to see you having the MOTHER OF ALL HANGOVERS and I would point at you and say: "See how that feels? How about let's go have a drink and get drunk and this hangover will go away."

Then I would scoop you up and march you on a another tour of down low open till 6 in the morning bars full of other pathetic guys like us and I would get you so pissed it would make Dylan Thomas look like a dry church lady. After another day of that I would pull out my hunting knife, which I always keep strapped to my ankle, and I would cut both our palms open and shake hands with you and make you recite a drinkers death pact of blood. Thus fortified to greet any mayhem face on we would go to a concert of death metal music and jump on stage and grab the guitars away from the musicians. Then we would assault all the people in the club with sonic angst mind control music and turn them to flamenco zombies. ( the worst kind)

We would then drink much, much more and unleash our zombies to eat the brains out of all the children we can find. Once every preteen brain has been consumed, we'll start in on the business men. We'll make more zombies of them and steal their credit cards to buy more booze and huge sailing vessels. Then we will launch a flamenco zombie attack on America and sail to the New World to make our zombies eat the flesh and brains of every man, woman and child in Arkansas.

Then we will get drunkerer still and hijack an airliner to NASA head quarters and steal the Space Shuttle. Humans being stupid sods do not have enough brains to satisfy the organ lust of our zombies. To sate the lust for brains of our undead army, we will drunkenly rage through the galaxy searching for life forms with big enough brains to feed our zombies.

I would go on that endless intoxicated zombie feeding journey with you pal, because I know how it can feel when the holidays are coming on. I the mean time don't make me fly over there and haul you out to get some assistance with getting through the holidays.

_____________________________

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  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 18:18:04
 
flyeogh

Posts: 729
Joined: Oct. 13 2004
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Anders Eliasson

Ron I only come here once in a blue moon these days, and what a blue moon it is. But as all your friends above have said the sun will rise tomorrow.

There are some very special people here Ron, see above, but some are a little more special than others. You're one of them. Since 2004 you forced me to conquer the F shape, introduced me to Jim for my Alegrias lesson prior to my nerve racking dance accompaniment, kept the peace when war broke out, got my timing better with the beat, and much more.

So many thanks for that but please don't forget all those you need to help in the future. They're waiting for you.

Mucha fuerza amigo

_____________________________

nigel (el raton de Watford - now Puerto de Santa Maria, Cadiz)
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 18:39:50
 
estebanana

Posts: 8672
Joined: Oct. 16 2009
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Anders Eliasson

Flamenco Zombies........braaaaaaaiins we want braaaaaains!

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https://www.stephenfaulkguitars.com
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 19:01:44
 
Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to estebanana

Stephen and other friends...I don't know if I can make it but I'll try.
The song I always remember when we first met was "Thank you for being a friend"
by Andrew Gold I was so happy then.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 20:42:01
 
Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

In the wee small hours of the morning...that's the time you miss her most of all.
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 20:54:59
 
estebanana

Posts: 8672
Joined: Oct. 16 2009
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Anders Eliasson

Ron,

Please don't isolate yourself over the holidays. Make some calls to people who you like and have not seen for a while. Make some visits and have them come over.

You don't have to tough this out alone, make an appointment to see a therapist and talk about this if you have not already done so. The holidays are the toughest times to get through breakups. The first holiday season is the hardest, you'll get through this season and it will go easier next time. You never know you might even have met someone new by then. That won't make the past go away, but it will make you look forward.

Please don't feel like you have to get through this alone, seek out help both professionally an from friends. And you always know can write me at my private email if you want. Surround yourself with people who care and don't retreat.

_____________________________

https://www.stephenfaulkguitars.com
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 18 2011 22:25:29
 
Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to estebanana

I guess I have to face the fact that she no longer loves me or wants me.
My heart is so broken.
So hard after 33 years together.
I am thinking about going to Jerez to live the rest of my days.
Thank you for all your friendship.
I loved coming on this site
Simon saved us from absolutely nothing after FT closed down.
He is a true gentleman.
And I love all of the people here.
They made the world for me.
Every one of you.
You all mean something to me
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 19 2011 4:33:51
 
Chilli Fingers

 

Posts: 79
Joined: Sep. 21 2010
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

quote:

I am thinking about going to Jerez to live the rest of my days.


If you have the funds that could be a great idea, change of scenery, leave all that behind you. Its terrible how woman can be so cold.

You scots are tough bastards, if you can survive walking the streets of glascow you can survive anything. I think you will overcome this and come out stronger
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 19 2011 5:09:58
 
Ricardo

Posts: 13684
Joined: Dec. 14 2004
From: Washington DC

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

quote:

So hard after 33 years together.
I am thinking about going to Jerez to live the rest of my days.
Thank you for all your friendship.


Good plan. I will see you there sometime I promise. Meanwhile feel free to meet me on skype and maybe we can play some guitar face to face.

Life is a roller coaster I have learned. You may be down now, but you will be up again as long as you stay in your seat and hold on.

Ricardo

_____________________________

CD's and transcriptions available here:
www.ricardomarlow.com
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 19 2011 10:24:52
 
gerundino63

Posts: 1711
Joined: Jul. 11 2003
From: The Netherlands

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

Sorry to hear Ron
Live can be tough....

Changing of surroundings can do wonder, so why don't you visit your frends and travel a bit?
You are very welcome in our house to stay for a few days in Holland, maybe other foro members have the same idear.

So you can make a big trip, it will cost not too much, you can eat and sleep in our home.
After a few days I can bring you to the next place let say belguim or germany, and so on.....

Keep strong....

Peter

_____________________________

  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 19 2011 12:03:23
 
henrym3483

Posts: 1567
Joined: Nov. 13 2005
From: Limerick,Ireland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M

quote:

I am thinking about going to Jerez to live the rest of my days.
Thank you for all your friendship.


ron, sounds like a good plan-make the most of the situation and if you need any help with the move or advice let me know. hopefully i can see you in the new year as i intend to visit scotland.

un abrazo fuerte amigo

Harry
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 19 2011 12:36:31
 
Ron.M

Posts: 7051
Joined: Jul. 7 2003
From: Scotland

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ricardo

Thanks Ricardo I don't know what to do anymore
You are such an amazing flamenco player..
My heart is so full of pain I miss her so much.
I'm so much on the floor, I don't think I can make it anymore.
Maybe pain is the way to get substance into your work.
I love you man...do you remeber the dream I had of being in DC with you?

Love you man,

Ron
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 19 2011 13:36:40
 
Ruphus

Posts: 3782
Joined: Nov. 18 2010
 

RE: My baby left me (in reply to Anders Eliasson

I´m late to this thread ( first thought it to be about someone having losts / sold a guitar; then, after actually looking into it, there was no time to adequately gather thoughts).

There is nothing that I could add to the comments above, which all are on spot, eventhough being so different from each other.

I only want o say that it really touched me to read of what happened to you, Ron. And I talked about it to my best friend last night ( who BTW is about to separate from his wife himself, after 25 years and two kids; which however differs in that his wife is a true bonehead eversince / him facing the situation "stable" to a degree ).

Had it a couple of times myself, with relationships that had been of some years each. And while the situations were unspeakably for me, yours after so many ears without question must be without words.

I used to distract myself, mingle with people around and in the city ( years of being barfly ).
When wrecked like that, likely turning from an entertaining person to just a blury shadow of oneself, apparently the surrounding chaff gets divided from the wheat ( as we say in German ).
And sometimes it is surprising to see who of whom you thought to be dear friends turn out to be indifferent, and who on the other hand show to be attentive and supportive eventhough you ( now ashamed) used to consider them only peripheral in your personal surrounding.

What helped a bit practically was the awareness that time passing changes a lot / future can bear chances that one just can´t imagine during the black hole situation.

Another very importaint point that become clear to me is that whether being engaged with some action or not, makes a world of a difference.
For, with the privilege of dedicating himself to some kind of work of personal interest or passion, one shows to suffer less and recover much faster .


Stranded relationships tought me about my shortcomings and helped me with learning a lot, but looking back also had me realize sober shortcomings of some of my ex-girlfriends.
With today, through the distance wondering how some of them could have me crash at all. ( Actually, appreciating in the aftermath that there occured parting from partners who certainly admirable, personable and impressive with their individual strengths, just weren´t the type of spirit that actually fits well to an individual bloke like me.)

Some failure of relationships might not really have to do with good or bad ( betrayal, unprincipled / unappreciative being etc.), but more often than not there happens something outside of morals frame; noone can be blaimed for. Out of a sudden someone falling in love with someone else ( or just with a fancied image for that matter ), unable to control things for the sake of fairness, justice or reason.

As the one left behind one´s usually devastated. And just as usually you don´t know what to do best about it. Fight to win back, or let go.

Hardly have I seen examples of fighting to bring back the partner for good. Instead countless examples of struggling to retrieve, which only inflated the situation to the opposite.

The vast majority of us, regardless of intellectual achievement, in the end tend to remain ordinary creatures that emotionally function by a law of availability correlation to value. A loving person rather won´t see, nor wants to take notice of how ordinary backgrounds of a beloved individual can be. And things are very understandably being that way.

I like how openly you show your feelings and fragility, hoping in the same time that there be a general tendency towards such unashamed reveal with the zeitgeist.

Whatever your insights and conclusions be, only don´t allow the feeling of inferiourity to come over you.
You have your dignity, and the feedback on the foro at the latest should support realizing that.
After all, of the billions out there, there must be countless of enchanting fairys who would love to share their time and lifes with you, if they only knew of your patent and latent qualities.

Your idea of moving to Andalusia could be a very good one in general.
Just saw a docu that showed the British expat community there, and they seem to socialize pretty well, enjoying themselves in admirable ways.

Going to there is a considered option for me too since years.
Should it become reality one day and the foro still exist, I shall try to find you for zipping some local grape juice and jam a note or two.

Phoenix may rise from the ashes!

Ruphus
  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 19 2011 14:44:47
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  REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |  Date Nov. 19 2011 16:52:18
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