Idiots !! (Full Version)

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Florian -> Idiots !! (Jun. 22 2007 11:55:47)

Sopossed to do a gig tomarow night , somewhere i didnt even wanna do (cause of the guitar i am using) but i needed the money and the dancers tempted me with money up front when i was broke and wanted to go out [:D] ( they know me too well)

Anyway the organisers just told the dancer thursday that they hired the kareooke machine instead of PA [:D][:D][:D]

the only reason they found out is cause they called the sound place back to say something about cables and it was something like:

" - U know the Pa system we hired"
and the music shop said " - U didnt get a Pa you hired a Kareoke machine "

otherwise we wouldnt have known till we showed up, now its not enough time, need to use my mic etc.

Oh I am really looking foward to this one !! bet within 5 minutes wel get asked for the Cuccaracha.... second tought mibe the kareoke machine is a blessing in desquise [:D]




Ailsa -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 22 2007 12:03:17)

[:D][:D] At least you have a sense of humour about it.

I think we should start a new thread - stupid gigs I have played at. I bet most of us have got a few stories.......

A




Florian -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 22 2007 12:07:40)

lol

my best one still was the one where i told a hole table of girls at the front of our restaurant gig to Fu*ck off..

uuuu i got in so much trouble for that [:D][:D]

i am going out now but one day il tell you about it not that theres alot more to tell lol i pretty much allready told you the punchline [8|]




Florian -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 22 2007 12:11:40)

quote:

Fu*ck off


hehehe i like my censorship style [:D]

just so that I dont offend anyone with unecesary vulgar taLK [:)]




Ailsa -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 22 2007 12:17:34)

[:D][:D] I hadn't even noticed that! What I want to know is what these girls did to deserve such abuse from a normally delightful guy [;)] Let me know when you get back!




guitarbuddha -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 22 2007 13:25:18)

I hate when they ask you to play (and sing) songs that you have never heard and then act like you are a phony because you wont. Then you ask them to sing the tune and it becomes clear that they have no musical memory and cant. Or, even more annoying the sing a few notes and you play back EXACTLY what they sang and they say it is wrong. Another favourite is when you accompany someone singing a pop song and they say you are doing it wrong even when you play the same accompaniment and sing the melody to show that it works.

The best in restaurants is when grumpy deaf old women complain that they can't hear what you are saying because the guitarist is too loud. Which is great when you are visiting their table and the music has stopped. Then there are waiters stealing your tips, the chef giving you a meal that a customer has rejected. People who make requests for like the Concerto de Aranjuez and then try and have a conversation with you during it in which they suddenly change their mind and want you to play something else..... People who want Volari people who prefer the shadows version of Cavatina, people who only like music that they have heard before.

Idiots

D.




Florian -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 22 2007 16:56:07)

quote:

from a normally delightful guy


lol I am, every woman inside of meeeeeeeee (singing)[:)]


no kidding, I wouldnt do it for no reason , hope you know me well enogh to know that by now.

they insisted on sitting right at the front next to the stage and were beeing rude, talking all the way trough the show my intros, silent silencios etc. it was ridiculous.

plus i didnt tell em to f*ck off from stage, i sat next to them after the performance and told em... didnt stop em from, complaining to the manager thow lol.


besides they really really deserved it, they will never ever talk again trough someones show..




John O. -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 22 2007 17:12:51)

quote:

I hate when they ask you to play (and sing) songs that you have never heard and then act like you are a phony because you wont. Then you ask them to sing the tune and it becomes clear that they have no musical memory and cant. Or, even more annoying the sing a few notes and you play back EXACTLY what they sang and they say it is wrong. Another favourite is when you accompany someone singing a pop song and they say you are doing it wrong even when you play the same accompaniment and sing the melody to show that it works.

The best in restaurants is when grumpy deaf old women complain that they can't hear what you are saying because the guitarist is too loud. Which is great when you are visiting their table and the music has stopped. Then there are waiters stealing your tips, the chef giving you a meal that a customer has rejected. People who make requests for like the Concerto de Aranjuez and then try and have a conversation with you during it in which they suddenly change their mind and want you to play something else..... People who want Volari people who prefer the shadows version of Cavatina, people who only like music that they have heard before.

Idiots


My favorite story was a student of classical guitar which I had a few lessons. She wanted to learn fandangos, had the notes with her. I told her "Okay, I won't teach it like that, but so that you'll never need notes again."

After the second lesson she asked if I give out receipts for lessons [&:] to which I replied "Sure!" and didn't - that's just the way I am [:D]

After a few lessons she said a singer friend of hers listened to a recording I made and said it didn't sound right. My student wanted the singer to come so I could show how it works with singing. I knew this wouldn't end well, but said okay.

She was singing off a sheet of notes to my playing and getting it wrong every time. Then she showed me "See here, there's a rest". I said "Doesn't matter, it's not fandangos if it doesn't stay in tact". Then she asked if I could play Granainas pulling out another sheet of notes. These must have been somebody's attempt to put freely sung palos on paper, it's at least only explaination I could come up with. Or it was something some classical musician thought sounded similar and just called "Fandango".

They both left, rolling their eyes. Good riddance. Idiots suck.




Ricardo -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 23 2007 4:49:04)

This happend to another local guitarist not me. The dancer had a private show at someone's house, she asked the guitarist what he needed. He said, the only thing HE needed was one microphone for the guitar. She showed up with only that. A single microphone. No stand, amp, cables, speaker, etc. nada. He laughed, "what am I going to do with just that!!???" She said "oh, I dont' know... cant we just plug it into the wall outlet or something??"


[:D][:D][:D]

Many gigs we show up and say we need only a wood stage or wood floor surface for the dancers. They have a wood stage covered with carpet.[8|]

Funniest gig I did for kids in a school gym. They set up the velcro tumble mats as a make shift "dressing room" for the dancer. During my guitar solo the dancer was changing costumes and the mats fell over and the kids were cracking up as the dancer screamed to the teachers for help in her underwear. That was funny.[:D][:D]




Florian -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 23 2007 5:03:05)

quote:

Funniest gig I did for kids in a school gym. They set up the velcro tumble mats as a make shift "dressing room" for the dancer. During my guitar solo the dancer was changing costumes and the mats fell over and the kids were cracking up as the dancer screamed to the teachers for help in her underwear. That was funny.


HAHAHA

that reminds me of the time when the dancers skirt got twisted and got stuck up at the back exposing her underwear for half of the solo, she wasent aware ofcourse, if it hadent been so funny , we would have told her[:D]


Heard a beauty !!!
" A dancer recently in Spain using a shawl pulled the guitarists guitar out of his hands, waving it around (they stoped her and grabbed the guitar) , apparently her face showed no emotion like she meant to do that [8|], then in the same dance ( it was a outside concert) two drunks started to argue [&:][:@](they werent even there for the concert they just happened to walk there) , then one pulled a knife on the other, apparently the crowd just RAN !!![:o][:o] she keped going ofcourse as if none of this was happening [8|]( again cool expression like it was all part of the plan), so now theres only about 20 people brave enough to watch and guess what ? .. the electricity went out LOL! but she keped going all the way trough the end, without sound or ligts [:D][:D][:D]

absolute true story, one of our dancers is there now and she witnesed it. lol talk about bad luck.




edgar884 -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 23 2007 21:05:58)

Great stuff very funny.

I had one show at a local bar where there was a birthday crowd, I knew these people very well but didn't realize it until after the incident.

I was playing Allemande by Bach which by the way is hard enough in a bar with all the background noise, so I realize as I'm playing it that some one threw a blow up sex doll right on the stage in front of me. I stopped in the middle of my song grabbed the doll and smacked the guy right in the face with it really hard. And then I told the bar I bet they couldnt shut up and listen for one song.

They bar went totally silent and they actually listened to the rest of my set and shut there mouths.

Of course at the end of the night we had to laugh about it, I mean it's not very often that blow up dolls and Classical music get to be on the same stage...

[:)]




Ron.M -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 23 2007 21:44:35)

Edgar,
That's awful man...complete disrespect.[:@]
But that's the way the world is these days man..
I know you are a fantastic guitarist...it's terrible to have to put up with that.
I guess it's just one of those "life experiences" IMO...
I bet a member of the audience is telling the story about this guy playing classical guitar on stage and somebody let this blow-up doll go and everyone will laugh.

Still, not so bad man..laughing is better than people shooting each other....

With my own personality, I'd have quietly put the guitar down, unzipped my flies and ****** the doll..[:D][:D][:D]

Always better upping the ante in these situations IMO..
At least you leave with dignity.

cheers

Ron




koella -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 23 2007 22:26:31)

That's a funny story Gabriel.[:D]

Ron, you dirty bastard.[&:]




Ron.M -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 23 2007 22:59:27)

That's the reaction I'd hope to get out of the crowd as well.
If not, then who cares...[:D]

cheers

Ron




Mark2 -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 24 2007 0:09:48)

Gabe, that was funny as sh*t! Wish I had a vid of you wapping the guy with the doll. That was great that you said that too.




edgar884 -> RE: Idiots !! (Jun. 26 2007 0:06:25)

Yeh I like that story myself[:D]




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