MAINTAINING FORUM STANDARDS... (Full Version)

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JBASHORUN -> MAINTAINING FORUM STANDARDS... (Apr. 29 2006 17:00:32)

Due to recent events on the forum, there has been some unsettlement, which resulted in some members leaving the forum (I'm told more than one).

I think this would be a good opportunity for all our members to step back and reflect on things. I'm not pointing any fingers here, because I'm just as guilty as anyone else. But I remember Skai (Cheston) once commented on what made this forum special and unique compared to many others. And Thomas Whitely also mentioned that forum standards need to be carefully maintained.

It is often easy to get carried away on a subject, and offend others (intentionally or otherwise). I think we need to exercise respect at all times for our fellow members, if we are to make this forum a positive and welcoming place. Its just an opinion, but perhaps we should also extend our respect to fellow musicians. Whether we like a musician or not, I think our time can be better spent working CONstructively than DEstructively. And as I say, I'm the first to admit fault here, because its easy to use the forum to b*tch about things we don't like and let off steam.

I think its all about respect and courtesy... to everyone concerned. That is one of the major things that will make this forum better than most of the others. Another is keeping to the subject... I personally plan to make far less off-topic posts in future. At least unless they are very interesting.

I will also be exercising a "think twice, post once" rule to prevent myself from bringing too much negativity into the forum.

Sorry to raise this issue again, but I do respect some of the members who recently left the forum. I know its also important not to be over-sensitive, and get offended by any minor comment. But I think with a little thought, all of us can make this forum a great place.


Cheers,


James



fevictor -> RE: MAINTAINING FORUM STANDARDS... (Apr. 29 2006 20:20:40)

James,

That was a well written, well thought-out post. I agree with everything you wrote and I'm glad you posted it; the timing couldn't have been better. I'd hate to think that people with so much talent would start to leave the forum, since they've all been so friendly and helpfull.

Saludos a todos.



Ron.M -> RE: MAINTAINING FORUM STANDARDS... (Apr. 29 2006 21:04:28)

Well said James,
There has been a few things that have made me flinch over the past few weeks.
The main thing is to discuss the IDEA not the PERSON.
If folk would adhere to that then there would be no problem.

For instance...Thomas Whiteley has been a good contributor to beginners in Flamenco guitar on the Net over the years, and I thought he was quite unneccessarlily put down by certain recent posts by younger and more "hip" members. That bugged me.

Again...if Florian wants to take the huff about something I never said, but koella reckoned I said...then what can I do about it?...Jeez!

If folk want to leave, then it's their own personal choice.
They were probably going to leave or at least take a break anyway.

The number of people I've seen writing their "suicide" notes on sites, only to come back again...[:D]

The Forum isn't going to wind up because of a few folk taking the miff.. (over some things they have even started themselves!)

There is new talent and contributors and great information coming in all the time..
If they want to miss out then ...OK.

Trust me.

cheers

Ron



Miguel de Maria -> RE: MAINTAINING FORUM STANDARDS... (Apr. 29 2006 23:49:11)

Hmmm... don't know what to say, except I have never liked "suicide notes" either (good one Ron). If someone doesn't like it here, they should just leave. I have left several forums and I certainly didn't pen a "call for help" upon erasing the url from my Favorites...forever!

I think it works pretty well here as we are more or less self-policed. I have noticed there are troublemakers who come on and get into arguments more or less quite quickly. I remember a guy came on here and started throwing the "puro" word around, and when I argued with him about it, started quite a conflagration. Where is he now? He came, he caused trouble, he left.

I for one am more than happy to put up with Florian saying something "un-PC" because he has contributed a lot to this site, in the time he has put in, the attempts to unify members here through jams, etc., and all-around helpful attitude. If he and Tom don't get around, then I'm sure they'll just learn to avoid each other. Tom is a big boy.

I think one of the charms of this site is the relaxed feel here, where people feel they can say what they like (more or less). Of course, this led to the Sorinblog, but that played itself out, didn't it? The people who like it here will stay and contribute, and the others will go somewhere else.



JBASHORUN -> RE: MAINTAINING FORUM STANDARDS... (Apr. 29 2006 23:51:50)

quote:

For instance...Thomas Whiteley has been a good contributor to beginners in Flamenco guitar on the Net over the years, and I thought he was quite unneccessarlily put down by certain recent posts by younger and more "hip" members. That bugged me.


Ron, I think I noticed that too. I suppose I just feel its important not to offend or mock others if we can help it- its just a bad habit. Yes, the forum will probably be up and running as long as Simon has the generosity to support it. But the quality (and respectability) of the content within is something our members have control of, and must ultimately decide upon. I spoke to Nigel via email and he thought the whole JM debate was pointless to start with. Not only did he feel it was mainly subjective, but that the essence of the topic could have been demonstrated better in other ways. He also thought that the forum moderators were not quick enough to spot the can of worms and end the debate before things got unpleasant. I'm not assigning blame to any parties, because I think we ALL have this responsibility to keep the forum running smoothly. I think Nigel was partly just upset because he's close to JM. But this isn't the first/only occasion things have have got silly. Everyone is free to leave the forum at will, and some will do so anyway. but forums usually benefit from having more contributors, and when the people who feel obliged to leave have wisdom or skill regarding Flamenco, we must remember that their absence may be missed in one way or another.

I won't bring it up again, because I'm sure most members aren't particularly interested. But I do hope we can all at least be civil to eachother in future.


Cheers,


Jb



duende -> RE: MAINTAINING FORUM STANDARDS... (Apr. 29 2006 23:55:46)

One can always do what i have done for sometime now. just stick around. Don´t write any PM´s don´t start threads.
Just read and... well enjoy.


a big kiss to ya´ll[:D]



JBASHORUN -> RE: MAINTAINING FORUM STANDARDS... (Apr. 30 2006 0:06:10)

quote:

I for one am more than happy to put up with Florian saying something "un-PC" because he has contributed a lot to this site, in the time he has put in, the attempts to unify members here through jams, etc., and all-around helpful attitude. If he and Tom don't get around, then I'm sure they'll just learn to avoid each other. Tom is a big boy.


Yeah, personally I find Florian very amusing, and there's nothing wrong with a bit of friendly fun. But some people are more sensitive than others, which I feel needs to be respected. Not to the extent that we wrap eachother in cotton wool, and worry excessively about what we say. But definitely to the extent that we have consideration for other people's feelings and views. The world is a harsh place sometimes, and some people don't get on... this is unavoidable. But as long as we all try and be civil to eachother, the forum will run smoothly.

Anyway, I've winged enough for now! [:D]


Jb


Jb



Phil -> RE: MAINTAINING FORUM STANDARDS... (Apr. 30 2006 9:28:19)

I've seen forums crash and burn before. In fact this forum was started because of a fallout at flamenco-teacher when several of us left that forum. I believe problems would be reduced significantly on all forums if people would follow a simple rule: pretend you are talking to the person face to face when you post. I don't think too many people would aggressively insult 6' 7" inch Tom Whitely, for example, in person.

Phil



Doitsujin -> RE: MAINTAINING FORUM STANDARDS... (Apr. 30 2006 11:38:18)

I think we are all grown ups and not dumb. Its a great thing to talk and share flamenco with people who are so far away on the other side of the world. The sad is, that we allways forget to honour that ability. If there are some 13 years old kids again who come here just to start a war, we shoud know it better and just ignore them. To have some conflicts with other forum members is a normal thing.. Just dont take it to serious.
Lets go on sharing, having a good time and lets stop throwing so much attention on small conflicts.. We are only writing.. you could say that Im an idiot.. pff who cares. Nobody really knows me, so I can live with that without becomeing agressive.. hhmm.. Hard to explain.



Ricardo -> RE: MAINTAINING FORUM STANDARDS... (Apr. 30 2006 17:15:21)

Who left?

It is a shame we all can't love jazz fusion, Diego del Gastor, Juan Martin, flute and bass, gratuitous technique and speed, and down home "aire" as equals. There are some things that just are really irritating and many can't help but express that. Even "no comment" is saying something, depending on who says it or not and what it is about.

I for one love the "suicide notes". It is the final dramatic gesture of how strongly someone feels about a subject, LOADED with emotion. I love that. So much lonliness. Why the need for icey cold PC dialogue, constantly reitterating that we each have our OWN opinion (as opposed to someone elses? [8|]), and that we each have the SAME voice as if we all have the same experience, understanding, and view point?

I don't see anything wrong with defending an attack on your thought or feeling, even to the end. Opinions and tastes are subject to change. It is better to know how someone feels, or REALLY feels, rather than for them to pretend to like what you like just to be nice. If it means you can't get along with someone, or are all alone, then at least you were honest. I only avoid topics that are "hot" because I dont' have the energy to defend my point. I also love to play devil's advocate. I also tend to find that people who disagree with me are wrong for some reason... [8D]

Ricardo



JBASHORUN -> RE: MAINTAINING FORUM STANDARDS... (Apr. 30 2006 18:21:31)

quote:

Who left?


Flyeogh (Nigel) left, and he tells me a couple of other members expressed similar intentions to him. But this probably isn't our fault.

Anyway, I'm not asking members to lie about their feelings... honesty is an important part of communication. Just to exercise a little diplomacy.

Jb



Ricardo -> RE: MAINTAINING FORUM STANDARDS... (May 2 2006 4:17:11)

quote:

Just to exercise a little diplomacy.


Yes, honest diplomats we should be.[;)]



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