Are you a loner? (Full Version)

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fevictor -> Are you a loner? (Mar. 11 2006 2:38:43)

I was thinking about this while practising today. it came to mind as i thought of my brother; he´s a sculptor / potter / artist, and has always felt like somewhat of a social outcast. the result of so much time on his own working on his passions has led him to be the skilled artist he is today.

would most musicians fall into this category? Obviously one has to be able to mentally tolerate the solitude involved with so much practising. I don´t imagine that many of the "great ones" were ever social butterflys. Do you think that alot of people took up an instrument just to combat loneliness, and then it just became a passion?

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Do you consider yourself to be a bit of a loner?



Guest -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 11 2006 6:35:51)

Yes, I am considered a loner by most. I walk my own way in everything I do, and it´s one of the main reasons I build guitars, which is a very lonely job. Well there is doggy and the radio.
It´s nice, and I never consider myself lonely. I have a wonderfull girlfriend and some very nice and close friends. I just like to be on my own a lot, so that I can do what I like, like building and playing guitars.[:)]

Very often musicians are loners, also because you need to practice a lot, especially when working music like flamenco.



ToddK -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 11 2006 7:00:50)

I spend almost all of my time alone.
My girlfriend pays me a visit a couple of
times a week, but other than that, i like to
be alone.
I enjoy the solitude very much.
I dont get lonely, but i do have anxiety
and insomnia from time to time.
All in all, i like the loner life.
Ive become very used to doing what ever i want
, whenever i feel like it.
I was married for 8 years, and ive been alone for
the last 8 years. I definatly ejoyed the loner years
much more.[:D]



ricecrackerphoto -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 11 2006 7:41:54)

yep, loner here too and love it. i'm also very social and really good with people at parties and such but i require a lot of alone time and shut doors. i'm a photographer too and much of what i do requires me to be by myself though i may be surrounded by strangers.

solo flamenco guitar and classical guitar are very much loner instruments. i quit playing classical violin when i was a kid because it was rare to work on solo music and everything you do is for the chamber ensemble or orchestra. classical guitar became the exact opposite. flamenco at least seems to offer that bridge to accompaniment and ensemble playing if that is where you want to head.

doug



Cloth Ears -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 11 2006 8:13:11)

Ironically, it is because I am a loner that I am so gregarious. The fact that I was left on my own at school led me to have the wildest twenties you could imagine ;0)

I have 'eccentricity in the eyes of others', but that is from my perspective a lack of mediocrity.

Why fit in to an imperfect society? Stand up and make a difference. Most people are gutless in this respect and cannot stand the thought of standing out. Dont let them stand in your way...make like a steam roller and roll all over their pathetic lives just by what you do.

love & twangs

Cloth



Doitsujin -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 11 2006 10:00:04)

It might not interest anybody, but I dont like to be alone. I get sad. [:(]



henrym3483 -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 11 2006 10:46:32)

yup tend to be a loner too. suppose its from when i was a child, i didnt go out and play much and just painted and read. funny enough though playing guitar has lead to more people hanging around me and you cant help but be sociable when you're into flamenco, a juerga is a sociable sort of thing.



Gecko -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 11 2006 10:56:02)

Interesting topic! I have been a “loner” since early childhood, being born and raised on a remote ranch in the American West where there was no one of my age within 30 miles. Spent most of my earlier years alone on a horse riding fence lines. During my middle years I was more or less forced to interact with other people at work, yet after work I still preferred isolation.

Today, I have a very small, close circle of friends and rarely associate with other people outside of that circle. When meeting new people I’m often considered aloof, but that is just because I really don’t know how to interact with them face-to-face. I’m simply not a “glad -handing, small-talk, schmooze.”

It is probably because of this that I have migrated to classical and flamenco guitar, because it is something I can do, or attempt to do, without having to be around other people. Yes I know that flamenco should involve other people (bailaor/cantaor, etc). Still I would wager that the majority of us play mostly alone.

Unfortunately, the older I get the more isolated I become.

My wife, on the other hand, is just the opposite which, on occasion, creates some friction.



Jim9guitars -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 11 2006 10:57:51)

To quote Brother Theodore, a New York theatre actor (and comedian?) "many years of marraige lead to many years of divorce". That's me now, I have a house and two cats, my daughter stays here infrequently and I get lots of time on my own. Many of my students have become more like friends and several of the other teachers at the music school where I teach are social contacts to a degree. I live a little outside of the city here which makes it even more isolated. I rarely feel the urge to get out more,

Jim



gerundino63 -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 11 2006 11:50:10)

Hi Fevictor!

I am a loner too, combining sculpturing wit flamenco guitar.
So, greetings to your brother too!
If he has a website, i like to see some of his work!

Peter



John O. -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 11 2006 12:10:54)

Major loner and I used to be majorly akward and eccentric until I started working. It took me a while to get used to being around people. I think my passion for the guitar is at fault because I never really spent a lot of time with people due to it. Now I accompany and play a lot with groups, something I had to force myself into with my shyness, and it's getting easier all the time.

I've lived with my fiancee for about 1 1/2 years now and am happy. I need at least one person there for me, otherwise I get lost.

John



Escribano -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 11 2006 15:59:48)

Yep - a loner now[:D]



mentrida -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 11 2006 16:32:24)

Same here. Moved around as a kid and learned to enjoy my alone time. Now my work forces me to be around a lot of people all the time, and the joy of my life (wife & kids) take up the rest of it.
I find myself craving my alone time late at night, just me, my guitar and that terrible noise I make [8D]
Without that alone time, I find myself getting grouchy [>:]



fevictor -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 11 2006 19:18:50)

Im surprised the amount of responses in such a short amount of time. I feel a bit better now! Somedays I cant help but feel like a bit of hermit for wanting to be alone with my guitar, but the reality is that thats where I want to be and thats the most important thing. How many people dont go through life doing what other people want, but never pay attention to their own desires? I guess in a sense we are a bit lucky; we dont depend on anybody.

We have a saying in spanish: "mejor solo que mal acompañado"

"its better to be alone than be with bad company"



Escribano -> RE: Are you a loner? (video answer) (Mar. 11 2006 20:30:47)

I made this short movie a while ago on this very theme[;)]

http://www.foroflamenco.com/movies/dating.wmv

Let me know if it resonates.



Ron.M -> RE: Are you a loner? (video answer) (Mar. 11 2006 20:56:37)

Great stuff Simon!
I think you've found a new career as a £200,000 pa advertising executive!!
I really do...you've got the touch..and the humour.
As for being alone..
Actually I don't get bored with my own company, I've got too many things going on in my head.
I first discovered that when I went to Spain on my own when I was 20.
Things happened and I ended up in amazing situations.
I did that for a few years thereafter.
Then I had the error of judgement of taking a friend along and nothing happened at all.
Problems and situations arose and it was a complete compromise that benefited neither of us except to say that the whole trip was probably just OK.. could have been worse..not too bad a time considering...

I think gregarious folk have butterfly kinds of personalities that need folk around them to engage and entertain them though, otherwise they get depressed.
Not that they are wrong or anything... that's just the way they are.

cheers

Ron



JasonM -> RE: Are you a loner? (video answer) (Mar. 11 2006 20:57:05)

The constant flamenco guitar playing in my head while at a party, with a group of friends, or even a one - on - one conversation used to be a real problem for me. I was always paying more attention to the music in my head than my environment, and I eventually forced my self to focus on listening to "the people" instead. For the better.



Guest -> [Deleted] (Mar. 11 2006 21:57:05)

[Deleted by Admins]



Doitsujin -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 12 2006 9:39:13)

Escribando, you are a great actor! hehe.. Cool clip. I viewed it 5 times and it has much comedy-duende. The voice of the sewardess is great.



Francisco -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 12 2006 12:50:36)

Escribano, Bravo! I think that's your best work yet (that you have uploaded anyway).



Miguel de Maria -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 12 2006 15:55:36)

Guys, one thing I haven't seen mentioned is that we are on an internet forum. In other words, maybe part of the reason most of us are loners is that we are self-selected by being on the internet (instead of being out in the world).



Ron.M -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 12 2006 20:10:32)

quote:

In other words, maybe part of the reason most of us are loners is that we are self-selected by being on the internet (instead of being out in the world).


Nah Mike!
Who could be more "out in the world" than yourself, Jon, Ricardo amongst others?
Thing is, nobody in your immediate vicinity is remotely interested in the minute details of Flamenco rhythm, harmony and general guitar technique out there in the "real world"..be it Phoenix, Cairo, London, Paris, Hamburg, Gotenberg, Sydney or Buenos Aires.

Whenever have you had a train journey and had a good discussion with the person next to you about the pros and cons of playing Bulerias in sixes?

This is what this Forum is about IMO.. Long may it live!![:D]

cheers

Ron



Thomas Whiteley -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 12 2006 22:05:32)

quote:

Whenever have you had a train journey and had a good discussion with the person next to you about the pros and cons of playing Bulerias in sixes?


Ron;

I married that person forty years ago! [:D]



Ramin -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 13 2006 15:11:09)

quote:

solo flamenco guitar and classical guitar are very much loner instruments.


I tend to disagree with the above statement. Classical guitar may be a loner instrument, but flamenco is definitely not. My understanding is that flamenco is a social phenomenon, at least that's how it came to be.

With respect to being a loner, I am at the opposite end of the spectrum, i.e., I am overly social. I love to be around people, interact with them, and make fun of them, myself, and life in general. I learn a lot from people, valuable experiences none of which is offered in any university!

Life is ultimately about balancing the extreme possiblities (or opposite ends) it has to offer, life & death, joy & sorrow, success & failure, ... I think the only way one can be "happy" in life is to learn to balance these extremes and this, I believe, has nothing to do with one's artistic talents, tendencies, or the level of success one is striving to achieve.

Ramin



John O. -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 13 2006 15:58:30)

quote:

I married that person forty years ago!


You've got it good man! My wife will sit and listen patiently but not understand a word. Somehow it's just not the same... [&:]



doublek -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 13 2006 16:50:04)

[:-] i am loner i belive but without a close friend s this is the problem but in the same times two much friends waste time alot but ..........we need them sometimes



Ricardo -> RE: Are you a loner? (Mar. 17 2006 17:44:50)

Me? Loner. Not litterally now, but the personality as refered too, yeah that is me. Since being married and into flamenco, I party all the time, play almost nightly with others, make contacts around the world, do social gatherings, etc. But what I have found is myself in the company of other LONERS, if that makes sense. The co-misery that these people feel together is an amazing feeling. In terms of flamenco and music, I have communicated with others very deeply, without even having a common verbal language in some cases. All these deep feelings I find typically in the loner type personalities.

My best friend is a Bolivian Indian. He talked about music in the Andes with his people, a collective harmony, where everyone must contribute his little part to the collective social musical sound. What attracted him to flamenco was the individuality. He identified with it, the fact that yeah, there is a small group working together, but the individuals could all be independent, each strong on his own. You would not say in his culture "ole tu, you over there you are doing great!", which is what happens to each member of a flamenco group.

It is not just the internet, tons of personalities are online. People into flamenco tend to be those loner types. Even in Spain.

Ricardo



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