New Russian guitar supply outfit (Full Version)

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estebanana -> New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 29 2020 3:06:39)

There’s a new kid on the block and they look very promising. I can’t post a URL for public use because I was selected as a VIP luthier to look at a sample website via a one time use code they gave me. They are going to open it to the general public in August, I was contacted by them to participate in a ‘virtual focus group’ to help them get the marketing information together.

I can tell you the company is called GRU Guitar Russia Unlimited

A few things they’ve developed are nothing less than miraculous. They offer the regular supplies we all need, but through advanced research and a funding from a private backer they pumped a huge amount of money and time into three main projects. They developed a proprietary process that I surmise involves chemistry and heat treatments that change normal Indian rosewood and similar species into ‘imitation Brazilian rosewood’ it not only changes the color of the wood, but the process creates a hybrid inexpensive modification to most rosewood to give it a set of tap tones density and sonic properties that are identical to Brazilian, but without the troublesome CITES issues, because it’s modified wood, not actually Brazilian.

It’s like meat grown in a lab I suppose, if they mold it into a burger patty it’s probably going to taste like a regular burger.

They’ve also developed a cold hybrid /fish/hide glue that comes in a tube that looks like toothpaste. It’s the best of both glues. It’s got a short open time to let you position parts, but it reacts with air to become set like hide glue in about 2 minutes. Then it reaches full strength in 25 minutes. You can glue on a bridge and string the guitar up in 30 minutes and out the door. It will revolutionize repair work. The new glue isn’t cheap. It’s about 90 USD for 10 ounces.

Lastly, and I was skeptic, they’ve developed stick on rosettes that are super thin and weigh less than a gram. You might not want to think about this, but optimizing a top to play to full potential might include taking off those few extra grams of rosette. These new sticker roses are printed with hologram technology so they look like actual wood and have the same chatoyant qualities that a real wood rosette has. They are printed on a synthetic paper stock that’s microns thin, as thin as maybe a French polish film, so under the finish it levels out around the edges of the rosette. But the outer rim is feathered very thin, so you don’t see and ridge line at the edge of the rosette.

Some of this stuff is like NASA or Elon Musk created it. I’m going to get some free samples of the glue, but they said they might give me a few rosette stickers in August. Imagine that!



RobJe -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 29 2020 10:57:43)

Ah, GRU. Is this the same outfit that markets the ‘shpion’ also known as ‘trackerbone’? This is a nut with a tiny built-in device that enables you to locate your guitar if it is stolen. Usefully, GRU monitors your location when you are with the guitar and can pick up any conversations in order to check that you are safe. The Russians are so helpful.

Rob



orsonw -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 29 2020 11:47:18)

I knew you were going to lead the way to the rosette sticker revolution. All those beautiful rosettes you've previously made were just getting in the way of streamlining your production line.[;)]



estebanana -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 29 2020 13:24:15)

You guys are acting like this is some kind of joke. This is a revolutionary company.



BarkellWH -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 29 2020 13:26:52)

quote:

I can tell you the company is called GRU Guitar Russia Unlimited


The GRU (Glavnoye Razvedyvatelnoye Upravlenie) is the espionage and counter-espionage arm of Russian Military Intelligence. After using the materials noted in your post above, perhaps it would be prudent to have the guitar "swept" by our own counter-intelligence experts in order to find any "bugs" implanted in the works. Of course, you may wish to leave the bug in place in order to transmit disinformation back to the GRU controller.

If enough Gitanos are interested in this, could Andalusia become the next Cold War Berlin?

Bill



kitarist -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 29 2020 14:11:52)

Sounds legit.



Ricardo -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 29 2020 16:21:05)

quote:

Lastly, and I was skeptic, they’ve developed stick on rosettes that are super thin and weigh less than a gram.


Yes that’s nice but can they help trump get re-elected? (Not that he needs it of course).



Andy Culpepper -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 29 2020 17:57:37)



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estebanana -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 29 2020 22:26:02)

Wow, all this negative energy man, it’s so negative. You’re like the nattering nay bobs of guitarativity.



estebanana -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 29 2020 22:29:17)

You’ll see! When I get my fish/hide hybrid glue made from the isinglass of Giant caviar sturgeons you’re gonna Be envious. My glue will be the best. I’ll have all the greatest gluing power like the world has never known.



Piwin -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 29 2020 22:41:35)

Oh thank God Andy! All these smart people thought about Russian intelligence agencies. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought about that Gru. [:D] See, that's how we can recognize each other, us men of culture. [8D]

Also, I call bullsh1t on this fish/hide glue. It is quite obvious that the revolutionary Russian glue will be mushroom-based. This is after all a country that was once led by an actual mushroom:




Richard Jernigan -> [Deleted] (Jul. 29 2020 23:20:26)

Post has been moved to the Recycle Bin at Jul. 29 2020 23:20:49



Richard Jernigan -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 29 2020 23:29:26)

Back when I was a contractor for the NSA we interviewed one of the founders of this outfit. He picked me out as a guitar player right away. Almost cost me my intel tickets...sorry, gotta go--just received a package from Guitar Russia Unlimited.
RNJ





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BarkellWH -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 29 2020 23:44:15)

Careful, Stephen. Although sources and methods cannot be divulged, a Russian GRU colonel named Sergei Ivanov is a known case officer handling US assets resident in Japan. He is known to offer luthiers such as yourself the items you mentioned. After gaining trust, Colonel Ivanov will attempt to maneuver you into a compromising position with your guitar, with photographs and audio. You are playing a very dangerous game here.

Bill



ernandez R -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 30 2020 0:43:45)

Fish glue? From the GRU?

Da, we all know their adhesive of choice is basic on uric acid from the gulags of the Ural Mountains. I'm not familiar with the Cyrillic but the little roll up toothpaste tubes found on the shelves of black market luthiers have letters that look like: KOMPROMAT.

Also, best to avoid the tape with the same brand name it's a vivid yellow and smells like piss.


HR (deep under covers in a land so far north I can see Russia from my fifth shot of Stoli: Za Zdarovje!)



kitarist -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 30 2020 2:11:11)

quote:

After gaining trust, Colonel Ivanov will attempt to maneuver you into a compromising position with your guitar


Too late - they already got to him:



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TonyGonzales84 -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 30 2020 3:41:53)

Russian fish glue, or Roman garum? Hispania was a prime producer...



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Andy Culpepper -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 30 2020 3:59:14)

quote:

Oh thank God Andy! All these smart people thought about Russian intelligence agencies. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought about that Gru. See, that's how we can recognize each other, us men of culture.


Yes, having kids will do that to you...what's your excuse? [:D]



johnguitar -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 30 2020 7:14:37)

I can't figure out if they have taken over control of Stephen's internet account or if they have actually taken control of his mind.



RobJe -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 30 2020 8:42:36)

I am sure two of my guitars were communicating with each other last night. They are selling Russian salad in the local deli, sales of uncooked beetroot have rocketed, all the big houses in London have been bought by Russians, our Prime Minister is called Boris. Please help us.
Rob



Piwin -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 30 2020 11:02:20)

quote:

what's your excuse?


Being bored on transatlantic flights [:D]



JasonM -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 30 2020 22:51:27)

Stephen, did you ever get your wood shipment from the Turks?



estebanana -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 31 2020 4:55:08)

Istanbul was Constantinople
Constantinople is Istanbul
It’s nobodies business but the Turks.



JasonM -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 31 2020 18:04:40)

Wonderful news from the new kingdom!



BarkellWH -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 31 2020 18:41:45)

quote:

Istanbul was Constantinople
Constantinople is Istanbul
It’s nobodies business but the Turks.


Sung by "The Four Lads" in 1953. Was written to commemorate the 500th anniversary of the fall of Constantinople to the Ottoman Turks in 1453.

Next question please.

Bill



devilhand -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Jul. 31 2020 22:11:19)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitarist

quote:

After gaining trust, Colonel Ivanov will attempt to maneuver you into a compromising position with your guitar


Too late - they already got to him:



Wow! If I'm not mistaken this chick is Kate Beckinsale. I haven't read this thread. So I don't know what it's about. The thing is she's British. Russians look a bit different than Europeans.

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Ricardo -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Aug. 1 2020 17:10:45)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TonyGonzales84

Russian fish glue, or Roman garum? Hispania was a prime producer...




Her rasgueados are all over the place. She’s gonna need to refinish her entire top.

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estebanana -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Aug. 4 2020 8:23:12)

The foro sexism is doing well these days I see.

I’d write more but the straps on my mask just snapped. Just keep your masks on and don’t indulge in mask debating. Mask debaters never win, cease mask debating, it will only hurt your toque.



Ricardo -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Aug. 4 2020 18:54:52)

quote:

The foro sexism is doing well these days I see.


Oh jeez...so now we can only criticize men’s rasgueados?



aaron peacock -> RE: New Russian guitar supply outfit (Aug. 7 2020 11:39:22)

Ah, the famous Ленин – гриб story!

I'll bet that a mycellium-spiderweb soundboard will be strong AND thin, so there!

But, regarding the main automaton that seems to have been born from this thread, it's simply an unfortunate choice in acronym.

I think of how we commonly abbreviate "proof of concept", but I can't look at this acronym without thinking "peice of crap", which is sometimes also apt, with early revisions, etc.

Acronym choice...

Anyway, so heat-treated woods (do they do a sustainable ebony too?)
and a new glue review.

Sticker rosettes. Some of the rosette-making-processes here appear to dwarf the guitar-making process in complexity!
Will such a lot accept "progress"?
What are the generally known effects of an "unbound sound-hole" versus the usual bound version (what, is it 1mm soundboard with 1mm rosette +- when all fitted and finished?)?

I can only state that I have a very low-end Portuguese folk guitar that's unbound (no purflings/bindings/etc) with only a burned deco around the soundhole, and the guitar is generally the lightest guitar you ever held, extremely sonorous and "open", varying from boomingly loud to soft lute-like tones, normal tension, very dynamic... but I have no A/B, as the other guitars I own from the same maker are different models and the thought of "good stodgy shoes" comes to mind with at least one (heavily bound) flamenca, that nevertheless is bright and twangy when squeezed...

what are the factors for the soundhole and rosette and top tap tones etc?

but the outfit sounds nice, I suppose, and generally, besides whatever ones views on the authorities in a given country, I've never felt more at home or welcomed than with Russians, when in Russia, etc... I feel more "right wing yahoo" in the "mid-western USA" or here in the "Beira Interior" than I felt in Samara or Barnaul or Moscow or St. Petersburg etc...not that there aren't common factors (shopping for a chain-saw in either Novosibirsk or Minneapolis, for example...)



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