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Mark2 -> RE: Loss of motivation, what to do. (Oct. 7 2018 18:46:53)
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It might be helpful to focus and what it is you'd like to accomplish in flamenco and also what it was that first attracted you to it. For me, the thing that is most lacking in non Spanish players is technique. That is the elephant in the room. It may be impossible for many of us to reach the technical level of an average native player, and I think that is a wall many people have had to face. How you deal with it can make all the difference.
Regarding different styles, many of us came to flamenco from other styles, which we may have more experience with, and having started at an earlier age, have a higher level than we do in flamenco. This is also something one has to come to grips with. Do you want to play with better musicians playing a style you are better at, or would you prefer to play with less skilled people in the style you enjoy more? That is a tough one I've grappled with. Recently I've been playing with some great musicians but playing music I find less satisfying than flamenco. There is something cool about being around life long players who never gave it up despite the ups and downs of their music careers. I can tell myself I belong in this company of pros, but the reality is my flamenco skills don't measure up to the same level of flamenco players.
Super frustrating, but it hasn't stopped me from trying to improve my flamenco technique. And I really don't care if I ever perform in a flamenco company again. Too much downtime, too much dancer BS, too little money. I guess I burned out on the local scene years ago, but I still play guitar almost daily, mostly flamenco, and the goal is only to enjoy myself and improve. Going to see Vicente this week, and this time I'm leaving the wife at home. I just want to sit there and let the music flow into my body, feel the compas, hear the humanity in the cante, marvel at the artistry, and be inspired. I think it's going to work.
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