RE: Shop assistant? (Full Version)

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constructordeguitarras -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 3 2014 2:08:25)

Many more thanks to all of you. I knew you were an awesome bunch.

Richard, I am so glad to hear how these things can progress.

Tom I really appreciate your invitation. Maybe a bit later, probably not this month. I should also visit my sister and brother in law in Corrales, NM, which is not too far from you, I think.

And yeah, I'm not going to rush into anything. Actually, my shop is so crowded that I can hardly move around in it without bumping into things. Maybe what I need is a roommate, and I have had difficult ones in the past. I have a friend who leases rooms in her house to "visiting scholars" at the University of Washington in town, and they leave after a year or so, so she doesn't get tired of them.[:D]



Anders Eliasson -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 3 2014 7:50:48)

Ohh Ethan, thats very sad news. My deepest condolences.

It must have been a shock for you and I can imagine the enormous pain you must be in.
2 years ago, I lost my wife. I knew she was going to die and I had known for 2 years, so its absolutely not the same as your loss. I dont know what is worse and I dont think losses like that can be compared. But I know what loss and sorrow is. I´m still there.

Most probably you are still in shock, and there´s a good chance that you will be so for quite a while. I havent recovered completely, I´m better now, but there´s still a long way to go and I know that nothing will be the same.
I dont think its the time for you to take decissions. Its the time to be in sorrow, and let let emotions float around.
If you have a chance to take some time off, do so, its difficult to build guitars and more so when you are in deep sorrow.
Your friends advices are all good, but its hard to take advices when you are in sorrow. The emotional state is so overwhelming that its difficult to think. My advice is to tell your friends to take it a bit easy with all the advices. It sounds to me that they end up winding your mind up and its the last you will need now.
Wheather to have an asisstant or not, I dont know and I think you should leave it for a while.

Sorrow is difficult to live with. It throws you back and forth between the past (the memories of your son) and future (What you had in mind for him (and yourself)) This way present time gets very little space in your life and thats very bad. Sorrow takes time, a lot of time, so dont push it. But sorrow also needs that you go on, if not, it wont disappear.

If you go on building, build slow and observe your mind. If sorrow takes over, tell it to go away and come back later. Accept it but tell it to take a break. If you cant do so, dont build. By accepting sorrow you can, to a certain degree, control it and thereby have a little bit of time to live in the present and to be with yourself. And that way go on with life.

I wish you all the best
Yours sincerely
Anders.



constructordeguitarras -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 3 2014 14:09:10)

Thanks Anders, I appreciate you words.

I am sorry for your loss, too. I hope you get as much wonderful support from people as I am.



constructordeguitarras -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 3 2014 14:11:12)

I made this video yesterday morning to show everyone that I am starting to practice again. It has been months since I have really practiced.




Andy Culpepper -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 3 2014 16:50:58)

Very very nice, Ethan. Seems like a nice meditative place to sit and play.



constructordeguitarras -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 3 2014 16:55:11)

Got up and started working today! I have two guitars going with that last rosette I did. If feels good to be working, even if I sometimes feel sad. Also, got a really nice phone call from my dealer today. Playing it safe and gluing on the top purfling in a separate step.





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Anders Eliasson -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 3 2014 17:56:34)

quote:

I hope you get as much wonderful support from people as I am.


Just like you I got a lot of very possitive support here on the forum and it was a great help. But in "real" life, things were very different. During Sole´s disease, the friends disappeared and most of her family got completely screwed up mentally and were very annoying. I had contact with an asociation and had help from their psycologist and she told me it was normal with ALS (motor-neurone) patients. People simply cant deal with that disease.
Fortunately I have a very good relationship with Sole´s two grown up kids and as I said, I am alot better now. So, I accept life (almost :) )

Good to see you playing and building. Its a very very nice rosette and its good to play it safe sometimes.... Just in case one should get a bit mental in the middle of all that glue and purfling, binding etc.[8D]
I´m sure you will get on with your life. I dont think these things are something you "get over" They will always be there. But life goes on and so do we even though it sometimes can be difficult to see.



Ruphus -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 3 2014 18:10:32)

Nice playing, Ethan.
I really enjoyed watching it and contemplating.
And curiously the VPN thingy, often times interrupting / letting me watch for only seconds, this time let me see the whole video through.

I like your accentuated, firm touch, and can anticipate how the piece would yet become if you established it to fluency over the course of some weeks. Making it sing. And that with your touch. It would turn out a treasure.

Rock on, muchacho!

Best,

Ruphus

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Escribano -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 3 2014 18:18:02)

Beautiful work. I completely agree with Anders on that rosette. Very classy and distinctive. I love blancas when they are really white and haven't aged in the light. Like ice cream.



gbv1158 -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 3 2014 20:25:54)

My deepest condolences Ethan......I have no words ....



Guest -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 4 2014 0:57:54)

My deepest and heartfelt condolences Ethan
I couldn't imagine the extent of the loss

My 17 yr old daughter has been admitted/sectionalised twice for attempts
Anxiety and depression
A thread throughout my family genetic make up ( my grandmother, uncle and older brother )
Each time I am grateful she survived
A daily concern with re assurance she is ok ..yet I never really know nor am able to help
On the outside she is popular , intelligent , does well academically at school
But the black dog gnaws away inside

To pass on your beautiful and amazing art would be of great benefit to the world
I know that my son is having huge issues finding a trade/apprenticeship ( govt policy has slowly eroded so much hope for our youth )
It would be of great service to a youth, give them a craft and a place in the world
It seems a viable and healing option

Prayers for you Ethan



constructordeguitarras -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 4 2014 5:45:24)

At the risk of making this webpage too hard for me to look at sometimes, I want to show you how good looking my son Jan was. Hey, that's my shirt he's wearing.



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Argaith -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 4 2014 10:48:25)

I don't know how you're coping man; he was a very handsome lad.
Hang in there; our thoughts are with you.

A



Kalo -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 4 2014 17:37:43)

Hi Ethan,

It has been months since I post!!!

You are wonderful PERSON and an AWESOME luthier...

Please ACCEPT my condolesences! I am speechless!!!

This isn't the same thing, but, I lost my Father last August and it is HARD!!!!

I am a loner as well (yes, I am gal) and girls/women are supposed to be social butterflies!

I am now caregiving for my Mom FULL TIME and work a part time job!!!!

PLEASE, know you are not alone!!!!

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!

Kalo



estebanana -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 5 2014 1:29:50)

Ethan,

I hope you are seeking out perhaps a twice a week group to attend. I'm worried that twice a month might not be enough support for you in person. Something like this happened to me in the mid 1990's and I had to cling for life to a once a week group for two years to get through. I looked forward to the group every week because it gave me a focus point when I felt lost. It was like weekly chart or map. If knew that Weds. night I was going to this group, I knew that I could get what was on my mind to others who I trusted. Somehow knowing this made it so I could keep marching through what I was feeling.

We are all different and you might not need that much, but I am worried about twice a month. The important thing is to monitor whether or not your mind is keeping your feet from moving. If your projections and grieving process ever pin you down physically it can make things harder. More regular contact with your support group might be good. But milage varies person to person.


Not as important, but some other things, just ideas to kick around:

Some other thoughts I have been on since last week:

Consider more guitar teaching, take some students when you are ready. I mean really dedicate to a teaching practice.

When you are ready, instead of having an apprentice full time or part time...Open your shop on a regular basis for public visits. Make a shop teaching and question and answer day. As guitar maker you know how many people cal to ask if they can learn. Set up a free teaching day or a few hours on a Saturday afternoon and teach something.

Take private students that seem serious, but charge a small teaching fee, not always money. Do a barter. Yardwork, cleaning the shop, website work: utilize what skills they have to offer you. Keep it simple.

Work with an art student who wants to learn film making and photography. Invite them to come document your process. See what happens.

Think of these things as ideas to get you working on ways to cooking on your sense of adventure for social interaction. Try to take a two or three day trip to see mutual friends in the Bay Area at some point in the near future. The weather and flamenco in SF Oakland in September and Oct. is truly wonderful.

And if you hit the jack pot in Vegas come visit me. The ticket is pricey to get back and forth, but you are always welcome.

And if you want I'll give my recipe for pickled bitter mellon. That way you always have it ready to go for lunch. It's great with rice.



Ruphus -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 5 2014 8:12:57)

I have been thinking along the same line. ^
It would be good to know that you be with more frequent support.



pink -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 14 2014 21:52:57)

Ethan,
Thinking of you.
X



Flamingrae -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 21 2014 11:55:38)

Ethan,

My deepest condolances - wrong order of events and this will take time[&o]

However on the subject of assistants, I can maybe offer a couple of pointers from my own experiences. I trained as a jeweller and had a shop for fifteen years. During that time I did take on a few assistants. Some of these were better experiences than others but you might want to consider a couple of things. They want experience. You need some help. If I thought that someone might be ok, I would insist that they stayed for atleast six months so there is a bit of payback. It will take time for you to get someone up to speed and then you need them to pay their way after that time. I remember going through a similar experience myself as a student.

Best of luck with it all.



bernd -> RE: Shop assistant? (Sep. 21 2014 16:20:49)

Deepest hearfelt condolences, Ethan.

I´m so sorry for your loss.
Take your time to process your sorrow and take time to cry when it comes.

My prayers are with you.

All the best to you.



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