estebanana -> RE: a changed place? (Aug. 19 2014 12:30:16)
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The talk about civility is baffling to me. Honestly. What is civility really? Is it being polite? Or is it something else? Politeness is fine with me, I like polite, but polite does not always mean civil. What about all the rudeness and aggression hidden in politeness? It's not civil. There's a polite way to bait someone and ther epolite way to insult someone, neither are civil. It's just aggression clothed in a veneer that looks and talks pretty. Me, I'd rather have have aggression up front so we can get on with being truly civil. I'll give an example of civil. I used fight with Estela a lot and sometimes she would fight back with me and others on the old flamenco list. It was not polite. Well there was one particular person who too rudeness to a new level, but he is not around any longer. Now when I see Estela posting some thing about Paco de Lucia stamp I think wow that is really great news. and I congratulate her on having done something good in flamenco. I think that is civil, knowing you had a beef with someone and when they do a good flamenco thing you give them an ole' - Do you have to be shallow a polite, no, but us it civil to recognize that person and give them their due? Yes. If someone walked up to me in a bar and I was talking to my friend about say Star Trek or Scuba gear and some guy gets in my face and says Capt. Picard was a Nazi and he the reason China invaded Tibet. I would say well that's not polite, not polite at all. And would ask them to please leave me and my friend alone. If they did it again the next night, it would become tiresome, and if it happened one more time on the third night you might be frustrated enough to call them a name and say get the blankety blank out of my face you blankety blank. That is not polite, but it is civil. People get polite and civil confused; If someone is in your face and they keep bugging you, you can ask them in a polite way to cease bothering you. If they continue to bother you, it's civil to protect your space and your right to your unobstructed conversations with your chosen companions. You may need to be rude and tell them in no uncertain terms to get our of your face. If they don't get out of your face you can tell the bartender, but if they continue and the bartender shrugs his shoulders and does you go to another bar. Some bars are polite and some are civilized. In polite bars people sip drinks and make crooked real estate deals or plan a telemarketing scam in which they rip off your grandmas life savings. Because sipping drinks polite. In bars with civility, a fight breaks out near the pool table, some F words are exchanged, the bartender kicks a few guys out for the night and that is that. The next night the same characters go to the bar and tell the bartender: See that old bastard over there who I was fighting with last night? Yeah buy that bloke a beer on me. Cheers ya old fighting bastard, that is civil. Polite? Check it at the door and be a human being.
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