Dictionary of Bull (Full Version)

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Ron.M -> Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 15 2010 12:41:38)

While it does irk me to see Fakemenco marketed as Flamenco, the things that get me most are certain "marketing terms and phrases" one finds in Internet bios.

Like...

"Playing from the heart....not from the fingers..."

(ie..Not technically accomplished)

or

"International Recording Artist".

????[:-]

What EXACTLY is an "International Recording Artist"?

(Like, is it somebody who travels around the World, from Country to Country to make a recording?)

Sounds to me about as dodgy and prestigious as an "International Stripper".

Another one is "and has shared the stage with"....[various legendary Artists, such as....]

(....so did the Roadies setting up the gear)

WTF does that mean?

As well as a Fakemenco list, I think there should at least be a "Dictionary of ****" list to accompany it.

"Not wishing to be confined to the restraints of conventional Flamenco, but rather gathering musical flavours from other World genres....."

Etc...etc...

Anyone got some other examples?

cheers,

Ron




NormanKliman -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 15 2010 23:14:17)

When it's said that so-and-so has "mastered" an instrument or a style, or that so-and-so is opening up flamenco to exciting new horizons (thus saving flamenco from the traditionalists), or that so-and-so knows all about flamenco because s/he used to hang out with "the gypsies."

My second example is pretty much the same as the last one you mentioned.




Guest -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 0:17:54)

'Infectious Gypsy Guitar"......wheres the antibiotics?
'Were invited to perform At'.......but never made it on the program
'Endorsed by'.......means buys in bulk
'Guitar Sponsored by'.....but never actually performs with it
'Expressive tones'........wheres that lactation machine?
'proudly presented by'....means theres alot of $$$ at stake

quick edit before it hits the fan again..
real words that are out there[:D][:)]




Florian -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 2:44:42)

quote:

"marketing terms and phrases" one finds in Internet bios.

Like...

"Playing from the heart....not from the fingers..."



yeah its disgusting [:D][:D] those people make me sick















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Guest -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 3:25:50)

sure if the bull comes from the artist it is a worry...when they start believing it all hell breaks loose....[:D]
but with marketing people it is to be expected....

sometimes there is a middle ground when words and expressions help sell the artist without reducing it to a sack of lies and platitudes....

reviews always help when used in context.
the performance speaks for itself.

but it is a fine line....

know your publicist!!!

ps. personally i like the 'heart' word, but not to be confused with the fingers....though a pacemaker in my pulgar might make my alzapua rapido...




Florian -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 3:35:50)

quote:

sure if the bull comes from the artist it is a worry


lol... i know what u saying man but again...each uses what they have...i asked Susi to writte my first bio cause i didnt know what you sopossed to do and told her to make me sound good or we are over [:D][:D]

what if someone dosent have any reviews ? u still have to start somewhere..u still got to get the reviewers to your show

quote:

sometimes there is a middle ground when words and expressions help sell the artist without reducing it to a sack of lies and platitudes


ofcourse...theres limits..this i totally understand and agree. should stay away from things like " the best " "the biggest" " the only" etc etc

" the only real"

or

" the best guitarist in....."

u know people who use negative vibes to advertise a show thats always cringeful [:D][:D]

quote:

Another one is "and has shared the stage with"....[various legendary Artists, such as....


got that one too on my internet bio [:D][:D][:D]

quote:

Anyone got some other examples?


yeah a couple..err.. It all starts when you litlle with " you are the greatest mom in the world" and then it moves to everything around you, news , articles, resumes, religion, war campaigns, elections, presentations, white lies, compliments, preprinted xmass cards etc...you probably got britains best tv station running in the background right now..and when you wake up you are going to read britains most informed and honest newspaper...right after you eat britans favourite cerials

bud ...king of beers
Kia-Ora We all adore a Kia-Ora.”
Wheaties “Breakfast of champions.”
BMW "The ultimate driving machine."
Hallmark "When you care enough to send the very best"
Hamlet "Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet."
Heineken Heineken refreshes the parts other beers cannot reach."
RCA: Changing entertainment. Again.


and my personal fav British Airways "The world's favourite airline." [:)]


if the rest of the world was playing to the no trying to sell rules
the slogen might be :

British Airways.."majority of the world have never been on us and would have no idea if we are their favourite or not..ps..we lose your bagadge just like everyone else [;)] like the abba song says Take a chance on me [:)]

or

"We are the worlds safest airline..we only had 15 plane crashes ...come fly with us [:)]"

And Alexander the greate would be Alexander one of the greates




Guest -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 3:55:19)

quote:

what if someone dosent have any reviews ? u still have to start somewhere..u still got to get the reviewers to your show

sure...best to talk about the performance with a 'bit' of background on the performers.... the rest will come...hard honest work.

not

quote:

" the best guitarist in....."

a pin stripped suit and sunglasses?

we hear each other.
hard to get an honest bio....it has to be earned...takes time....the 'look at me here i am' is just wrong.

anyway off to find some practice material...

you got your first draft of your bio?[:D]




Florian -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 4:52:40)

quote:

you got your first draft of your bio? [:D]



haha no but i changed it lol she used the first half of it advertising her school lol

and at the end it was a line about me

"oh yeah and florian...,whatever... hes wonderfull blah blah blah...., hire him"[&:]



[:D][:D]




Pimientito -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 5:13:41)

Its amazing the fame you can achieve with good marketing eh [:D]



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Florian -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 5:33:51)

yup [:D] but i dont need to tell you this



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bursche -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 8:23:11)

"possessed of flamenco roots that are embedded in his family."




XXX -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 8:33:07)

"worked together with Paco de Lucia"

or

"started at the age of 2."




Ron.M -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 9:59:43)

I agree Flo... actually when I read the finished copy of my CV, I couldn't believe how brilliant this guy was!!

I would have hired him on the spot! [:D]

The main thing to remember when putting good **** together is to steer well clear of provable facts...

So things like...

"His widely acclaimed debut album..."

"his recent tour, which received numerous standing ovations..."

A good bit of commercial advertising **** I like is "....because you're worth it!..."

Like, you could apply it to ANYTHING....

So OK ...you want to lose weight but would still love to have that big cream pie...Go On...Spoil Yourself .....because you're worth it! [:D]

or...

"Why do you keep doin' that Crystal Meth and Smack crap??"

"Because I'm worth it! "[:D]


Another thing that gets me about Flamenco, is how copywriters (non-Flamenco) always came up with the word combinations "Fantastic, Fire, Fiery, Fury, Grace, Passion" to describe the album.

Try it yourself...

"Fiery Flamenco!"
"Flamenco Fury!"
"Fury and Passion"
"The Fire of Flamenco"
"The Grace and Fire of Flamenco"
"Passion and Fire"
"Passion, Grace and Fire" (hey... that sounds good!)

There should be an accredited University Degree course in **** IMO.

It really is an Art!

cheers,

Ron BA(BS)




Pgh_flamenco -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 10:05:23)

Why not throw down the gauntlet like the fakemenco guy on myspace: "Who dares to play like I do?" In this case shameless self-promotion crosses over into pathological narcissism. It worked for Trump and countless rappers, right?




Florian -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 10:05:47)

quote:

"Fiery Flamenco!"
"Flamenco Fury!"
"Fury and Passion"
"The Fire of Flamenco"
"The Grace and Fire of Flamenco"
"Passion and Fire"
"Passion, Grace and Fire" (hey... that sounds good!)


I got more [:D]

Fire Flamenco
Flamenco and Fire!
Flamenco On Fire !
Fired Flamenco !
Passion Flamenco
The Pasion the Fire and the Flamenco !
Flamenco express
The Passion of flamenco and fire
A night on Fire !! ..with flamenco
The Grace of Flamenco on Fire !
Flamenco ..meduim , rare or cooked ?
Sizzling Flamenco
Flamenco on the barby mate [:D][:D][:D]
Passion Fire and Grace...oh wait! ...thats real

i think POP genra took "HOT" and we answered with " Fire" cause why buy a bottle when you can take home the cow [;)]




Patrick -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 10:12:32)

quote:

flavours


You are on notice that this site is now domiciled in the US and the use of superfluous "U's" will not be tolerated.

flavoure will now be: flavor
colour shall be: color
favourite: favorite

And the use of "learnt" will not be tolerated. The US pronunciation (and proper) shall be "learned"

[:)][8D]




Florian -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 10:31:26)

quote:


Like, you could apply it to ANYTHING....



I found some classic advertising ron [:D]

check out this page ....all the vids are there too

http://www.classictvads.com/smoke_1.shtml


make sure to check this one
quote:

Lark Cigarettes (Inger Stevens)


it purifies the air !!![:D]...i also love how women were portraied like litlle kids and had to ask men about everything back in those days...[:D][:D][:D] litlle lady couldnt posibly understand anything on her own [&:]


and the last on on page 3 is brilliant too.... "Make a note, remember your throat ...try camels today"




Ron.M -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 11:26:53)

quote:

You are on notice that this site is now domiciled in the US and the use of superfluous "U's" will not be tolerated.

flavoure will now be: flavor
colour shall be: color
favourite: favorite

And the use of "learnt" will not be tolerated. The US pronunciation (and proper) shall be "learned"


Well..Ok, Pat,

So long as I can call folk "Buddy" and "Dude". [;)][:D]

Hey... I just heard an interesting thing on the radio today!

In Britain, the phone number of the Emergency services has always been "999".

But a lot of primary schoolkids think it's "911" from watching so many American TV programmes! [:D]

Also our local Coppers are bursting out laughing when they catch a suspect and he demands to be read his "MIRANDA" rights!

Oh..I just had a thought on the " Fiery Flamenco straight from the Heart" stuff...

How about "Hungry Flamenco....straight from the Belly!" (en directo)


[:D][:D]

cheers,

Ron




Ron.M -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 11:52:30)

quote:

and the last on on page 3 is brilliant too.... "Make a note, remember your throat ...try camels today"



".....your Surgeon does" is all that was missing...[:D][:D]

I also love menu things like...

"Pan Fried choice Angus Sirloin Steak, smothered in Freshly Cracked Black Peppercorns and served straight from the heat in it's own juices".

= " A piece of Fried Steak with a twist of Schwartz Pepper and then dumped on a plate and the pan emptied over it". $45.00 (exc. taxes) [:D]

cheers,

Ron




Florian -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 11:56:34)

quote:

"Pan Fried choice Angus Sirloin Steak, smothered in Cracked Black Peppercorns and served straight from the heat in it's own juices".



[:D][:D][:D]

dont even get me started on the restaurant menus, dishes, descriptions and names


i see it, i like it sounds interesting ...i point to the menu cause i am too embarassed to talk like that ( if you can pronounce the name as its pronunced you will always sound girly and like a yappy) i order...but have absoluteley no idea what is coming back to me[&:]

and when u waited at the table thinking about food for 30 minutes ...something would have to be moving on my plate to send it back




Patrick -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 12:07:12)

quote:

So long as I can call folk "Buddy" and "Dude".


Yes, That will be a requirement. [:)]

Also, by the way, "programmes" will now be "programs" and "Coppers" shall be "Cops" [:D]




Pimientito -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 12:27:29)

If its a war you want....[:D]



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bursche -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 12:37:41)

Jsut look at advertisements:


Do it with Flamenco.
Flamenco is rolling, the others are stoned.
Flamenco - Spice up your life.
Flamenco is back.
Flamenco - Your personal entertainer.
No Flamenco, no kiss.
Nonstop Flamenco.
Flamenco & more.
Flamenco can do.
Flamenco - You see this name, you think dirty.




Florian -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 12:43:48)

quote:

If its a war you want.... [:D]


ok ok you win...[:)]

this is bellow the belt,...i needed the money


lol
quote:

Truthier then ever




Estevan -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 14:31:31)

quote:

Flamenco and Fire!
Flamenco On Fire !
Fired Flamenco !
Passion Flamenco
The Pasion the Fire and the Flamenco !

PASSIONATE PYROMANIA!!!




Florian -> RE: Dictionary of Bull (Feb. 16 2010 14:34:35)

quote:

PASSIONATE PYROMANIA!!!


[:D][:D][:D][:)][;)].....[8|] i dont get it




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