Joke!

Joke! (Full Version)

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Ron.M -> Joke! (Jan. 26 2010 11:38:44)
I better tell this before I forget it... A thing I heard on the Radio tonight from an older comedienne... "An older woman can teach a younger guy a lot of things in the bedroom. Like...how to make the bed and pick his used socks and pants off the floor and put them in the wash basket...." [:D][:D] cheers, Ron

Doitsujin -> RE: Joke! (Jan. 26 2010 12:20:57)
hahaha... Is that a joke or truth? :.D The best way of teaching is "demonstration". A similar thing happened to me.. :.O Here in my country after you finished school you had to choose..1year army or however it is called..or one year social work. I choose the social work coz I heard about a silly soap-trick they play in the shower-room in the army. ... ;.) I cleaned up the apartments of old people and bought food and other stuff for them. One day I had to clean the staircase for an old and one of the most grumpy women... She checked my tiniest movements and rated them. She was very weak..werent almost able to walk 2 steps without a stick. (Not in arse..but in her hand). She rated my cleaning skill with 1 out of 10, got upset crouched over to me grabbed the cleaning-broom for wet floors out of my hand and began to clean. And while she did... she mumbled angrily "the youth of today...not even useful for cleaning up... watch this little boy..check how the staircase is cleaned CORRECTLY!" She cleaned the complete floor perfectly.. gave me tip and I was done.. [&:] I alwas had my guitar with me these days. After work I usually went to danceschools to play there. Her husband was musician...and she liked that.. Maybe that was the reason for the tip..hehe

Arash -> RE: Joke! (Jan. 26 2010 12:42:45)
lol i had to do the same thing. but mine was not "social year",,,but several "social hours" , because i was a bad boy when i was 15, 16 [&:], a little bit scheiss ausländer to be honest, but not so much scheisse, only a little bit. i stole a CD from a big supermarket (i remember what it was, it was the soundtrack of Terminator I - lol). i really liked that music. it was really silly. i had the money to buy it but somehow i needed a kick , thrill or something. i don't know,,,, so , i tried and they catched me at the door (2 big men) and i had to do some social hours lol after that i was a good boy (until now) and learned my lesson. --- btw, i had some experience with an older woman (not much older lol, only few years) and it was NOT only "how to make the bed and pick used socks and pants off the floor and put them in the wash basket....etc...." the guy who told the joke in UK, has no idea what he is talking about lol [:D]

Ron.M -> RE: Joke! (Jan. 26 2010 12:53:56)
quote: werent almost able to walk 2 steps without a stick. (Not in arse..but in her hand). She rated my cleaning skill with 1 out of 10, got upset crouched over to me grabbed the cleaning-broom for wet floors out of my hand and began to clean. And while she did... she mumbled angrily "the youth of today...not even useful for cleaning up... watch this little boy..check how the staircase is cleaned CORRECTLY!" Ha Ha Ha! Your too much Doit!! [:D][:D] I can just imagine you there![:D] But honestly man, that's the case even here....the "war" generation cannot believe the luxury we live in today with things like food and central heating etc! Their comfort was to go to a flea-pit cinema and watch Fred Astaire and Ginger Rodgers and the glitz and luxury of Hollywood and then go back home through gloomy, dark streets to a cold , bare house with little furniture and an outside toilet. ...and no food in the "fridge", since there were no fridges, just Ration books.. and their children, who came first under all circumstances. Something I think is always worth considering and respecting IMO. cheers, Ron

Ron.M -> RE: Joke! (Jan. 26 2010 13:01:37)
quote: it was really silly. i had the money to buy it but somehow i needed a kick , thrill or something. i don't know,,,, so , i tried and they catched me at the door (2 big men) and i had to do some social hours lol I wouldn't worry about it Arash....that's not "criminal" but just "pushing the boundaries" IMO. I was always lucky enough not to get caught... (Except one time in Madrid....[&:]) cheers, Ron

Arash -> RE: Joke! (Jan. 26 2010 13:03:42)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ron.M (Except one time in Madrid....[&:]) cheers, Ron you tried to steal a Conde or what ? [:D][:D]

Doitsujin -> RE: Joke! (Jan. 26 2010 13:05:05)
Yes Ron... Sometimes I also think about how easy life got for us.. I realized that last week again when the heater for the water in my apartment broke and we werent able to get any water to wash up, to shower or even to use the toilet... I waited from 7am to 5.30pm for the mechanics..... and went to toilet at a mall 2 km from my apartment. I just wonder about where the people i.e. at Haiti get their water and go to toilet every day... I mean..everything is broken.. that means back to medival-age.. Or as you wrote Ron...the time right after or during the 2nd world war..or before of during the 1st wold war.. :.// It was almost alays worser here than now... And we complain about the economy crisis.. tstststs... Arash!! Bad boy! lol By the way..what did you steal in Madrid??

Ron.M -> RE: Joke! (Jan. 26 2010 13:26:44)
quote: By the way..what did you steal in Madrid?? HaHa...OK.... I was with these artists and one night we went to the really posh part of Madrid and into one of the late night chic midnight booksellers. One of the guys eyballed an expensive book and looked at it and said that he'd always wanted to have it but couldn't afford it. Like most drunken Glasgwegians abroad, I thought I was smarter than the stupid Spanish and nicked it... Until I realized that the Spanish have a worse theft and poverty problem there than where I come from and the floorwalkers grabbed me easily. The only thing that saved me was that they made me empty my pockets in the Manager's room and they found an address book. They looked at the first name which was "Vigdis Kristenssen" (a girl I knew from Hammerfest in Norway) and asked me if this was my name...) Of course I said "Yes" [:D] He then asked how did I feel about the crime. I said I felt stupid and ashamed and was sobering up muy rapido... He said that if I could pay for the book then he wouldn't call the Police.. So I had to rake every penny out ouf my pockets, including hidden "emergency" money and just about covered it... So I was set free... I gave the book to my artist friend with compliments... And starved for about two weeks! [:D][:D] That's life I suppose....you kinda learn.... cheers, Ron

Arash -> RE: Joke! (Jan. 26 2010 13:42:25)
nice story. hehe, all the criminal afficionados are gathered in this thread. come on everybody, join us and share your little dark secrets with us [:)]

Doitsujin -> RE: Joke! (Jan. 26 2010 13:45:22)
quote: Of course I said "Yes" HAAHAH!!! You bad boy!! Strange thing...almost the same happened to me and a friend. We stole glofballs from a driving-ranch... The gardener catched us yelled at us and wanted our names... I told a fake one..and than my friend told him a name of another guy he had problems with in past.. And the gardener told us that he will call the police when one more ball would be missing no matter if we were it or not. And he would tell the police our names.. This dumb gardener.. hhehehee.. Ron, Arash...we are so bad... shame on us.. haha... (but only during the wild days in youth!) [:D] We should meet some day and exchange some more stories..could be fun. [:D]

Arash -> RE: Joke! (Jan. 26 2010 13:49:31)
seams like you were all very advanced and smart criminals with a lot of experience [:D] i was so scared that i told my real name, full adress, etc....quick like a shot [8\|]

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