gj Michelob -> RE: Foro Flamenco End of Decade List - Crazy Stuff (Dec. 30 2009 8:25:54)
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Hi gj! I'm quite surprised that you are sensitive to criticism, considering your job. I mean surely, you must be well used to adversarial situations, (eg in court etc). I thought you would have shrugged that stuff off easily! On the one hand, in the professional side of my life I negotiate hostilities, and typically on a client’s behalf. There is a pragmatic detachment a lawyer needs to establish between his work and his client’s concerns. Surely, one becomes quite exercised over pressure, frustration and unpredictably adverse odds. At the same time, however close a lawyer may feel to the party or stake, a cool distance separates personal from professional, which is occasionally crossed by some at their own peril. On the other hand, music –and particularly whatever I compose- represents the most intimate expression of my artistic sensibility, if I have any buried under my pinstriped suits. That is why I rarely share it in public, because it is “intimate”. The deepest of our thoughts or ideas will inevitably turn superficial once we allow it to surface. It will lose the intimate shelter which protects its personal identity. Yes, when I share my music I could lose my sleep, break into tears and reach the bottom of depression, if criticized, mocked or embarrassed. On this foro, I feel at home, but I more often tell myself to keep my music for myself than to embrace the desire to share it publicly. I am practicing, however, and want to record –and post on youtube- a few of my compositions. One is never fully ready to do so, I suppose, ‘could have practiced more, polished more, invented better phrases, bought a better guitar, camera or microphone…. And then the nails are never perfect, are they? So be it, in the next few days I will be “uploading”, and expect you to spend your usual kind words, after people will recommend that I resume playing country music, instead.
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