Funny Performance Disasters? (Full Version)

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srshea -> Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 25 2009 0:34:10)

Just got back from my first performance as accompanist and I’m still a bit too wired to go to sleep, so here’s your humorous anecdote for the night:

Overall, things worked out pretty well; the dancers did great; the audience loved it. So, I figure we can count it as a success, with the notable exception of one performance-lowpoint/comedic-highpoint. During one of the dancer’s solos in the opening dance the tassels of her manton got snagged in my tuning machines, nearly yanking the guitar out of my hands. Everything pretty much came to a screeching halt, but she swiftly disentangled herself, and we recovered and got back on track surprisingly quickly and smoothly. And it was all uphill from there!

So, what are your comedic war stories?



at_leo_87 -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 25 2009 5:25:45)

good thing you dont have pegs!

one time, i played a show really drunk. we couldn't hear each other and played really off. i was so p!ssed. at the end, i threw my guitar at the other band's drum set (didnt mean to. just threw it in a random direction) and walked off stage. what an embarrassment!



Florian -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 25 2009 5:44:39)

haha both of your stories are funny..srshea i am loughing expecially cause i can just imagine how stressed out and worried you must have been considering our past conversations about this dancers thing ....and the stress

i heard some beauties and been in some beauties..

one where Manolo Snlucar kicked his whole group off the stage one by one lol because they made mistakes or so he he was convinced....the mistakes werent obvious to anyone else...

just a matter of time before hes gonna make his musiceans go and stand in the corner of the stage with the back to the audience starring at the wall [:D]


And R.Riqueny who is making a comeback was at a concert and keped messing up the same scale and keped going for it and he keped messing it up until he sat the guitar down on his chair got up light up a cigarete and was walking around on stage smoking and talking at the guitar....while the audience were just ...[:o][8|]


there was a festival outdoors and this girl was dancing an alegrias..first off her sawl got cought on the chair as she was coming out ...they untangled her, then 2 minutes later the electricity went out..noone could see her ( was at night) or hear her or the musiceans for about 2 minutes but she keped going , then when the electricity finally came back on a fight broke out into the crowd and someone pulled a knife on someone..the whole crowd cleared and ran off in all directions and wasent even looking at her anymore..
but she finished absolutleley with no emotion or without even raising a eyebrow..



me i told a group of girls who were sitting at the front to fu*k off once for talking during my intro..it was a spare of the moment thing...not in front of everyone..

i went and set at their table after the show and said why would you take the front table if you arent interested in the show...etc. etc..they really pushed my patience...there was a whole show happening on stage, there weere spotlights, dancers, singers, everyone else was quiet they were talking about god knows what ...really loud without even looking around for a second or wondering why everyone else is so quiet....if we had a mirror on stage they might have looked at us..its not so bad when we were all loud but during the more quiet parts..etc silencio, intros falsetas...its really distracting kills everything..

i have done background music too were people talk and the music is just ambience in the background, no problem with that, as long as i am prepared for that and thats what it is ...this wasent background,


Dont Judge me!! [:D]...u might have done the same..every now and than i do or say what i wish i would have done or said when i think back on an incident ...while thinking about it at home...not often but every now and then on a full moon



Andy Culpepper -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 25 2009 7:10:46)

quote:

And R.Riqueny who is making a comeback was at a concert and keped messing up the same scale and keped going for it and he keped messing it up until he sat the guitar down on his chair got up light up a cigarete and was walking around on stage smoking and talking at the guitar....while the audience were just ...


That's a funny one...I feel kind of bad though because I think he suffers from serious mental illness. It's good to hear that he's making a comeback because the guy is a genious... I hope he got his cocktail right[;)]



mark indigo -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 25 2009 12:00:06)

quote:

I think he suffers from serious mental illness


i never knew that, what's the story?



mark indigo -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 25 2009 12:22:47)

quote:

i told a group of girls who were sitting at the front to fu*k off once for talking during my intro..


way to go mate! yeah, i might have done the same thing, in fact, i sort of did once at a party, 'cos i thought it was not fair on the dancer and it was really putting me off, and the talk was mostly about the choreography.... there was a bit of a row afterwards, with one of them denying it all, but one did apologise, which was good.... i still think i did the right thing, and i'd probably do it again



mark indigo -> [Deleted] (Apr. 25 2009 12:39:07)

Post has been moved to the Recycle Bin at Aug. 31 2013 14:41:04



Doitsujin -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 25 2009 13:34:11)

I heard about a dancer who slipped and fell during a performance. The guitarist jumped up and used his guitar symbolically as gun and shot the dancer. All people were happy and maybe thought it was meant to do it like that.

Another mistake was that a manton somehow attached itself at the mechanics of the guitar of the guitarist and the guitarist also had to stand up run behind the dancer and went on playing... Must have been funny.

Another one was as follows: A guitarrist with classical background played a flamenco gig and came on stage wearing a pinguin. Than during the show one of his strings broke. Instead of going on strumming chords, he decided to leave the stage immediately and let the dancer alsone on stage... shock. Strange...

One week ago I saw a performance where they used movie projections a lot. Than the technicians made a mistake and instead of a picture or video, a big "HITACHI-DVD" commercial appeared. haha.. But the show was the best one which I saw during the last couple of years. It was awesome.



xirdneH_imiJ -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 25 2009 14:40:10)

last year there was a bailaor and a bailaora here and they performed 3 nights in a row at a theatre where the ground was very slippery, as i walked next to it i could see it was a hazard...i went for the show on the 2nd night, i was told by a friend who went to the 3rd that the guy slipped and hit himself hardly, but continued as nothing happened...i wouldn't call that a disaster though, it must happen more often than we might think...



Florian -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 25 2009 16:03:21)

Yeah Riqueny's dad hanged himself and Rafael i think was the one that found him.. things were never the same since then ..i cant even begin to imagine how hard it must have been.... also he was seen like the next paco..i think the presure got to him...
my friend said..they love him in madrid..

there was this Honorary concert for Riqueny on tv and a big hall where all this famous flamencos were appearing .. he was basically the honorary guest and was sopossed to perform...on the same night when he was sopossed to be on tv my friend went to some bar in seville and riqueny is there wearing a motorbike helmet and drinking and carring on


and with Manolo is a similar story from what i heard, ever since his son died..


both ths guys have understandable circumstances for acting different


Theres another story where Domenic and I were playing for an Older Lady dancer whos been dancing about 30 years, in a proper big show at a venue...and her perls broke in the midlle of her escobilla..and she sliped on them and her legs flew out from under her and she landed on her ass..

Domenic and I keped going thinking shel get up ...but she didnt , so we stoped ( a terrible stop, u know when u going, il keep going il keep going cover this up..ohh maybe i wont il just stop) ...was embarassing quiet..we didnt know what to do, shes just sitting there on her as looking shoked and starring at the ground.....then a voice from all the way back of the room came.. " I think you slipped on your perls Veronica [&:]"



xirdneH_imiJ -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 25 2009 16:35:21)

that must've been an awkward situation...as i was reading the last paragraph i suddenly had an almódovar movie in my mind, this would make a perfect scene [8|]



Guest -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 25 2009 16:50:09)

quote:

her perls broke in the midlle of her escobilla..and she sliped on them and her legs flew out from under her and she landed on her ass

HA hahah ahaha hahahah MUAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA....[:o]to this day, that situation STILL cracks me up[:D]



Guest -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 25 2009 16:53:42)

Flo forgot to mention that she did land her ass on the ground right on 10 (she was doing a break at the time too) her compas was impeccable. Its possibly one of the most dramatic breaks i have ever seen, or probably ever will.



Pimientito -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 26 2009 5:19:53)

Its amazing how much can go wrong on stage. I have a couple of good stories.

I was at one concert where the dancer was in a dress with a zip up back. During the performance the zipper got gradually looser and started opening up more and more until the dress started coming off. She realised what was happening though and got help to pull the zipper back up so she could finish but it was funny.

One that happened to me was at a gig where we were doing a guajira with two dancers. They both had brimmed hats and large fans and had a synchronised routine with opening and closing the fans in compas. Anyway at the end of the routine both dancers finshed with a turn and raising their right arms in the air. The thing is that the younger dancer raised her arm so fast that the fan flew out of her hand and travelled across the stage above the heads of the musicians. At the same time the other dancer raised her arm and actually caught the flying fan. The audience thought it was rehearsed and erupted into applause while we looked in disbelief.

Another happened to an English player called Steve Homes who used to wear a bracelet on his right wrist. During one performance where there was a section of heavy rasgueo the clasp came undone and somehow got tangled in the guitar strings. Somehow it clasped up again with his wrist now firmly locked to the guitar strings. He had to leave the stage to get his guitar unlocked from the bracelet.

The worst one I ever heard of was in a cabaret where different acts followed each other on stage. There was a stand up comedian with a particularly mad sense of humour who actually did a cr@p backstage in the sound hole of the guitar for the next band. At first the guitar player couldnt understand why his guitar felt heavy and in the middle of the performance realised what had happened. The comedian was killing himself laughing off stage. The guitarist had to be restrained by 3 doormen from committing murder.



Pimientito -> [Deleted] (Apr. 26 2009 5:26:28)

Post has been moved to the Recycle Bin at Apr. 26 2009 5:29:26



Pimientito -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 26 2009 5:28:58)

Also forgot to mention the one where we flew a singer in from Spain to do a gig in England. In the middle of a section where he didnt have to sing for a while he took a lump of marijuana out of his pocket and rolled a joint live on stage in the middle of the performance and tucked it back in his pocket again for after the show.



mark indigo -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 27 2009 1:37:59)

quote:

Yeah Riqueny's dad hanged himself and Rafael i think was the one that found him.. things were never the same since then ..i cant even begin to imagine how hard it must have been....


yeah, that's really, really, really bad.... i'm trying to decide whether this is a really tasteless conversation to be having, and if i'm just i'm a sick and moronic gossip-bag.... or if this is ok.... i heard some other stuff about Riqueni, and the thing is, it would be good to know if it's true or not, but maybe i should just shut up and not repeat any of it true or not.... but when an artist that you admire and respect and love their music disappears from the scene completely and stops recording and performing, you can't help wondering what's happened....



mark indigo -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 27 2009 1:39:56)

quote:

cr@p backstage in the sound hole of the guitar


i only just about got over laughing at this enough to type again....



henrym3483 -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 27 2009 2:33:39)

Pimientito ,

im suprised the guitarist didnt notice the foul stench out of the sound hole.

if that was me, i would hunt the scumbag down and when he least expects it break his two legs.



Pimientito -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 27 2009 10:30:23)

Well he did...that was when he realised what was wrong. His nose turned up but he kind of continued playing. I guess he was confused at first. The comedian is well known and used to appear on TV a lot.



Gummy -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 27 2009 13:12:09)

He was probably thinking "Man, I wonder why there's corn on my strings?"
Sorry... Pretty disgusting but so funny at the same time.

I guess his golpe would have a more muffled sound? Sorry again...



a_arnold -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 27 2009 14:15:51)

Okay, here's one:

During Soledad Barrios' group (Noche Flamenca) here a few months ago to an audience of 1500:

The 2 guitarists used miniature wireless lapel microphones inside the soundholes of their guitars (rather than pickups or stand mics). The mic transmits to a receiver that is jacked into the amp, and will transmit up to 100 feet.

The cantaor was doing an a palo seco (a capella) mineras on stage, standing all alone, leaning on a chair, and one of the guitarists started tuning up back stage.

But he had forgotten to turn off his mic. It was transmitting all his tuning noise to the audience. It DIDN'T sound like accompaniment. Even a little bit.

The cantaor put up with it for a few phrases, thinking someone backstage would hear what was going on. Nobody did. Finally, he picked up the chair, threw it down, and stamped off. Heated words were spoken stage right. Long silence. Cantaor comes back out, deep breath, starts over.

BTW I once had a professor make the same mistake in a classroom of 200 students. He excused himself to take a leak and forgot to turn off his wireless lapel mic. The bathroom was within 100 feet of the classroom. Interesting noises and sighs of relief were transmitted to the entire class. When he got back, the class was rolling on the floor.



minordjango -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 27 2009 20:33:39)

there are some classics here, Requeni talking to his guitar and having a smoke etc , thats so cool.

i played at an old persons home ones (like a place where 45-60 old men woman just relaxing listening to a few people playing .......i played a latin piece called Sounds of Bells, in Dmajor, after a while i got lost.....so decided to improvise in D major which i did, i lost its a little them i looked up and 3 people in the front were sleeping......then (my soft guitar was woken up by this man SNORING so loudly.

[&:]



andresito -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 28 2009 3:27:46)

quote:

ORIGINAL: a_arnold
The cantaor was doing an a palo seco (a capella) mineras on stage, standing all alone, leaning on a chair, and one of the guitarists started tuning up back stage.

But he had forgotten to turn off his mic. It was transmitting all his tuning noise to the audience. It DIDN'T sound like accompaniment. Even a little bit.

[:D] LOL! That's brilliant! Makes me think of the first 5 mins of Peter Sellers 'the Party' when the 'wounded' Sellers won't stop bugling the alarm! [:D]



Florian -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 28 2009 3:53:38)

quote:

yeah, that's really, really, really bad.... i'm trying to decide whether this is a really tasteless conversation to be having, and if i'm just i'm a sick and moronic gossip-bag.... or if this is ok.... i heard some other stuff about Riqueni, and the thing is, it would be good to know if it's true or not, but maybe i should just shut up and not repeat any of it true or not.... but when an artist that you admire and respect and love their music disappears from the scene completely and stops recording and performing, you can't help wondering what's happened


yeah i took a second before i wrote it, wondering about that..i dont wanna disrespect the guy, hes had it tough..but it happened, its not a secret a few tousand people in the audience saw it, it did fit the thread title perfectly..its not the end of the world just a funny performance story, he may be doing just fine atm dont let it be more than that in your mind then its cool

as i said..if anyone has a valid excuse for beeing weird is Riqueny..it dosent affect the way i feel about them or their music, lets be realistic, they are human..and so am I... filled with flaws and a lifetime of stupid things i have done lol

i am enjoying this thread, some very funny stories , its nice to mix some funny stories into our flamenco discussions



Mark2 -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 28 2009 8:52:46)

I was playing in a show where two singer/dancers had a routine with Anda Jaleo-the Lorca tune that usually goes into bulerias. They both sang and danced in the piece. They were both using wireless mikes and ear monitors. She got something tangled in his ear monitor or mike and they were unable to separate themselves as they continued singing and trying to dance, moving around in circles while they tried to untangle. It was hilarious. After a few seconds the audience realized what was happening and they started cracking up.



Florian -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 28 2009 9:47:23)

Another beauty

theres this same club where alot of people have fallen I saw a video of Sal Bonavista fall backwoods off the stage hehe i mean one sec was there the next gone what made it funnyer is that he could sense he was losing his balance and tried to hold on to the litlle aluminum music stand wich went with him lol his music scores flying everywhere...it was a beauty...he came climb back up on stage tried to arrange his pages in order then gave up and just did it without the stand lol


Sal if you around , i know how to get my hands on the video if you wanna see it mate, it was funny [:D][:D]



minordjango -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 29 2009 3:19:14)

thats a classic also poor sal, hes a good dude.

another one i was playing n a hippie rock band, and we took an acid tablet and a cookie and a few beers( totally wasted).

we did a doors number and it got to my solos, i put my guitar down and played (with gestures) my solo, with out the guitar in my hands,

then i said in the microphone, Its all about feel just feel, and having a guitar is not required just visualise the colors.

[:-]man i was ripped



minordjango -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 29 2009 3:22:34)

and my solo was about 2 mins long, the band said........... mmm better sober him up lets get more beers.

i woke up 2 days after, and i think wrote a poem[:-][:-]



minordjango -> RE: Funny Performance Disasters? (Apr. 29 2009 3:27:59)

oh and yet another cookie binge (dope cookie) , thought id have a cookie before i went to play at a club (solo guitar thing) i took the cookie, and did my first gig, then went to manager to get money , strange not many people there.

i went to the wrong bloody place!!!!, it was down the road i was suppose to be playing, by the time i got to the other gig i was totalled, i remeber playing a Dminor chord on the 2nd fret when it should be on the first, man missing the noted by a fret is always bad, .

love and learn !!! Drugs are bad okkkkkkkkk



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