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A question about social anxiety
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Piwin
Posts: 3559
Joined: Feb. 9 2016
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 RE: A question about social anxiety (in reply to jg7238)
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IMO, simple breathing exercices can go a long way. Even just the ol' 3-deep-breath thing helps.
On the longer run, I think social anxiety can be tamed. But like any skill, you have to practice it. In my case, from time to time I try to put myself in a situation where I know I'll "do bad". For instance, I've taken some dance classes (which is quite possibly the one thing on earth I suck most at...) in settings where I knew absolutely no one. Though I did give it an honest try, it wasn't so much about learning how to dance than about overcoming the anxiety. For severe cases, even just knocking at the neighbor's door to ask for salt can be challenging. But even there it's the same idea: putting yourself out there, in the situation you're not comfortable with until at some point you end up feeling more comfortable.
Basically put, I don't think it's about feeling confident all the time. Rather, it's about getting comfortable with the feeling of lack of confidence. I don't know if that makes any sense, but it works for me 
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"Anything you do can be fixed. What you cannot fix is the perfection of a blank page. What you cannot fix is that pristine, unsullied whiteness of a screen or a page with nothing on it—because there’s nothing there to fix."
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Date Feb. 20 2016 11:53:47
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El Kiko
Posts: 2697
Joined: Jun. 7 2010
From: The South Ireland
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RE: A question about social anxiety (in reply to Piwin)
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seconded ....i would go with the shrink thing ...... 
in the performance thing , i do get a bit of stage fright before going on , i always did ..but i always had a quiet moment first the went on stage ...
I think about the music and the sound and whats coming up and a whole load of things to do with the performance .. ''dont forget this and do that etc ....' that kind of puts my mind off other things ...
It gives the impression of confidence , I think, without really having any
once things get going ., I actually do forget Im in front of people , and another me switches on ..so afterward I dont remember maybe as much as i should ,, always thinking of whats next and not what was ..
A social event is more tricky , depends on what the event is , whos there and what is expected of you
I think most people , used to it or not , have this problem ,, its about speaking in public , addressing an audience when all attention is on you ...but your not any different to anyone else .. thats one thing you have to realize , everyone has a bit of this , and the only way to do it is to do it ...
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Don't trust Atoms.....they make up everything.
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Date Feb. 20 2016 13:17:31
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estebanana
Posts: 9351
Joined: Oct. 16 2009
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RE: A question about social anxiety (in reply to jg7238)
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Social anxiety is a big subject for artistic - creative people. Many would have had much better beginnings at their careers if not for socialization difficulty. I was not a 'people person' in any way when I was young in my 20's and I was doing great work. I had to evolve into being able to engage with others.
Many artists who have social anxiety are already brilliant, deep thinkers and souls with integrity and drive. Just remember that. Then drop into a good therapist and start talking about. For some it is about self esteem issues that cripple them in social situations and for others there are greater factors at work. Some who suffer social anxiety issues have very complicated pathologies that should be evaluated by a good therapist. Most however are wrapped up in self esteem issues.
In the US artists are not culturally valued enough, or are culturally undervalued, either way you want to say it. And family dynamics around self value and art is a big problem for artists in the US. A lot of this is what drives artistic creatives to self medicate with alcohol and worse. Prescription drugs for anxiety are not always relevant or needed, and the latest studies in therapy practice and medical research has shown that prescription drugs to quell anxiety have been prescribed in an overreaching manner. The up to date psychologist today is not handing out handfuls of pills.
Stage fright is natural and probably a realistic state of being as a performer. You can hear veteran performers say they get nervous when laying it on the line with new material, but with maturity as a performer comes some added confidence that you will get through. It is important to distinguish between stage fright and a more global form of social anxiety. Stage fright in itself might be healthy, whereas not being able to function as a whole person or under crushing psychological pressure in other social situations is quite another problem. Although they share components of fear and questioning, each one should be be looked at to understand where they begin and end. They have similar triggers, but the cure for stage fright is to finish the show. The cure for general anxiety is to look at why and how it is triggered and then work through those issues with a professionally trained helper.
That all said, if alcohol or drugs are not used as a continual self medication trip that causes or extends the anxiety, well then an analeptic swig or two can help smooth some rough edges in conversation. But if the drinker finds them self at parties hovering in less populated sector staring into a glass of beer rather that engaging others, well then drinking is probably not so good.
One thing you can do right away is to read about our great role model artists, writers, creators on the subjects of culture and how artists fit into society. There are interviews and essays by many artists about how they deal with anxiety, self esteem and how we as creative workers both fit and do not fit into society. I listened to an interview many years ago of Jean Genet speaking about his life. He said artists, meaning poets, film makers, writers, visual artists and all the rest, go at society at an oblique angle. He said they hit society at an angle, and like a bullet something in artists ricochet off of society and does not get absorbed. he spoke in some finny metaphors about the problems of alienation that artists in particular have because we are making a challenge to normality in culture, or to what is accepted. When I heard that I began to look at other examples of artists dealing with the problems of coming at society from an angle. I lot of confidence can be gained by hearing well known high level pros talk about confidence issues. Everyone has them and when you understand that you feel it is normal. Feeling normal about pressures resulting from artistic careers and pastimes can really help to move through the challenges of anxiety.
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https://www.stephenfaulkguitars.com
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Date Feb. 20 2016 23:20:43
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