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My baby left me
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Richard Jernigan
Posts: 3430
Joined: Jan. 20 2004
From: Austin, Texas USA
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 RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M)
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Ron-
I am a very fortunate man. I love Scotch whisky. I have a bit of a taste for tequila and gin as well. I enjoy a glass of wine...or three or four. But if I drink too much, it makes me feel bad, and I lay off it for a while. As I said, I'm a lucky man.
The best boss I ever had, my mentor in my career, eventually one of my very best friends, was not so lucky. He and his wife divorced, messily. He fell out with his children who were at university. When I asked him why, he smiled ruefully and said, "Probably because I phoned them up too many times when I was drunk."
His mother, whom his father found impossible to get along with, clung to life for nearly a year until she could die on Christmas day. One of the children told me she thought it was done out of spite.
My friend and I used to like to drink together. But bit by bit the whisky got the best of him. He would disappear for a day or two, and reappear looking like Death warmed over. He was one of the founders of a very successful company, the one that led the way for Austin to become a center of high tech. He had to be relieved of his Vice-Presidency because of the booze. Soon he was out of work altogether.
He had plenty of money to live on, but he sank lower and lower. Eventually though, he began to pull out of it. Probably at his daughter's insistence he joined a therapy group. I'm not sure how much good the therapy did him, but there he met and fell in love with a younger woman.
He got off the bottle, but had a few relapses. After two or three years though, he was off the booze completely and never went back. He returned to work, and found his niche in the company he helped to start. He ran the internally funded research and development projects. He was a scientific genius and a true gentleman. He was the binding force for the outstanding technical people.
He and his new love married. He retired from the company and they bought a farm east of Austin. His father was a PhD biologist, and he had always had a great love for and interest in plants and animals. They turned the farm into a showplace. She developed a herd of prime Angus cattle.
Once he said to me, "You know what's great about this farm? There's something that absolutely has to be done every single day."
He passed away last February at age 85. He had a full and happy life for about thirty years after he recovered from his life plowing into the ditch and the booze getting the best of him.
His funeral was a celebration of a life well lived. He was admired by all who knew him.
I PM'ed you once about a period of darkness in my own experience. I've been back out in the sunlight for 25 or more years myself. I'm happier than at any other time in my life. Now I look forward to every new day.
Hang in there. The spirit can be resilient. Life can be good after it has been as bad as you can possibly imagine. And you're not alone: look at the friends you have here.
RNJ
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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |
Date Nov. 17 2011 23:59:15
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kudo
Posts: 2064
Joined: Sep. 3 2009
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RE: My baby left me (in reply to Ron.M)
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quote:
Agathagoagnes
wtf dude?? this is no joke ! and you dont even know Ron, and you just joined yesterday??
Ron, Im very sorry to hear that, and I agree with all that has been said here, its very hard but stay strong, get away from alcohol, remember what you did before you met her, how your life was being single, and focus on yourself.
If I were you, I would probably comfort myself through playing solea, seguiriya and those kind of stuff, and I think because of the deep pain, they would come out sounding really good! but I was never in a relationship so I would not really know how I would react, but my point is that to use flamenco to get your expressions/feelings out instead of letting it all instead and instead of hurting yourself. thats how flamenco was made (if you really think about it).
also, your guitar, is your dear, a part of you, a part of your life that never lets you down. play your guitar instead of drinking alcohol and seek something...
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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |
Date Nov. 18 2011 2:06:04
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Florian
Posts: 9282
Joined: Jul. 14 2003
From: Adelaide/Australia
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RE: My baby left me (in reply to HolyEvil)
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takes longer for men to fall but when they do its harder...its like women have a freaking secret course on how to deal with it ....they fine the next week, out shopping and having lunch with girlfriends, making new friends, socializing, it hurts them too but they are much much better at accepting it and moving on....they are really good at keeping their mind occupied...which is something we should be learning from them...but instead we chosse to stay indors, feel sorry for ourselfs etc
while the guy is miserable, drinking, self destructive, not eating, a shadow of his former self for months and years, refusing to accept it, and making excuses for her (if its her fault)..WTF ??
see Ron u not alone mate, its the same for all of us...first thing ...stop making excuses for her to yourself...she did you wrong
sorry Ron if this is not what u wanna hear atm...its a tricky situation, hard to know the right thing to say ( i know we wanna hear, she will come back)....so i am just gonna say it...sometimes we don't wanna hear certain things at this time (correct me if anything upsets you)......but the sooner u accept shes not your "baby" anymore the sooner u stop making excuses for her and thinking of the goodtimes u shared together, which is natural btw, we all do it...the sooner your mind will get in a better position to deal with this f*ed situation
i know its a little simplistic but love and heart brake is something we do to ourselfs by oursefls...in our mind...when we chose think about it over and over in a certain way..we choose to fall inlove by chosing to thinking about it and romanticizing about it in our head in a certain way...why do people fall out of love ? because they chose to think about it the other way...or they chose to think about other people
your baby wouldn't do this to you after 33 years togheder...wouldn't leave you like this
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REPORT THIS POST AS INAPPROPRIATE |
Date Nov. 18 2011 6:47:26
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